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Army Knock Knock Jokes

6 army knock knock jokes and hilarious army knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about army knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Silly & Ridiculous Army Knock Knock Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What is a good army knock knock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A man in the army walks up to the General's office...

A man in the army walks up to the General's office and knocks. The General says "Come in". The man enters the office, salutes at the General, and says "Sir, I'd like you to demote me from my rank, all the soldiers make fun of me!"
"Sorry, but demotion is not something we carry out in the army, Major Failure"

The conscript receives a summons to the army

He is afraid, so he says to his friend:
\- Knock out all my teeth, then they won't take me into the army!
A friend knocks out his teeth, as he asks.
The next day they meet again.
A friend asks him:
\- How are you?
The conscript replies, lisping terribly:
\- Everything is great! They didn't take me, the doctor said I have flat feet!

A teacher, a nurse, and an Army man were in a hot air balloon.

The balloon was too heavy so each of them dropped something off it. The teacher dropped an apple, the nurse dropped her medical bag, and the Army man drops a grenade. After they land, they go for a walk. They come across a little girl who's crying. They ask her what's wrong and she says an apple fell out of the sky and knocked out her new puppy. Later they come across a little boy who is also crying. They ask him what's wrong and he says a bag fell from the sky and knocked out his new kitten. Then they come across a little girl who's laughing really hard. They ask her what's so funny and she says "I f**... and the building behind me blew up!"

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Army.
Army who?
Army and you still friends?

The colonel rides again...

There was a knock on the door and the colonel opened it to see a young woman standing there. I don't know if you remember me colonel ... . Course I do gel, you're from the village, Jenkins' daughter, went off to university, well done, what can I do for you ? Well, I'm in my last year now, studying psychology you know, and I'm doing a paper on s**... in pensioners and I wondered if I could ask you some personal questions ? Course you can gel, nothing shocks me, old army type and all, ask away . Excellent, may I ask you when you last made love ? Mmmmm .. that would be 1945 . Oh colonel you have shocked ME, such a long time ago ! Don't see why gel, it's only 2100 now !

It's an Army Captain's first day as Company Commander.....

He is in his new office, unpacking his stuff and setting things up, there is a knock on the door. The new Captain wants to impress his new soldiers, so he sits down, picks up the phone, and says "Come in."
A private enters the room, the Captain holds up his finger and starts talking "Ok General, thanks for the invitation to dinner at your house. I'm excited to be here and thanks again for hand picking me to Command this unit. See you Friday night. bye."
He hangs up and looks at the private and says "Hey there, what can I do for you?"
The private says "Good morning Sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone. "


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