Arsenal Jokes

Following is our collection of fifa humor and footballer one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Arsenal puns for adults, dirty championship jokes or clean striker gags for kids.

There is an abundance of cavaliers jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 24 funniest jokes on arsenal. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any juventus witze you can hear about arsenal.

The Best jokes about Arsenal

Value of a season ticket!

A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said A her husband,

'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?'

'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's almost over!'

The Bravest Football Fan

Three football fans, an Arsenal fan, a Chelsea fan, and a Manchester United fan, are caught gambling in a country in which gambling is illegal. They are brought before a judge and sentenced to be whipped 50 times each. Right before the judge releases the men, he tells them they each can have one request. When brought before the torturer, the Arsenal fan requests to have 3 pillows strapped to his back. After 15 hits, the pillows are completely gone, leaving the man with 35 more unprotected hits. The Chelsea fan requests to have 6 pillows strapped to his back. After 30 hits, the pillows are in shreds and he endures 20 more hits. The torturer takes a look at the Manchester United fan and says "You look like a brave man, I have decided to take mercy on you and give you an extra wish". Upon hearing this, the Manchester United fan smile and asks for four times as many hits. The torturer looks at him in awe and says "I was right, you are a brave man, now what is your second wish?". The Mabchester United fan smirks and says "I' like a Chelsea fan strapped to my back."

Teacher : Do you know the reason Manchester United lost to Arsenal ?

Student : Manchester United lost because their defenders were Young, Small and Blind

What do you call a bear without teeth?

A gummy bear.

I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes.

Three cats live at the football stadium

It was lean pickings one winter but eventually they managed to catch a mouse and are discussing how they will divide it up.

The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. I support Liverpool so I will eat it's Liver

"Great idea" says the second cat "I support Hartlepool. I will eat the heart

The third cat says "I support Arsenal, I'm not that hungry thanks"


Some football fans are stranded in the woods

There are 3 of them.
One liverpool fan, one hartlepool fan and an arsenal fan.
They decide that they are going to need some food if they are to survive.
They set a trap and manage to capture a bear.
"We can't eat bear meat!" the arsenal fan shouts, "we're going to die if we don't" the liverpool fan replies, the hartlepool fan agrees with the liverpool fan.
They then decide how they are going to split the bear.
"I'll have the liver since I'm from liverpool" says the liverpool fan,
"I'll have the heart since I'm from hartlepool" says the hartlepool fan, and the arsenal fans shrieks "I'm not hungry".

In the 90's Arsenal Soccer Club

Had a player called David Dicks. When he was injured,the Newspaper wrote"Arsenal to play without Dicks". The coach was upset so the Newspaper changed the headline to read"Arsenal to play with Dicks out"... A record number of women attended the match

3 soccer players -

3 soccer players are lost in the desert. Ones plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenal. They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what? So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. The player from Liverpool goes, well in that case I'll eat the LIVER. Then guy from ARSEnal says...i'm not hungry....

Arsenal are playing Vorskla in the UEFA cup tonight.

They aren't that highly rated and no one really knows much about them, but apparently they're a small club from North London. 😁

Being an Arsenal fans is like dating with no sex

Winning games but no trophy

Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for

For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.

Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."


Arsene Wenger to be named new Brexit Minister.

Since he led Arsenal to another quick European exit.

Police broke up a fight between an Arsenal and a Bayern Munich fan.

They decided not to press charges because it was 2 of one and half a score of the other.

What does the man that sticks weapons up his ass have?

An arsenal.

The local yokel heard the US was going to start confiscating certain guns. "Not muh guns!" he yelled. So he starts shoving them up his butt...

He had quite the arsenal.

"Arsenal found in man's basement!"

How he fit a regulation pitch down there, we still don't know.

Liverpool - Arsenal: Wenger brings on Arteta for Ozil...

Whoops. Wrong sub.

"Arsenal" is just a word made up of two words which mean the same thing.

Arse-anal (almost same)

What famous movie from the 90's features an ex Arsenal manager?

Lion King (Nants ingonyama)


Every week I get depressed when I see these men with funny haircuts on the TV making foolish decisions.

It sure is hard to be an Arsenal supporter.

What do you call a battle-trained donkey that's armed to the teeth?

An arsenal.

The last time Arsenal kept a clean sheet

Mia Khalifa was still a virgin

What vegetable has the least manners?

The rude-abega.

I came up with this today at the grocery store, and I'm not a dad, so all you dads out there, here's one for your arsenal. Godspeed.

What do you call a donkey with weapons?

An arsenal

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes