The Best 45 Armstrong Jokes

Following is our collection of Armstrong jokes which are very funny. There are some armstrong leroy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these armstrong arpaio puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong....

The world is running out of moonwalkers

Lance Armstrong flew to NY yesterday to fight the
allegations of doping.

... would have been more convincing if he'd taken a plane, though.

Lance Armstrong finally admitted to doping... least he had the ball to admit it.

Did you hear Lance Armstrong lied

The ball of some people

I met Lance Armstrong after a party

Me: So, Lance, how was the party?
Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball.

Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling?

Of course he does! He has a ball!

Funny Lance Armstrong Joke

I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut...
God that was horrible....

Did you hear about Lance Armstrong having a threesome?

He was killing two birds with one stone

Top Armstrong Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore armstrong gibson reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean armstrong chariot dad jokes. There are also armstrong puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

How does Neil Armstrong say he is sorry?

He Apollogizes.

I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but

Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.

What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common?

They only have one good ball.

Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix?

There's only one nut in the bag.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?


Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."

New Year's Eve probably sucks for Lance Armstrong...

He can't enjoy watching the ball drop.

I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but...

I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.

Neil Armstrong would go to parties, tell anecdotes about when he was on the moon, then laugh hysterically at his story, though no one else would understand what was so funny...

So he'd add 'well I guess you had to be there.'

Lance Armstrong

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike

I miss having Lance Armstrong at the Olympics

He was dope.

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

Why did Billie Joe Armstrong smell so nice whilst walking down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams?

He wore cologne, he wore cologne.

If you want to lose weight, start the Lance Armstrong diet

Just have one nut

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong walked across the moon. Micheal Jackson touches little boys

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had sex with kids.

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon.

When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy up stock in??


When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

What did Neil Armstrong do after getting caught harrassing a woman?

He apollogised

Lance Armstrong decided to fly to France to fight against the doping allegations against him.

It would have been more convincing if he had taken a plane.

Neil arms weak

Neil joins gym
Neil does chin ups
Neil Armstrong

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

A Uniball

October is finally here...

Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

What's the difference between IPA and EPO?

I don't know if Lance Armstrong likes IPAs.

What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?

I guess you had to be there

America cheated going to the moon

Did you know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin cheated going to the moon?

They took a buzz cut.

When neil Armstrong landed on the moon and said "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"

What he really said was..." there's no way a cow can jump over this!"

Do you know who had the second step on the moon ? It was


He had two legs.

Why did Neil took a small step

Because he was Armstrong not legstrong

Dope, or no dope, Lance Armstrong was still a great athlete.

Winning the tour is no easy feat. Even with the drugs, he worked his ball off to go to where he is today!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the armstrong adams jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working armstrong walsh piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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