The Best 16 Arrangements Jokes

Following is our collection of Arrangements jokes which are very funny. There are some arrangements arrange jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arrangements bereave puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Arrangements Jokes and Puns

Making the arrangements for my wife's funeral is tough

She keeps asking what I'm doing

A husband was in big trouble...

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.

When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.

The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

How do you feel about sex?

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'

Relaxing location

While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. You'll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them.

Dad wasn't sold: Unless you're including a periscope with my casket, I don't know how I'm going to enjoy it.


An elderly couple are making their funeral arrangements.

They get to choose what is engraved on each other's headstones.
Husband says, "Here lies Karen. Quiet at last"
Wife says, "Here lies Kevin, stiff at last"

What do you call a dating service connecting young men with mature women?

Oedipal Arrangements

Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements.

They may cremate, they Mayberry

Have you heard about the Mother and Son themed Kama Sutra?

It's called "Oediple Arrangements."

Captain Blackbeard's new recruits

Three men are new recruits on captain Blackbeard's ship. They each get to ask 1 question before they start work. The first two ask about sleeping arrangements and food, only to have captain Blackbeard yell back at them out of frustration. The third man asks "Why is the steering wheel attached to your pants?"

"Argh, it drives me nuts!"

What do you call a business that sends MILFs to your house?

Oedipal Arrangements

You can explore arrangements facilities reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arrangements placement dad jokes. There are also arrangements puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I met with my lawyer to discuss my will...

During the meeting he asked me about funeral arrangements. I told him I was thinking of having an open casket funeral. Remains to be seen.

Not PC anymore, but it made my grandfather laugh so I'm sharing it.

Two gay men went to a funeral director to make their final arrangements. "We want to be cremated and have our ashes mixed together." said the men.
The funeral director said "Well we have a fine selection of...umm."
"Urns?" asked the men
"No, fruit jars." said the funeral director.

I made funeral arrangements for my friend who was a barista.

First stop is the creamertorium.

Apple watch

Apple watch features

2018 : ECG
2019 : Angioplasty
2020 : Bypass Surgery
2021: Funeral arrangements

#AppleEvent⁠ ⁠

What do you call a company that delivers delicious fruit baskets and also has sex with your mom?

Oedipal Arrangements

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arrangements commission jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arrangements rents piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes