Arrested Charged Jokes
103 arrested charged jokes and hilarious arrested charged puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arrested charged that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Arrested Charged Short Jokes
Short arrested charged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arrested charged humour may include short arrested jokes also.
- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
- I got arrested for killing a black man. They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
- So the iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares "sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones".
- I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons. I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
- My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- The police arrested 2 kids today One was eating batteries and the second was eating fireworks
They charged the first one and let the other off - A white man was arrested after shooting a black man on the street. He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
- Two kids were arrested last night. One ate a battery, the other ate fireworks. They charged the first, and let the other one off.
- The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
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Arrested Charged One Liners
Which arrested charged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arrested charged? I can suggest the ones about arrested assaulting and apprehended.
- I was arrested for drinking battery acid. But I wasn't charged.
- Did you hear about the neutron that was arrested yesterday? He wasn't charged tho
- A man was arrested for marrying two ugly women... He was charged with pigamy.
- A man is arrested after nearly being hit by a taxi He was charged with tax-evasion
- Energizer Bunny Arrested Charged with battery.
- Breaking News: Energizer Bunny Arrested Charged with battery
- My phone got arrested today... It was charged with battery.
- The energizer bunny has been arrested!! Has been charged with battery
- What was the charge when NaCl got arrested? A salt.
- A man took a dark photograph and was arrested He was charged with indecent exposure
- Why was the circuit arrested? Because it was charged with battery!
- Why did the ion get arrested? Because it was guilty as charged.
- The energiser bunny was arrested today He was charged with battery
- A man was arrested last night for drinking battery acid... He was later charged.
- Why did Lt. Commander Data get arrested? Because he was being charged with a battery.
Comedy Arrested Charged Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about arrested charged you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arresting officer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make arrested charged pranks.
Did you hear about the d**... that got arrested?
He was charged with possession.
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
A couple of dwarves got arrested...
A couple of dwarves got arrested in London the other day.
They got charged for possession of small arms.
In the bad old days on the Soviet Union,
a dissident published a pamphlet in which he openly said Stalin was a fool. Sure enough, the man was arrested days later for this crime. So, the dissident went to court and said "I'm innocent and want to defend myself! What I said was truthful - I did not commit libel!" The judge said to him "you don't understand - you're not being charged for libel, you're being charged with revealing a state secret."
-heard on an Intelligence Squared debate.
Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?
He was arrested and charged.
...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.
It's funny because it's true. It's frustrating because it's true.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Police, open up, you're under arrest
"Police open up you're under arrest" who?
Alright, now you're charged with resisting arrest too.
A man was arrested for having s**... with a v**...
He was charged with breaking and entering.
Unnecessary Arrests
The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.
If you were arrested for m**... on a plane...
....they would have to charge you with hi-jacking
A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with?
Indie-cent exposure.
A man was arrested for m**... on a plane.
The charge was highjacking, but he got off.
I was arrested for washing my pants without taking the cash out of my pockets.
They charged me for laundering money.
Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man?
On charges of "impersonating a police officer".
I got arrested for shooting a black man
I was charged for trying to impersonate a police officer
Did you hear what happened to Lithium?
He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar.
Irish man arrested for domestic a**...
The man has been arrested on the same charge 5 times before.
"Why do you keep beating her p**...?" asked the police officer.
"Well isn't that obvious you idiot?
It is my height and weight advantage coupled with my superior reach and better footwork!"
I was arrested for killing a black man
I thought I would be charged with m**..., but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer.
s**... joke
Wife dressed up as a police woman, handcuffed me to the bed and said I was under arrest for being a s**... god.
Was released 2 minutes later with no charge.
Arrested for being too good in bed!
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm arresting you for being too good in bed"
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charges due to lack of evidence.
I got arrested the other day after police found me covering a boy with melted sugar
I was charged with child molassation
Two guys were just arrested.
I just saw on the news that two guys have been arrested in the city centre. One was drinking battery fluid and the other was chewing fireworks. One of them was charged but the other was let off.
The Invisible Man has a warrant out for his arrest.
The charge is "Failure To Appear".
I got arrested buying E-Cigs for minors...
They charged me with statutory vape.
A man is arrested for killing a condor
A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."
I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge
He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun
The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.
A man was arrested after running a red light and hitting a Chinese food delivery car.
He is charged with careless driving and wonton destruction.
The US government has resorted to jailing political dissidents using fake accusations
Reports say they were arrested on Trump'ed up charges.
My girlfriend dressed up as a cop, and told me she would arrest me for being great in bed.
Unfortunately, all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
A man was arrested for stealing while standing on the shoulders of two vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
I got arrested for robbing a prosthetic store.
I decided to fight the charges. The way I see it, they don't have a leg to stand on.
The other day I was arrested for m**... on a plane..
They charged me with **highjacking**...
A child was sent to jail for staying up past his bedtime
He got charged with resisting arrest.
A Texas Biologist
A Texas biologist, who discovered that the life of a porpoise could be prolonged indefinitely if it were fed a steady diet of seagulls, has been arrested at the Louisiana border. He faces charges of transporting gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.
A proton, electron and a neuton get into a bar fight.
The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.
An edited version of a joke that's been already posted.
A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.
The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, why did you only arrest the proton?
To which one of the officers replied, well you see, the electron kept running around the proton like a madman, so we couldn't know its exact location. And no one can press charges on the neutron.
Once arrested a guy with a gun made of gelatin
Charged him with carrying a congealed weapon
I heard two crows got arrested
The charge was attempted m**...
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
Teacher arrested on airplane after bag was searched
A protractor, a ruler, a calculator, and a book of graph paper. He was charged with possessing implements of math instruction
Hey I heard the energizer bunny got arrested!
He got charged with battery
Obi-Wan Kenobi was arrested last night
He's being charged with Grievous b**... Harm
A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday.
And spent the night in a dry cell.
My neighbour was arrested for killing a black man.
He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works.
They charged one, and let the other off.
I heard a double amputee got arrested on weapons charges
They must've gotten the wrong guy, he's definitely unarmed
My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!!
Man, that sentence was way too long.
My friend was arrested for beating an unarmed black man to death
He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
Did you hear about the crow who got arrested for trying to start a social club?
He was charged with attempted m**...... I'll see myself out
Karen
Police arrested two Karens yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
The person who caused the Tour de France c**... should be arrested and charged with genocide.
She tried to take out an entire race.
I just found out that the Energizer Bunny got arrested!
He was charged with battery.
There was a guy whose s**... f**... was being harshly sentenced in court, so he committed a crime and was arrested and went to court.
The Judge let him go with no charges, said he's not getting off that easy.
A old woman was arrested on terrorism charges today
A elderly woman was arrested on terrorism charges at Heathrow airport today.
She had tried to bring a bomb onto a plane with her.
When questioned as to why she did such a thing she said she was deathly afraid of her plane being blown up by a t**... and thought the chances of two bombs being on one plane where astronomical.
My math teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a calculator, and a ruler!
The FBI charged her with weapons of math instruction.
They really threw the book at her…
Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny was arrested last week?
Yeah it's crazy. He was charged with battery.
My GF dressed up as a policewoman and arrested me of being good in bed.
After two minutes all charges were dropped
Breaking News
At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck t**... into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
t**...
At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.