The Best 35 Arresting Officer Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arresting Officer jokes. There are some arresting officer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arresting officer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Arresting Officer Jokes and Puns

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room

He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."

"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.

"Exactly, so where's my present?"

I got arrested for killing a black man.

They charged me with impersonating a police officer.

My 9 year old son just asked me to pretend I was a police officer arresting him for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Me: Young man, you're under arrest for downloading the entire Wikipedia!

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor...

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. I have an interesting case here, he says. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped. Have you arrested her? asks the sergeant. No, not yet. The floor's still wet.

I punched a white man in the face and was arrested for assault..

The next day when I got out, I punched a black man in the face and was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

The other day I punched a white dude and got arrested for assault,

Today I punched a black guy and got arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I shot a black teenager the other day

I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen

He was charged for impersonating a police officer.

A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

A muslim woman is getting arrested

The police officer handcuffs her

You have the right to remain silent he says.

She suddenly starts laughing. The police officer notices, and questions her behavior.

Why, you see, I'm just happy to finally have a right!

You can explore arresting officer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arresting officer dad jokes. There are also arresting officer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A woman was pumping her gas on an extremely hot day.

As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately walked over to her.

As she pleaded for help, they approached her and immediately arrested her for unlawfully waving a firearm.

I was arrested for killing a black man

I thought I would be charged with murder, but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer.

A man got arrested for having drugs in his pocket.

"Officer," he said, "I can explain."

-How? -the officer replied.

"Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket."

-Don't lie to me. -says the officer.

"Let me show you then."

So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out drugs, throw it in the toilet and fushes the water.

-Let me see your pocket now. -says the officer.

"My pockets?"

-Yes, to see those drugs.

"What drugs?"

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station...

"I have an interesting case here," he said. "A woman just shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested her?" asks the sergeant,

"No, not yet. The floors still wet."

A white man was arrested after shooting a black man on the street.

He was charged with impersonating a police officer.

A cops calls for backup from a crime scene

This is officer John, please send backup, a woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.

Have you arrested the woman?

No Sir, the floor is still wet.

A police officer called the station on his radio.

I have an interesting situation here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

Have you arrested the woman?

No, the floor's still wet.

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating politicians

I was literally in my office doing nothing...

I got arrested for fishing without a license at a dubstep festival.

The arresting officer yelled "drop the bass!"

A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor…

A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor…

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

I have an interesting case here, he says. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.

Have you arrested her? asks the sergeant.

No, not yet. The floor's still wet.

A police officer was dispatched to the house of an elderly couple when the neighbors heard gunshots

Shortly after arriving the officer called into the station to update the sergeant
Officer: "well sergeant, the old woman shot her husband because he walked through the kitchen while she was mopping the floor."
Sergeant: "did you arrest her?"
Officer: "no sir"
Sergeant: "why not?"
Officer: "the floor is still wet."

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.

"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"

"But why?" the guy protests.

"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"

Unnecessary Arrests

The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.

Hans the Norwegian

Hans was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer,

"I saw a big sign vit 66 on it."

"That's Highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.

"Goodness sakes," replied Hans, "you should have seen me yesterday on highway 110!"

Why did the police officer arrest the popcorn?

It was guilty of all salt and buttery.

2 police officers were called to a domestic abuse,

2 police officers were called to a domestic abuse call. when they got there they had to call for backup. 2 police cars showed up making it 6 officers at the scene,

they called headquarters and spoke to their Captain.

"Captain we have a murder here"

"what happened?"

"a wife shot and killed her husband for walking on her still wet mopped kitchen floor"

"well, have you arrested her yet?"

"Not yet, the kitchen floor is still wet."

A man hands out printouts on Red Square. He's then arrested.

Once at the police station, the officers realize that his leaflets were empty. He says, "Everyone knows what the problem is, so why bother writing it down?"

Mr. Peanut was arrested for drunk and disorderly at a local Strip Club

The arresting officer said it wasn't the first time he'd busted a nut in front of a stripper and it wouldn't be the last.

The police officer inspected my drivers license carefully.

"Driver, I see you have a class 3 license that requires you to wear glasses whilst driving. I can't help but notice you are not wearing glasses."
"I've got contacts," I explained.
"I don't care who you know, driver," declared the officer. "You're under arrest."

:-P

A cop calls up the station

Cop: "This is officer John. We have a homicide case here. A woman just shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean."

HQ: "Have you arrested the woman?"

Cop: "No sir, the floor is still wet."

A cop threatened to detain me for impersonating a police officer

Apparently, "you can't arrest me, I'm a police officer!" wasn't a very good answer.

This one time, I shot a defenseless black guy and got arrested..

For impersonating an officer of the law.

An old lady shot her husband on the foot ...

An old lady shot her husband in the foot for stepping on the floor right after she mopped.
An officer reached on the scene and radioed into the station.
Station: "Has the women been arrested ? "
Officer: "No, the floor is still wet ...."

When I was at the immigration office, I interrupted an officer answering his phone and told him "Ship them back where they came from. They have a tendency to explode". He arrested me for being Islamophobic.

As I was dragged out, I was yelling "I was talking about your Samsung Galaxy Note 7!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arresting officer puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arresting officer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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