The Best 39 Arr Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arr jokes. There are some arr dur jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arr fie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Arr Jokes and Puns

If pirates say "Arr", What do software pirates say?


A pirate walks in a bar...

A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says "whats with that" the Pirate says "ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"

So a pirate has been on a ship for 6 months...

but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."

Yokel Logic

Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.

He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'

The man, slightly stunned, says, 'I study Mathematics, Physics and Logic'

The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?'

The Student replies, 'I could teach you it.'

'Okay then.'

'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?'


'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have... a yard, to keep your tractor in?'


'So in turn, surely you have a house next to that yard?'

'Wow, incredible, go on!'

'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?'

'Moi god...'

'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!'

'Oh lord...' says the farmer. 'How did you know all that?'

'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave.

The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings.

''Ere, Oi've got somethin' to show ya! It's called 'Logic'', he shouts.

'Alroight then', says the friend

'So, do you have a tract'r?'


'Then you're Gay!'

The story of the pirate.

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that there is the steering wheel to a ship on the front of his pants. So the bartender, perplexed, says to him "you know that there's a steering wheel on your crotch, right?" and the pirate says "Arr! Its drivin' me nuts!"

What's a pirate's favourite letter?

You may think it's arr, but they are truly in love with the sea!

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck between his legs.

Bartender: What's with the steering wheel?

Pirate: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bartender sees this and asks him why.

The pirate replies, "Arr, I've got a bounty on me head!"

A pirate walks into a bar...

With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender notices and says "sir, are you aware you have a steering wheel down your pants?" To which the pirate replies "Arr, it's driving me nuts."

To err is human...

To arr is pirate

A pirate has a steering wheel attached to his crotch.

As he walks down the street someone notices and asks "Doesn't that hurt?"

The pirate replies, "Arr, it drives me nuts."

You can explore arr arrgh reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arr argh dad jokes. There are also arr puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A pirate walks into a bar

with a steering wheel hanging from the front of his belt. The bar tender said, "Hey buddy, you have a steering wheel tied to your pants". To which the pirate replied, "Arr, I know. It's drivin' me nuts!"

A pirate walks into his favorite bar with a roll of paper towels on his head

The bartender says " What's with the paper towels Skipper? "

The pirate says " Arr, there be a bounty on me head "

What did the proud pirate dad say after seeing his son torch an enemy ship?

Arr, son.

A broken English speaker told a joke to a boy.

The broken English speaker, a man, told the boy a joke about a sword-fighting pirate that desperately hated the wind.

However, the boy, being so young, missed the joke.

No, no, no, said the man. Arr slash whoosh.

So a pirate walks into a bar..

and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender looks at him and says, "Did you know that there's a steering wheel coming out of your crotch?" The pirate nods and says, "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arr.

Have you heard of the famous pirate who peed on underage girls?

His name was Arr Kelly

What does a pirate do after a long days work?

What does a pirate do after a long days work?

He has some Arr and Arr!

What is a Soviet pirate's favorite ship?

The USS Arr.

So a pirate walks into a bar,

he has a steering wheel on his crotch.
The bartender goes: "What are you doing with that thing?"
The pirate responds: "Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."

What did the pirate say to his pyromaniac son?

Arr! Son!

A couple pirate jokes

(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?


You: No yee dumbass, it's the coast guard.

You:What's a pirates favorite letter?


You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)

You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?


You: No. It's Long John Silver's.

A father decides to commit a crime

But before he can do it he must get a disguise, so he heads on down to a halloween shop and buys a pirate disguise.
Now that he has a disguise he went to go commit the crime. After the crime was done he escaped home, but as he was removing said disguise his son walked in
Father you look like he person who committed a crime today, did you? And what crime did you commit?

Arr son

What does a pirate tell his dog before going away on a long journey?

Arr! Prepare to be boarded!

A Pirate captain comes out as gay to his crew.

The next day he pulls everyone together for a meeting while they're docked at port, during the meeting he introduces a young man to the crew and says "Arr, this be me first mate."

How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?

Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.

Do you know how the store Menards got its name?

A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, "Arr! Me-nards!"

Why are pirates so good in bed?

We just Arr!

A Pirate tried starting a rap career in Compton, but his songs were not well received.

He couldn't get rid of the habit of using the hard arr

You know your kid's going to be a pirate when he grows up

if you hear him say to his friend "I know you Arr! But what am aye?"


Hitler sits by a cliff. Calls a jew over and tells him to extend his arms in forward, and then throws him over. He then calls another jew and tells him to extend his arms upward, and again he throws him off the cliff. Then a guard asks him: "Hitlar, vat arr yu duing?" and Hitler says: "I'm playing Tetris"

The Trump Foundation has dissolved and employees are going their separate ways...

Some arr going to Riker's and others are going to San Quinton.

What did the pirate captain say to his boy when he burned down his ship?

Arr, son.

A pirate walks in a bar with his ships wheel down his pants.

The Bartender says: "Hey mate, do you know you have a wheel down your pants?"

The pirate says: "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"

How do EU pirates measure national output?


Saw a pirate with a giant steering wheeling attached to his crotch.

Asked him if he was ok. He said "Arr, it's driven me nuts!"

Why do pirates say "Arr"?

Because they'd sound silly if they said "Q" and if they said "A" they'd sound Canadian

What did the pirate say when he fell backwards?

Arr, me booty!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arr yeh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arr helm piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes