The Best 24 Arranged Marriage Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arranged Marriage jokes. There are some arranged marriage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arranged marriage puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Arranged Marriage Jokes and Puns

An engaged man asked his father for advice for a long and happy marriage...

Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?

"That's easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions. "

Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what's a big decision, and what's a little decision?

"Oh, there hasn't been any big decisions yet."

How do you feel about sex?

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'

My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess

So I arranged her marriage with Philip VI of Valois to strengthen the alliance with France.

A British man and an Indian man were talking about arranged marriage.

English man: How could you marry a woman
before knowing her?

Indian man: How could you marry a woman
AFTER knowing her?

What do you call a surprise party in India?

Arranged marriage

p.s. I'm an Indian living in India.


Why don't jews have arranged marriage?

They have no 'forced kin'.

I'm so sorry

In a British bar,

a discussion about arranged marriages took place as follows:

English gentleman: How could you marry a woman before knowing her?

Indian man: How could you marry a woman AFTER knowing her?

End of the discussion.

What do you call an arranged marriage between two apathetic communists?

The so be it union.

What do you call an arranged marriage between two communists who don't like each other?

A so-be-it union.

Indian parents don't usually throw surprise parties for their kids...

But when they do, it's called an ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

What fruit has an arranged marriage?

A cantaloupe

You can explore arranged marriage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arranged marriage dad jokes. There are also arranged marriage puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do they call divorce in India?

Re-arranged marriage

Someone asked an Indian girl how she got married?

"I used to work at a pharmacy and my would-be husband came and asked for an XXXXXXL condom.

It was only after the arranged marriage I found out that he has a stutter."

I said to my son, "You will be forced into an arranged marriage."

He said no. I replied with, "It is Bill Gates' daughter in law." He said yes.

I called up Bill Gates and said, "Your daughter will marry my son." He said no. I replied with "I am the CEO of the World Bank." He said yes

I called up the world bank and said, "Make me CEO." They said no. I replied with, "Bill Gates is my brother-in-law." They said yes.

Why are melons stuck in arranged marriages?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why do Jews not support arranged marriages?

Because the Torah doesn't allow "force kin".

Why did the Composer marry the Musician?

It was an arranged marriage.

I always wonder why an arranged marriage isn't called an arraigned marriage...

Talk about a life sentence

You know you're an Indian redneck when you have an arranged marriage....

to your cousin.


A proposal was sent for arranged marriage.

The girl's parents said "we don't like your son."

Guy's parents: we don't like him either, but what can we do?

What's the best way to stop an Indian "arranged marriage"

Shuffle the photos around

I can't marry my girlfriend because I have an arranged marriage coming up

It was a previously scheduled engagement.

Did you know Jesus actually got married after he was resurrected and ascended into heaven?

His dad surprised him with an arranged marriage by having Marry Magdalene crucified as well. It was one of those *nail order brides*.

A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arranged marriage jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arranged marriage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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