Art Collector Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Art Collector jokes. There are some art collector jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these art collector puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Silly Art Collector Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."

A picture worth millions

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right."

Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."

A wealthy art collector got a call from his lawyer...

Lawyer: I have good news and bad news.

Art Collector: I've had a bad day, so lets start with the good news.

Lawyer: Well, your wife has invested a couple hundred dollars in a a few pictures that she expects to get a couple million for.

Art Collector: That's great! What's the bad news?

Lawyer: Well, the pictures are of you and your secretary.

A prominent art collector quits the Cabinet immediately after his confirmation

He had stumbled into the wrong auction

What did the classical art museum acquisitions director say to the arts benefactor and collector of early Renaissance paintings?

S3ND NUD3S

I'm a traveling art collector, but not doing so well...

I'm always in need of Monet to buy Degas to make the van Gogh.

People often talk about how h**... was a failed artist…

But they rarely give him credit for being a great art collector.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the art collector puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working art collector piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes