arr Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious arr puns

If pirates say "Arr", What do software pirates say?



A pirate walks in a bar...

A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says "whats with that" the Pirate says "ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"


So a pirate has been on a ship for 6 months...

but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."


The story of the pirate.

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that there is the steering wheel to a ship on the front of his pants. So the bartender, perplexed, says to him "you know that there's a steering wheel on your crotch, right?" and the pirate says "Arr! Its drivin' me nuts!"


What's a pirate's favourite letter?

You may think it's arr, but they are truly in love with the sea!


Yokel Logic

Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.

He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'

The man, slightly stunned, says, 'I study Mathematics, Physics and Logic'

The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?'

The Student replies, 'I could teach you it.'

'Okay then.'

'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?'


'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have... a yard, to keep your tractor in?'


'So in turn, surely you have a house next to that yard?'

'Wow, incredible, go on!'

'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?'

'Moi god...'

'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!'

'Oh lord...' says the farmer. 'How did you know all that?'

'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave.

The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings.

''Ere, Oi've got somethin' to show ya! It's called 'Logic'', he shouts.

'Alroight then', says the friend

'So, do you have a tract'r?'


'Then you're Gay!'


A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck between his legs.

Bartender: What's with the steering wheel?

Pirate: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!


A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bartender sees this and asks him why.

The pirate replies, "Arr, I've got a bounty on me head!"


A pirate walks into a bar...

With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender notices and says "sir, are you aware you have a steering wheel down your pants?" To which the pirate replies "Arr, it's driving me nuts."


To err is human...

To arr is pirate


A pirate walks into a bar

with a steering wheel hanging from the front of his belt. The bar tender said, "Hey buddy, you have a steering wheel tied to your pants". To which the pirate replied, "Arr, I know. It's drivin' me nuts!"


A pirate has a steering wheel attached to his crotch.

As he walks down the street someone notices and asks "Doesn't that hurt?"

The pirate replies, "Arr, it drives me nuts."


What did the proud pirate dad say after seeing his son torch an enemy ship?

Arr, son.


So a pirate walks into a bar..

and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender looks at him and says, "Did you know that there's a steering wheel coming out of your crotch?" The pirate nods and says, "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"


[Long] A man notices a pirate and asks him, Excuse me sir, but why do you have a hook hand?

The pirate says, Arr, yes, me hook hand. A sword cut me right below the elbow.

Well, what about your peg leg? Says the man

Arrr, me peg leg. A cannonball shot me right below the kneecap.

Well, what about your patch eye?

Arrr, me patch eye, I was standing on the poop deck and a seagull pooped in me eye!

A seagull pooped in your eye? That can't take an eye out.

Arrr, but you've got to remember, it was the first day with the hook.


Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arr.


Have you heard of the famous pirate who peed on underage girls?

His name was Arr Kelly


What does a pirate do after a long days work?

What does a pirate do after a long days work?

He has some Arr and Arr!


So a pirate walks into a bar,

he has a steering wheel on his crotch.
The bartender goes: "What are you doing with that thing?"
The pirate responds: "Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."


A pirate walks into a bar...

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his penis

The bartender points it out. The pirate responds by saying "Arr! It's driving me nuts!"


What is a Soviet pirate's favorite ship?

The USS Arr.


What did the pirate say to his pyromaniac son?

Arr! Son!


An old pirate walks into a bar...

He had the whole package: pegleg, hook for hand and an eyepatch.
He gets some stares from the other guests as he takes his seat by the bar.
Eventually one of the guests dares to ask: "how did you lose your leg?"
"Arr I only fell overboard one time in me whole pirate career and that's when a shark bit me leg off." The pirate replies.
The guest keeps asking on and learns that he lost his hand in a swordfight.
And ofcourse finally he asks the pirate how he lost his eye.
To wich the pirate replies: "A seagull shat in it."
Unsurprisingly this answer was met with a blank stare and ackward silence.
"Arr well" said the pirate eventually, "It was the same day I just got the hook..."


How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?

Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.


A Pirate captain comes out as gay to his crew.

The next day he pulls everyone together for a meeting while they're docked at port, during the meeting he introduces a young man to the crew and says "Arr, this be me first mate."


A pirate walks into a bar. He sits down to reveal he has a sheath on his hook hand.

He turns to the man sitting next to him and says, "Arr, I be bettin you I can eat me own hook." The man, thinking this is just some crazy pirate man, takes the bet. The pirate then removes to sheath from his hook to reveal that it's made entirely of chocolate. The pirate eats the hook and says "Arr, I guess you should have
*never judged a hook by its cover*."

Then, as he's leaving the bar, the pirate gets hit by a bus, so you could say *it's better to be safe than scurvy*.


What's a pirate's favourite letter?

A P. Because it's like an ARR, but it's missing a leg.


A couple pirate jokes

(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?


You: No yee dumbass, it's the coast guard.

You:What's a pirates favorite letter?


You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)

You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?


You: No. It's Long John Silver's.


Why are pirates so good in bed?

We just Arr!


You know your kid's going to be a pirate when he grows up

if you hear him say to his friend "I know you Arr! But what am aye?"


A Pirate tried starting a rap career in Compton, but his songs were not well received.

He couldn't get rid of the habit of using the hard arr


On the roof of a very tall building are four men

One is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for arr my peopre" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "thees ees for todos of mi peopleo" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.


Do you know how the store Menards got its name?

A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, "Arr! Me-nards!"



Hitler sits by a cliff. Calls a jew over and tells him to extend his arms in forward, and then throws him over. He then calls another jew and tells him to extend his arms upward, and again he throws him off the cliff. Then a guard asks him: "Hitlar, vat arr yu duing?" and Hitler says: "I'm playing Tetris"


One pirate kicks a second pirate in the knee...

The second pirate says "Arr!! Me knee!" (meanie)


What are the most funny Arr jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Arr? Well, here are the best Arr dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Arr pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes