The Best 35 Arrested Assaulting Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arrested Assaulting jokes. There are some arrested assaulting jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arrested assaulting puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Arrested Assaulting Jokes and Puns

I punched a white man in the face and was arrested for assault..

The next day when I got out, I punched a black man in the face and was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

The other day I punched a white dude and got arrested for assault,

Today I punched a black guy and got arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Why did Sodium Chloride get arrested?

Assault.

Social experiment…

I punched a white guy and got arrested for assault. When they let me out I punched a black guy and got arrested… for impersonating a police officer.

Ron Jeremy was arrested for sexual assault

Because Ron Jeremy is 67 years old, Prosecutors are worried the evidence won't stand up in court.
Further, Ron Jeremy is entitled to a jury of his peers. Prosecutors are afraid it will be a hung jury.


What happens when you smack Dwayne Johnson's butt?

You get arrested for sexual assault. What did you think was going to happen?

Being white can be hard...

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

A cop walks into a bar

Then places it under arrest for assaulting an officer

Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane?

He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.

Did you hear about the man who broke a 14 year old piano?

He got arrested for assaulting A minor.

What did the Duracell Bunny get arrested for?

Assault and battery

You can explore arrested assaulting reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arrested assaulting dad jokes. There are also arrested assaulting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My dad just got arrested for assaulting a minor..

Which is bullshit, he didn't even work in the mines!

I was arrested for assault with a chicken.

The cops suspected foul play.

A slug was assaulted by a snail...

...and the snail was arrested and brought to trial.

At the trial the judge said, "OK, slug, tell the court what happened."

The slug said, "I don't know, your honor...everything happened so fast."

Did you hear about the guitar player who was arrested for sexual assault?

He was fingering A Minor......

I killed a slug last night...

Got arrested for assault.

The man who stole my car was arrested for sexual assault

He was jacking my car

A man got arrested for assaulting someone with a defibrillator.

The victim said that he was gonna press charges.

Chumlee was arrested for sexual assault, drugs, and guns.

Do you think Rick will go to the court and haggle down his sentence?


Me and my girlfriend go really well together. First off, we've both been arrested.

Her for aggravated assault and me for aggravated apepper

Supa Hot Fire was recently arrested on charges of sexual assault.

But he's not a rapist.

I got arrested for sexually assaulting my teacher

I was homeschooled

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on

What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon

What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater

What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped

What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest

What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

Got hit by a loaf of bread today.

The cops arrested the guy for assault with a breadly weapon

I hate the police

The other day I got arrested for beating up a white guy... got charged for assault.
Yesterday I beat up a black guy... got charged for impersonating an officer.

A man was arrested today after he beat a woman half to death with a bag of chips

Police are calling it assault and vinegar.

Why was the pianist arrested?

He was assaulting A Minor.

Sodium chloride and sulphuric acid were arrested...

They were charged with assault and battery

Did you hear about the power source that was arrested for assault?

It was charged with battery.


I was surprised when Kevin Spacey was arrested for assault

He's hardly your usual suspect.

What time is it when the clock hits 13?

Time for the clock to get arrested for assault

Did you hear about the electric eel that got sent to jail?

He was arrested for assault and BATTERY.

A 92 year old man was arrested for sexually assaulting a young woman.

He was charged for assault with a dead weapon.

A detective was interviewing the victim of an assault.

The victim described the assailant as a leather box with a handle on it. The culprit was arrested 30 minutes later.

It was a brief case.


Why was the angry anti-feminist blogger arrested?

He was charged with aggravated textual assault.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arrested assaulting jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arrested assaulting piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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