The Best 12 Arsenic Jokes

Following is our collection of Arsenic jokes which are very funny. There are some arsenic tellurium jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arsenic manganese puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Arsenic Jokes and Puns

A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks for five kilos of arsenic.

The chemist says, "That's very dangerous, what do you want it for?"
Wife replies, "I'm giving it to my husband. He had an affair"
Chemist says, "Oh no, I could get in a lot of trouble for giving you that"
Wife goes into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband.....having sex with the chemist's wife.
"Oh, that's different. I didnt realise you had a prescription"

The most toxic substances known to mankind.

1. Arsenic
2. Cyanide
3. Polonium
4. Mercury
5. The League of Legends community

A Scotsman at the chemist's shop.

A Scotsman went into a chemist's shop, and asked to buy some arsenic.

"That'll be a pound - er, what do you want it for?" the chemist asked suspiciously.

"Fifty pence," replied the Scotsman.

Arsenic joke, A Scotsman at the chemist's shop.

Cyanide?

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady says "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you any for that reason" says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. He looks at the photo and says "Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!"

A dying lawyer

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside.

"Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade."

"Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."


What kind of music do mercury, arsenic and lead listen to?

Heavy metal.

A scientist named Nick asked his colleague about what was smelling here.

"Arsenic", he said.

Why do 19th century western women insist on staying in the kitchen?

It's easier to control the arsenic.

A recent study shows people with trace amounts of Arsenic, Selenium, Astatine, and Erbium have the longest lasting relationships

The best couples always have an AsSeAtEr

This should be a standard response to chemistry jokes

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium

Yttrium Oxygen Uranium

Arsenic Sulphur Tungsten Iodine Phosphorus Einsteinium

:)

An organic chemist was banned from using the labs after substituting a nitrogen for an arsenic atom in an aromatic pyrrole compound.

Good riddance. He was a bit of an arsole anyway.

You can explore arsenic poison reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arsenic penicillin dad jokes. There are also arsenic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Are you made of Fluorine, Astatine, Arsenic, and Sulfer?

Because you're a F At As S :D

And if you dont get the joke, you must be made of Deuterium, Uranium, Muriaticum, and Boron... cause You're D U M B!

What i'm trying to say is study your periodic table...

Maybe you will find out two elements arent on the periodic table ;)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arsenic uranium jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arsenic nobelium piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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