Comedy Arrested Charged Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
I got arrested for killing a black man.
They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
Arrested for being too good in bed!
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.
So the iPhone 7 gets arrested...
He puts on his earpods and smugly declares "sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones".
I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
I was arrested for drinking battery acid.
But I wasn't charged.
My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!!
Man, that sentence was way too long.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
The police charged one and let the other one off.
The police arrested 2 kids today
One was eating batteries and the second was eating fireworks
They charged the first one and let the other off
You can explore arrested charged reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arrested charged dad jokes. There are also arrested charged puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was arrested for killing a black man
I thought I would be charged with murder, but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer.
A white man was arrested after shooting a black man on the street.
He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
A proton, electron and a neuton get into a bar fight.
The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.
Two kids were arrested last night. One ate a battery, the other ate fireworks.
They charged the first, and let the other one off.
Terrorist
At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
If you were arrested for masturbating on a plane...
....they would have to charge you with hi-jacking
I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun
The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.
The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today.
One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
Did you hear about the neutron that was arrested yesterday?
He wasn't charged tho
Did you hear about the crow that got arrested for trying to throw a party where nobody came?
He got charged with attempted murder
I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge
He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
Unnecessary Arrests
The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.
Karen
Police arrested two Karens yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
My girlfriend dressed up as a cop, and told me she would arrest me for being great in bed.
Unfortunately, all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
A man is arrested for killing a condor
A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."
Breaking News
At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck terror into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
A man was arrested for marrying two ugly women...
He was charged with pigamy.
I got arrested the other day after police found me covering a boy with melted sugar
I was charged with child molassation
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
A man is arrested after nearly being hit by a taxi
He was charged with tax-evasion
Energizer Bunny Arrested
Charged with battery.
Did you hear what happened to Lithium?
He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar.
Did you hear about the crow who got arrested for trying to start a social club?
He was charged with attempted murder... I'll see myself out
Breaking News: Energizer Bunny Arrested
Charged with battery
