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Arrested Jokes

132 arrested jokes and hilarious arrested puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arrested that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the lesser-known arrests and running jokes in the popular show "Arrested Development". We take a look at the hidden meta-jokes, court trials, and annulled marriage on the show, and discover the technicalities and implications of each arrest and the legal challenges that come with it, including being tasered in the court room!

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Popular Arrested Short Jokes

Short arrested jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arrested humour may include short apprehended jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
  2. My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
  3. Andrew Tate arrested in Romania after a pizza box showed he was in the country. Police arrested him within 30 minutes As any longer would mean they had to give him a free garlic bread.
  4. I got arrested for illegally downloading the whole of Wikipedia I told them I could explain everything.
  5. Police have arrested the world tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
  6. I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay. They promptly arrested me
  7. The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
  8. Wow. The neighborhood barber just got arrested for dealing drugs. I've been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
  9. I got arrested for killing a black man. They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
  10. Just found out the local barber has been arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 15 years and I didn't even know he cut hair.

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Arrested One Liners

Which arrested one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arrested? I can suggest the ones about detained and arresting officer.

  1. I saw 2 men in matching outfits I asked them if they were gay They arrested me
  2. I saw 2 guys wearing matching outfits and asked if they were gay. They arrested me.
  3. When cops arrest a clinically insane person... ...are they busting a nut?
  4. What do you get when you try to crossbreed a human and a moose? Arrested apparently
  5. What is a pdf file And why is my uncle under arrest for being one
  6. Yo momma is so vegan and fat... ..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.
  7. The creator of winrar is arrested His trial is expected to last forever
  8. Someone donates one kidney and is hailed as a hero. I donate five, and get arrested?
  9. I was arrested for drinking battery acid. But I wasn't charged.
  10. How do you arrest a Roman woman? Caesar.
  11. I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
  12. Why was the mime arrested? He committed an unspeakable crime
  13. How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
  14. I was arrested for being awake too long The cops said i was resisting a rest
  15. Why did the ghost go to jail? He got arrested for possession.

Arrested Charged Jokes

Here is a list of funny arrested charged jokes and even better arrested charged puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So the iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares "sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones".
  • I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons. I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
  • My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
  • The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off.           
  • The police arrested 2 kids today One was eating batteries and the second was eating fireworks
    They charged the first one and let the other off
  • A white man was arrested after shooting a black man on the street. He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
  • Two kids were arrested last night. One ate a battery, the other ate fireworks. They charged the first, and let the other one off.
  • The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
    They charged one and let the other one off.
  • Did you hear about the neutron that was arrested yesterday? He wasn't charged tho
  • I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.

Arrested Assaulting Jokes

Here is a list of funny arrested assaulting jokes and even better arrested assaulting puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I punched a white man in the face and was arrested for assault.. The next day when I got out, I punched a black man in the face and was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
  • The other day I punched a white dude and got arrested for assault, Today I punched a black guy and got arrested for impersonating a police officer.
  • Why did Sodium Chloride get arrested? Assault.
  • Social experiment… I punched a white guy and got arrested for assault. When they let me out I punched a black guy and got arrested… for impersonating a police officer.
  • A cop walks into a bar Then places it under arrest for assaulting an officer
  • Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane? He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.
  • Did you hear about the man who broke a 14 year old piano? He got arrested for assaulting A minor.
  • What did the Duracell Bunny get arrested for? Assault and battery
  • I was arrested for assault with a chicken. The cops suspected foul play.
  • I killed a slug last night... Got arrested for assault.
Arrested joke, I killed a slug last night...

Arrested Development Jokes

Here is a list of funny arrested development jokes and even better arrested development puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My daughter thinks I criticize her too much... That's just one of her many faults.
    (Shamelessly taken from Arrested Development. Thanks, Lucille.)
  • Why did Negan watch Arrested Development? Someone told him there were two Lucilles
  • Noel Gallagher once asked me who my favorite Arrested Development character was. I said Maeby.
  • Would I say that I'm excited for Arrested Development season 5B? Abso-Bluth-ly!
  • Why is Arrested Development funny? Because the farce is strong with that one.
Arrested joke, Why is Arrested Development funny?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about arrested can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of arrested puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Arrested Jokes

What funny jokes about arrested you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jailed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make arrested prank.

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room

He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."
"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.
"Exactly, so where's my present?"

My neighbor just got arrested for growing m**....

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

Recent political joke circulating in China

Three men who don't know each other sits in a prison cell. Each explains why he was arrested.
The first man said: I opposed covid testing.
The second man said: I supported covid testing.
The third man said: I administered the covid tests.

My wife put on a s**... cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.

After a short trial, I was found not guilty.

So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

What was the guitar teacher arrested for?

f**... a minor

Arrested for being too good in bed!

My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.

A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater.

She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.

I was walking around town the other day...

I was walking around town the other day when I saw these two j**...-offs wearing matching outfits, I mean, down to the *belt* same outfits, so I yelled to over to them "Hey faggots did you plan that?"
Anyways, they arrested me.

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

Why was the piano teacher arrested?

He kept f**... A minor.

I saw 2 guys with matching clothes and asked them if they are gay...

They promptly arrested me.

Our local pizza guy has been arrested for selling drugs

I have been a loyal customer for years. I honestly had no idea he was selling pizzas

Can you call the British PM a fool?

During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".

Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school?

Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.

A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor...

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. I have an interesting case here, he says. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped. Have you arrested her? asks the sergeant. No, not yet. The floor's still wet.

My local barber got arrested for selling c**.... This surprised me, since I have been a customer of him for years now, and i'd never known...

...that he was a barber.

My local barber was arrested for selling drugs! I was his customer for years!

Never knew he was a barber

A woman is arrested for beating her husband up with his guitar collection.

The judge asked "First offender?"
The wife answered "No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender"

Oh, sure. My friend donates a kidney to the City Hospital, and he's treated like some hero.

I donate five kidneys and I get arrested.

In my hometown, a barber got arrested for selling drugs.

Blew my mind. I've been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

my friend was arrested for stealing luggage from airport, his trial didn't last more than an hour

It was a brief case

The creator of WinRAR was arrested and put on trial

The trial was supposed to last 40 days, but it keeps on going

A black guy was pulled over in his Mercedes by the police. It was found that it was his, it was taxed and insured...

He had no drugs on him and no weapons were found in the car. The car was NOT linked to any drive by shootings or any drive off petrol thefts.
In the end they arrested him for "wasting police time".

I got arrested the other day for holding a little girl's hand

They wanted to know where the rest of her body was

I just found out my neighborhood barber was arrested for dealing drugs!

I've been his customer for 25 years and I never knew he was a barber.

A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.

He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.

My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!!

Man, that sentence was way too long.

Why was the guitarist arrested?

Because he was f**... A minor...

Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?

As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?

Two guys were arrested for stealing a calendar

they each got six months.
I'm so sorry....

A barber got arrested..

A barber got arrested in my area for dealing drugs and I'm totally shook. I've been his customer for years and never knew he was a barber.

Did you know, that if you take all of the human organs and spread them out on a football field.

You get arrested

A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

I saw two guys walking down the street in matching clothing.

I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983..

Today I saw two guys on the street in matching outfits so I asked them: Are you gay?

They arrested me.

I had no freaking idea!

I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 years, and I had no idea that he was a mechanic!

My wife put on a s**... cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.

After a quick trial I was released due to lack of evidence.

Guitar

The only time you can break a g string while f**... a minor without getting arrested.

A man gets arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia

The man says, Wait! I can explain everything!

The news today about a woman who injected her 8 year old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants. She has been arrested and lost custody.

The child didn't look surprised.

so, my neighbors just got arrested for making their kids get Botox.....

none of the kids looked surprised

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because you need 3 squared meals a day.
The police arrested 3 as well as 7, why?
Because 3 was the root of the problem.

A muslim woman is getting arrested

The police officer handcuffs her
You have the right to remain silent he says.
She suddenly starts laughing. The police officer notices, and questions her behavior.
Why, you see, I'm just happy to finally have a right!

I was at a retro night down at the club

The DJ played "The Twist", so I did the twist. Then he played "The Macarena", and I did the Macarena. When he played "Come on Eileen", that's when the police arrested me.

A woman was pumping her gas on an extremely hot day.

As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately walked over to her.
As she pleaded for help, they approached her and immediately arrested her for unlawfully waving a firearm.

A driver was arrested after a deadly accident...

Policeman: How could you kill 49 people? What the h**... is wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80 km/h when I saw two men crossing the Road. On the road side, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the Breaks, but then I realised they were not working. So, I had to take a decision; either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: You could have hit the 2 men!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other one ran towards the wedding party. So I followed him. ¯\\(ツ)/¯

I was arrested for killing a black man

I thought I would be charged with m**..., but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer.

Pablo Escobar was taken down with the assistance of Columbian children acting as police informants

When he was arrested, Pablo furiously cried out "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those Medellín kids!"

Man arrested for selling eternal youth pills.

News has just come in about a man in the Dublin area has been arrested for selling pills that he claimed would give eternal youth.
Police records have shown that it is the fourth time this man has been arrested. The earlier arrests were made in 1799, 1852 and 1921.

Two policemen . . .

Two policemen call the station on their radio.
"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband
dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."

A man got arrested for having drugs in his pocket.

"Officer," he said, "I can explain."
-How? -the officer replied.
"Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket."
-Don't lie to me. -says the officer.
"Let me show you then."
So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out drugs, throw it in the toilet and fushes the water.
-Let me see your pocket now. -says the officer.
"My pockets?"
-Yes, to see those drugs.
"What drugs?"

3 frogs get arrested

The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, "What's your name?" "Frog," he replies. "What did you do?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor." With that, the judge lets him go.
The second frog goes in. "What's your name?" asks the judge. "Frog Frog." "What were you doing?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir." With that, the judge lets him go.
The third frog comes in. The judge says, "Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog."
The frog says, "No, my name's Bubbles."

A little old lady gets arrested for stealing a can of peaches from a grocery store.

At the trial, the judge asks her why she stole a can of peaches. She replies, "Your Honor, my husband and I don't have much, and we are very poor. I was simply trying to do something about my hunger."
The judge, feeling sorry for the old lady, asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"
"6," the old lady responded.
"Then," the judge said, "you will spend one day in jail for each peach, for a total of 6 days."
"Your Honor," spoke her husband, "she also stole a can of peas!"

If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.

However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station...

"I have an interesting case here," he said. "A woman just shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested her?" asks the sergeant,
"No, not yet. The floors still wet."

Arrested joke, A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station...

jokes about arrested

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these arrested jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.