Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Arnold Jokes with Friends.
My wife has kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Scharzenegger impressions. But don't worry
I'll return.
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7?
I still love vista, baby
A riddle for the day
A riddle for the day
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )
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The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!
Arnold Scwharzanegger gets a call from his agent about a feature length film based around classical music. When asked which character he'd most like to play,
'I'll be Bach'.
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to the historical costume party?
"I'll be Bach"
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'
Arnold Schwarzenegger should open a pest control business.
He's already an ex-terminator.
Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday
I still love Easter, Baby.
Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?
Arnold Schwarzeneighbor
(OC)
They're making a movie about classical music composers...
They're making a movie about classical music composers. In the middle of the auditions, Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in and simply declared, "I'll be Bach."
You can explore arnold fritz reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arnold davis dad jokes. There are also arnold puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If Arnold Schwarzenegger were a pianist..
He'd be Bach.
If Arnold Schwarzenegger was a composer which would he be?
He'd be Bach
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween?
"You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."
THE GOVINATOR
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest.
George W. Bush challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a push-up contest. Schwarzenegger did 910 push-ups. Bush won because he did 911.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10
Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10.
His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'
So there's this school play...
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy?
A Cameron Diaz
Arnold Schwarzenegger just announced he's giving up the limelight to go back to his first love, pest control.
He's an ex-terminator now.
I asked Arnold Schwarzenegger why he hasnt upgraded his computer to Windows 10..
He said "I still love Vista baby!"
Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?
They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7..
His response was "I still love Vista, baby!"
One positive of Arnold Palmer's passing...
He's six under for the first time in years...
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical musician theme Halloween party?
I'll be Bach.
I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it?
Last Names
Arnold Schwarzenegger has made a pretty good career for himself in pest control...
They say he's a great ex-terminator
Arnold Schwarzenegger opens his own shopping mall. A customer left her purse on the counter after a purchase. Seeing the customer is nearing the exit of the mall, Arnold handed the purse to the nearest cashier.
"GET TO THE SHOPPER, NOW!"
What is Arnold Schwarzenegger now that he's not an actor?
An exterminator
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Donald Trump's is short, and Madonna doesn't have one. What is it?
A last name
When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.
He was known as the pasta barista baby.
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the start of a game of chess?
I'll be black
Arnold Schwarzenegger joined an Easter egg hunt but didn't find any eggs. His secretary asks "Does this mean you hate Easter now?"
He shakes his head and responds:
"I still love Easter baby."
I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg
so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.'
My wife left me because I do a terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But don't worry...
I'll return.
I was kicked out of the house for my bad impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger. But that didn't faze me. As I left, I told 'em...
"I'll be returning"
Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.
Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."
A joke from work
Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.
Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.
Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.
Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."
Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are hanging out
Danny suggests they do some musical reenactment. Arnold, being the nice guy that he is agrees and let's Danny choose who he will be. Danny chooses Mozart. As for Arnold, he'll be Bach
In honor of Father's day, a dad joke
There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
He'll be Bach
After retiring from show business, Arnold Schwarzenegger now works in pest control.
He's the ex-Terminator.
"Money doesn't make you happy ...
... I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million."
\-- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger is retiring from doing films.
He already has a new gig in mind. He wants to be an exterminator.
A bunch of actors were getting ready to be in a movie about famous singers and they were deciding who's gonna be who
RDJ said I'll be Beethoven and Hugh Jackman said I'll be Freddie Mercury and then everyone turned to Arnold Schwarzenegger said I'll be Bach
Co worker told me this one
Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing making a movie about great composers.
Sean Connery says Only if I get to be Mozart
Stallone says Then I'll be Beethoven
Arnold says I'll be Bach
Arnold Schwarzenegger now works in an insecticide bussiness.
He's an ex-terminator.
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when asked about not upgrading to Windows 10 ?
"I still love Vista, baby".
Arnold Schwarzeneggar never has mice, rats or cockroaches in his house
He is an ex Terminator
A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.
Tom Cruise says I'll play the part of Mozart
Liam Neeson says I'll make a great Beethoven
Arnold Schwarzenegger says I'll be Bach
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians
.
One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."
Another says, "I'll be Mozart."
-
In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."
A man walks into a bar and approaches an attractive young woman...
He starts to introduce himself before the woman cuts him off.
"Before you talk to me I want you to agree to follow Schwarzenegger's rule." She says.
The man asks, "What's Schwarzenegger's rule?" To which the woman responds:
"If you spoke to Arnold Schwarzenegger the way some men speak to women you'd get your a**... kicked, so don't say anything to me that you wouldn't say to him."
The man pauses for a moment before proudly proclaiming, "you've got a NICE chest."
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:
The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his Tomato seeds after watering them for the first time?
You have been germinated.
My girlfriend kicked me out of the apartment tonight.... she told me it was because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.
So I said, "I shall return."
I asked Arnold Schwarzenegger where the toilet paper was
He said Aisle B, back.
Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger kill the mouse?
He's an ex-Terminator
What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite pick-up line?
Live with me if you want to come.
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."
My friend and I bumped into Arnold Schwarzenegger. As fans we asked a lot of questions and ended up asking if he's going to upgrade to Windows 11...
He said, "I still love Vista, baby!"
8 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger was sitting in music class. The teacher said that each student would play the role of a famous composer.
One student said "I'll be Beethoven".
Another said "I'll be Mozart".
Yet another student said "I'll be Tchaikovsky".
And Arnold said "I'll be Bach".
My wife kicked me out of the house for my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger references, but don't worry...
I'll return
I asked the toy store sales assistant if they had any Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures in store...
She replied "Aisle B, back".
My girlfriend says my Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions is horrible.
That's when I got upset and right before I walked out of the room, I turned to her with his impression and said.
I'll be returning.
If Arnold Schwarzenegger's tombstone doesn't say "I'll be back..."
Someone has made a grave mistake.
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today that he'll be starring in a new movie about a 18th century composer
When asked about it it, Mr Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach"
What's the difference between Benedict Arnold and Donald Trump?
Benedict Arnold once fought for America.
A large movie studio is making a movie about famous musical composers played by very muscular actors. They had all of the actors choose who they wanted to be.
Dwayne Johnson chose Mozart.
Lou Ferrigno wanted Beethoven.
When asked who he wanted to play, Arnold Schwarzenegger said, I'll be Bach.
I asked the toy store manager where's the Arnold Schwarzenegger doll
He said "Aisle B Back"
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but never uses. Donald Trump has one and uses it. What is it?
A surname/last name
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are talking about making a new film together.
Sly: I wanna show the world that we're more than just action movie stars. I wanna make a movie about classical music and classical composers. I know you guys love that stuff too. What do you think? Will you help me make a movie about it and show the world how cultured we are?
Bruce: I could play Beethoven. I've always wanted to play a tortured genius
Sly: You would be great. And I'll be Tchaikovsky. What about you Arnie?
Arnie: I'll be Bach
My wife is leaving me for a being an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator. However...
...I knocked up the maid.
Arnold Schwarzenegger no longer kills people and now only kills bugs.
He's an exterminator
