Arrow Jokes

Following is our collection of aims humor and cupid one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Arrow puns for adults, dirty archery jokes or clean bullseye gags for kids.

There is an abundance of dart jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 49 funniest jokes on arrow. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any archer witze you can hear about arrow.

The Best jokes about Arrow

What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow?

A Chinese telephone.



Wing wing. Arrow?

What has 2 wings and 1 Arrow ?

A Chinese telephone

Wing

Wing

Arrow?




(posted this last year got some good feedback)

Physicist, Engineer and Statistician are out bow-hunting.

They see a stag about a hundred feet away. The Physicist takes a shot, but he forgets to allow for wind resistance and the arrow falls five feet short. The Engineer takes his shot, but he adds too much of a fudge factor and the arrow's five feet too far.

The statistician goes "Nice job guys, we got him!"

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."

She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.

Three boys are bragging about whose dad is the fastest runner...

The first says "My dad is a hunter. He can shoot an arrow, run to where it's gonna land and catch it!"

"That's nothing!" says the second boy "My dad's a police officer. He can shoot a bullet and be at the target before the bullet hits!"

"My dad can run the fastest!" says the third boy. "He's a civil servant. He works till 4 and is always home by 3:30!"


An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...

The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".

Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer...

The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.

The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.

The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"

Time flies like an arrow,

and fruit flies like a banana.

I used to be an Uncle like you...

...Until I took an arrow to the niece.

Arrows & Targets

A boy gets a bow & arrow for his 10th birthday. He walks outside and starts shooting his arrows. Later his father walks in on him and exclaims, "Wow each of these arrows landed in a target great job! Lets go out for ice cream!" So his father and he go out for the ice cream after it's finished his father asks, "how did you do it?" Then the son says, "It wasn't hard. I just shot arrows and drew circles around them."

probably won't get him laid

A guy walks into a bar and starts pretending to shoot arrows to a few girls. One of those girls smiles and gets closer to talk: "Hey, I saw that you threw me an arrow." she said while winking at him.

"Yes, I guess I did." came his reply.

"Who are you?", she asked. "Cupid throwing love arrows?"

"No, I'm Legolas killing orcs"


Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."

The second boy says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!"

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says, "You two know nothing about speed. My father works in the Govt department. He stops working at 5:00 and he is home by 3:45!!"

A blonde and her friend lost in the forest

A blonde and her friend are lost in the forest. The friend goes out on the first night and comes back with a deer, killed with a primitive bow and arrow. "Wow!" the blonde exclaims, "How did you do that?!" The friend tried to keep it very simple for the blonde so she could understand. She replied, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks. I see deer, I shoot deer." the blonde nodded in understanding. The next night, the blonde, feeling a thousand times smarter than she was before, volunteered to go hunting. When she returned, however, she was beaten up, scraped and bleeding. "What happened?!" the friend was worried. The blonde replied in a very agitated, upset tone. "I did what you said!" She screamed. "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train I shoot train!"

Why are archers good at building planes?

Because they're experts in arrow dynamics

An old lady, after a long life of loss and agony, was going to commit suicide by shooting herself in the heart with a crossbow. She researched human anatomy and learned her heart was just under her left breast.....

She was just admitted to the ER with an arrow to the knee.

3 Kids are arguing about who's dad is the fastest...

At lunch, the first boy says his dad is the faster because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor he can run to the ground level & be there before the brick hits...


Not bad says the 2nd boy, but my dad is faster.


He is a professional archer. When he shoots an arrow at the bulls-eye he can reach it before the arrow does...


That's pretty fast, says the 3rd boy, but not as fast as my old man.


My dad works for the Government as a public servant, & when he finishes work a 5pm, he can get home by 2:30pm...

How do you improve your archery?

With better arrow dynamics.

Three men line up to show off their skills at archery

They are to shoot off the apple off of a young boy's head. The first one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple clean off of the boy's head, and says, "I am Robin Hood!". The second one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple of the boy's head, and says, "I am William Tell!". The third one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the poor boy in the skull, who then proceeds to drop dead. The archer looks at what he has done, takes off his hat, and whispers, "I am sorry."

Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow in the sky

She missed


How many flat-earthers does it take to draw an arrow?

None. They can't make a point.

What did Achilles say when he got hit by an arrow?

Aww heel no!






Kill me right now.

I don't like blunt arrow heads.

They are pointless.

I used to be Muslim, but then I took an arrow to the knee...

Now I Muslimp.

What do you call a man with a knife in his belly, an axe in his back and an arrow in his head?

An ambulance.

The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today...

I told them it wasn't pressing.

A man went on a semi-guided hunting trip in the remote wilderness.

Before setting off on the first day the guide instructed him to shoot three times into the air if he should get lost. Sure enough, the man the man became lost and did as instructed. Nobody came. This continued over the course of the next four days. Finally, on the fifth day a search party located the lost man and just in the nick of time as he only had one arrow left.

The legend of Sorry the archer.

An archery contest is taking place, and all the top archers of Europe are in attendance. The final begins, and the three greatest archers must compete in shooting an apple from a little girls head.

The first archer steps up. He draws, and fires an arrow right through the apple. The audience applauds, he bows and proclaims "I am Robin Hood!"

The second archer steps up. He draws, and also hits the apple. He waves his hat at the cheering crowd, and cries out "I am William Tell."

The third archer steps up. He draws, and fires his arrow through the little girls eye. Blood sprays everywhere, the audience gasps and ladies faint. He takes his hat off, and announces "I am Sorry".

You're my one and only love.

One day, a gorgeous young woman comes into the stationery and asks the clerk:

-Do you have cards with a red heart, an arrow trough it and "You are my One and only Love." written in big golden letters?

-Sure we do, valentine's right around the corner.

-Good, I'll take a dozen please.

I used to underestimate Hawkeye

Then I took an arrow to the knee.

I once saw a store with a big arrow above the door

The owner removed it. It was pointless.

My friend almost killed me with his crossbow

Say what you want, but it was an arrow escape

Old but gold, Captain Jack Arrow.

Jack Arrow was a captain of a pirate ship. He was always chased by danger. As one day, a crew member came up to captain jack and said " We got an enemy ship approaching us from behind, sir!!!" Captain Jack, with all confidence, replied "Bring me my red shirt!". As the enemy ship boarded Captain Jack's ship, a battle initiated, and it went successfully for Captain Jack's side as not a single crew member of his lost their live. After the battle, the crew member approached Captain Jack, "Sir, why did you ask me to bring your shirt? and why specifically 'red'?" the crew member asked. Captain Jack, with a smile on his face, replied "So that in case I get wounded in battle, my crew would continue to fight!". The very next morning, the same crew member came up to Captain Jack with terror on his face "Sir! we have TEN enemy ships approaching us from behind, sir!!!". Captain Jack, stared dead serious at his face, then screamed "BRING ME MY BROWN PANTS!"

What haw two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone.

(I'm Chinese and I give this joke the Chinese stamp of approval)

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Welder joke

A welder sees an ad for help and a metals shop. $18-$25 per hour. He goes in and asks about the job. They give him some metal to weld and tells him to bring it back when he's done. The welder brings back two welds. The first one is beautiful. Pristine beads, straight as an arrow. The shop owner complements him on such fine work. The second weld is sloppy and unappealing. The shop owner asks "what's up with the difference in welds?" The welder says, "the first one is $25 an hour and the second one is $18".

It was pretty foggy outside..

I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.

Who's the Best Traffic Signal Superhero?

Green Arrow

What's the difference between arrows and boys?

When an arrow hits someone it penetrates right on spot.

So Harold said to William,

I used to be a King like you, but then I took an arrow to the eye.

I used to make great SF games...

but than I took an arrow to the knee.

They say time flies like an arrow...

I guess fruit flies like a banana.

I used to be a chemist like you...

But then I took an arrow to the Ne.

Which is better, Arrow or Flash

Being an Apple Fan, i think it's the arrow. I don't support Flash.

How does Ellen DeGeneres fire an arrow?

With her Les-bow.

3 guys went for an archery competition...

The first guy shoots an arrow into the sky and out of nowhere, a hawk swoops in and catches that arrow and plants it on the bulls eye.

"Who are you?" asked the judge.
"I am Hawkeye.", the first guy replied smugly.

The second guy shoots 2 arrows up into the sky and miraculously, 2 pigeons fly by, catch the arrows with their beaks and plant it on the bulls eye for him.

"Who are you?", asked the bewildered judge.
"I am Oliver Queen." he smirked.

The last guy feeling the pressure of the momentous task to impress shoots 3 arrows into the sky but only to have all of them fell at terminal velocity and penetrate the judge on the arse.

"Wh..wh...who are you?", he groans in great pain.
"I am sorry..."

What keyboard shortcut is the most racist?

Forward (Alt+Right Arrow)

Three men are on a plane

all three of them have weapons. Halfway through the flight an attendant notices the weapons. She tells the men they cant have the weapons on the plane. The first man drops his arrows from the window. The second man drops his gun from the window. The third man drops his bomb.

After the plane lands, the third man is walking along. He notices a little girl crying.
"Little Girl, why are you crying?" He asks
"My dad just got hit by an arrow." she replies.
Sheepishly he runs away. Then he meets a little crying boy.
"Little boy, why are you crying."
"My dad just got shot by god. It just came from the sky."
The man begins to feel bad. Then he sees a little boy laughing.
"Little boy, why are you laughing."
"I just farted and my house blew up!"

The Elves in Lord of The Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them.

It's pretty messed up, they're so arrow minded.

Today I heard about a specific set of insects that appreciate a good directional indicator.

Apparently, time flies like an arrow.

Also, fruit flies like a banana.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes