The Best 28 Arsenal Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arsenal jokes. There are some arsenal footballer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arsenal striker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Arsenal Jokes and Puns

3 soccer players, one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenal, are lost in the desert.

They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what? So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. The player from Liverpool goes, well in that case I'll eat the LIVER. Then guy from ARSEnal says...i'm not hungry....

The new Arsenal bra in their fan store

Lots of support but no cups :/

What do you call five Arsenal fans at the Emirates Stadium?

A holiday trip

Arsenal joke, What do you call five Arsenal fans at the Emirates Stadium?

Teacher : Do you know the reason Manchester United lost to Arsenal ?

Student : Manchester United lost because their defenders were Young, Small and Blind

Did you hear about the ref who was flashed by a soccer team?

He saw arsenal


Value of a season ticket!

A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said A her husband,

'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?'

'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's almost over!'

What do you call a bear without teeth?

A gummy bear.

I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes.

Arsenal joke, What do you call a bear without teeth?

In the 90's Arsenal Soccer Club

Had a player called David Dicks. When he was injured,the Newspaper wrote"Arsenal to play without Dicks". The coach was upset so the Newspaper changed the headline to read"Arsenal to play with Dicks out"... A record number of women attended the match

Arsene Wenger to be named new Brexit Minister.

Since he led Arsenal to another quick European exit.

Police broke up a fight between an Arsenal and a Bayern Munich fan.

They decided not to press charges because it was 2 of one and half a score of the other.

"Arsenal found in man's basement!"

How he fit a regulation pitch down there, we still don't know.

You can explore arsenal fifa reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arsenal championship dad jokes. There are also arsenal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I just built an AI computer to predict soccer results, but scrapped it after a crazy 100 - nil prediction for Liverpool vs Arsenal yesterday.

Then I realised it was in binary

I stopped a bloke in the street and said, "Can you help me? I'm looking for a rubbish tip."

He replied, "Arsenal to win the premiership."

Being an Arsenal fans is like dating with no sex

Winning games but no trophy

Arsenal lost to Nottingham Forest.

Three cats live at the football stadium

It was lean pickings one winter but eventually they managed to catch a mouse and are discussing how they will divide it up.

The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. I support Liverpool so I will eat it's Liver

"Great idea" says the second cat "I support Hartlepool. I will eat the heart

The third cat says "I support Arsenal, I'm not that hungry thanks"

Arsenal joke, Three cats live at the football stadium

Arsenal are playing Vorskla in the UEFA cup tonight.

They aren't that highly rated and no one really knows much about them, but apparently they're a small club from North London. 😁

What do you call a battle-trained donkey that's armed to the teeth?

An arsenal.

What do you call a donkey with weapons?

An arsenal


Every week I get depressed when I see these men with funny haircuts on the TV making foolish decisions.

It sure is hard to be an Arsenal supporter.

What famous movie from the 90's features an ex Arsenal manager?

Lion King (Nants ingonyama)

"Arsenal" is just a word made up of two words which mean the same thing.

Arse-anal (almost same)

What vegetable has the least manners?

The rude-abega.

I came up with this today at the grocery store, and I'm not a dad, so all you dads out there, here's one for your arsenal. Godspeed.

The last time Arsenal kept a clean sheet

Mia Khalifa was still a virgin

What does the man that sticks weapons up his ass have?

An arsenal.

The local yokel heard the US was going to start confiscating certain guns. "Not muh guns!" he yelled. So he starts shoving them up his butt...

He had quite the arsenal.

Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for

For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.

Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."

By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arsenal cavaliers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arsenal juventus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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