The Best 14 Arsenic Jokes

Arsenic jokes are the best way to get through tough times. These jokes will make you laugh, think, and maybe even cry.

Top 10 Funniest Arsenic Jokes and Puns

A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks for five kilos of arsenic.

The chemist says, "That's very dangerous, what do you want it for?"
Wife replies, "I'm giving it to my husband. He had an affair"
Chemist says, "Oh no, I could get in a lot of trouble for giving you that"
Wife goes into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband.....having sex with the chemist's wife.
"Oh, that's different. I didnt realise you had a prescription"

The most toxic substances known to mankind.

1. Arsenic
2. Cyanide
3. Polonium
4. Mercury
5. The League of Legends community

A Scotsman at the chemist's shop.

A Scotsman went into a chemist's shop, and asked to buy some arsenic.

"That'll be a pound - er, what do you want it for?" the chemist asked suspiciously.

"Fifty pence," replied the Scotsman.

Cyanide?

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady says "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you any for that reason" says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. He looks at the photo and says "Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!"

Prescription

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks "What for? "She says "I want to kill my husband ". He says "Sorry, I can't do that. "She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him. He says, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription... "


A dying lawyer

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside.

"Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade."

"Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."

What kind of music do mercury, arsenic and lead listen to?

Heavy metal.

Arsenic joke, What kind of music do mercury, arsenic and lead listen to?

What is Arsenic called in America?

Assnic

A scientist named Nick asked his colleague about what was smelling here.

"Arsenic", he said.

Why do 19th century western women insist on staying in the kitchen?

It's easier to control the arsenic.

A recent study shows people with trace amounts of Arsenic, Selenium, Astatine, and Erbium have the longest lasting relationships

The best couples always have an AsSeAtEr

You can explore arsenic heavy metal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arsenic soil contamination dad jokes. There are also arsenic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Are you made of Fluorine, Astatine, Arsenic, and Sulfer?

Because you're a F At As S :D

And if you dont get the joke, you must be made of Deuterium, Uranium, Muriaticum, and Boron... cause You're D U M B!

What i'm trying to say is study your periodic table...

Maybe you will find out two elements arent on the periodic table ;)

This should be a standard response to chemistry jokes

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium

Yttrium Oxygen Uranium

Arsenic Sulphur Tungsten Iodine Phosphorus Einsteinium

:)

An organic chemist was banned from using the labs after substituting a nitrogen for an arsenic atom in an aromatic pyrrole compound.

Good riddance. He was a bit of an arsole anyway.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arsenic iron puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arsenic chlorine piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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