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Armstrong Jokes

92 armstrong jokes and hilarious armstrong puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about armstrong that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Armstrong Short Jokes

Short armstrong jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The armstrong humour may include short moon jokes also.

  1. What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes? I guess you had to be there.
  2. Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
  3. Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"
  4. What did the medieval knight say when he got caught doping? I was just getting my Lance Armstrong.
  5. I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but... I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.
  6. Lance Armstrong flew to NY yesterday to fight the
    allegations of doping.
    ... would have been more convincing if he'd taken a plane, though.
  7. Dope, or no dope, Lance Armstrong was still a great athlete. Winning the tour is no easy feat. Even with the drugs, he worked his ball off to go to where he is today!
  8. I met Lance Armstrong after a party Me: So, Lance, how was the party?
    Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball.
  9. Why did Billie Joe Armstrong smell so nice whilst walking down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams? He wore cologne, he wore cologne.
  10. I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.

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Armstrong One Liners

Which armstrong one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with armstrong? I can suggest the ones about skies and wan.

  1. What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball.
  2. Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling? Of course he does! He has a ball!
  3. If you want to lose weight, start the Lance Armstrong diet Just have one nut
  4. Did you hear Lance Armstrong lied The ball of some people
  5. What happened after Lance Armstrong was caught doping? He took his ball and went home.
  6. Neil arms weak Neil joins gym
    Neil does chin ups
    Neil Armstrong
  7. What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uni-ball
  8. What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it? Ambu-Lance Armstrong
  9. Why was Lance Armstrong in so many commercials? Because he was good at Peddling things.
  10. What do you call An Astronaut that goes to the gym ? Neil *ArmStrong*
  11. Why did Neil took a small step Because he was Armstrong not legstrong
  12. Lance Armstrong finally admitted to doping... ...at least he had the ball to admit it.
  13. Do you know who had the second step on the moon ? It was NEIL ARMSTRONG
    He had two legs.
  14. What did Neil Armstrong do after getting caught harrassing a woman? He apollogised
  15. What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy up stock in?? Uniball

Neil Armstrong Jokes

Here is a list of funny neil armstrong jokes and even better neil armstrong puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Neil Armstrong used to enjoy telling unfunny jokes about the moon.
    When nobody laughed he paused and said, "I guess you had to be there."
  • What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes? I guess you had to be there
  • What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely? An unfortu-naut...
    God that was horrible....
  • Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong are telling bad moon jokes at a party, and nobody is laughing. Buzz sighs, "I guess you had to be there"
  • What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston? The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.
  • What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong walked across the moon. Micheal Jackson touches little boys
  • First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong.... The world is running out of moonwalkers
  • First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong...
    God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
  • America cheated going to the moon Did you know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin cheated going to the moon?
    They took a buzz cut.
  • How does Neil Armstrong say he is sorry? He Apollogizes.

Armstrong Aldrin Jokes

Here is a list of funny armstrong aldrin jokes and even better armstrong aldrin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin? They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.
  • Who are your favorite actors of all time? Mine are Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin
  • Forty five years ago man landed on the Moon lądować We will never forget about the three heroes, Armstrong, Aldrin, and this third one.
  • What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did? *Apollo*gize.
Armstrong joke, What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did?

Armstrong joke, What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did?

Cheeky Armstrong Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about armstrong you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make armstrong pranks.

Yo mamma's so fat her baby picture was taken by Neil Armstrong.

Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.


He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

Neil Armstrong's only regret while he was alive was that he forgot to take a selfie on the moon.

RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "o**... s**...? o**... s**... you want? You'll get o**... s**... when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Funny Lance Armstrong Joke

I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.

Did you hear about Lance Armstrong having a t**...?

He was killing two birds with one stone

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix?

There's only one nut in the bag.

Lance Armstrong got laid last night.

He totally went ball deep.

Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."

New Year's Eve probably s**... for Lance Armstrong...

He can't enjoy watching the ball drop.

Neil Armstrong would go to parties, tell anecdotes about when he was on the moon, then laugh hysterically at his story, though no one else would understand what was so funny...

So he'd add 'well I guess you had to be there.'

Lance Armstrong

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike

I miss having Lance Armstrong at the Olympics

He was dope.

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and michael jackson had s**... with kids.

Where Did Lieutenant Paul Armstrong Go During The Bomb Strikes In WW2

Everywhere.

Since everyone knows he cheated, Lance Armstrong will only drink at home now.

He just can't handlebars anymore.

When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

Lance Armstrong decided to fly to France to fight against the doping allegations against him.

It would have been more convincing if he had taken a plane.

Nike names the first Kaepernick shoe...

The Kneel Armstrong - inscription on the sole (to be viewed while kneeling of course), that's one small kneel for man, one giant kneel for mankind .

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

A Uniball

October is finally here...

Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

What's the difference between IPA and EPO?

I don't know if Lance Armstrong likes IPAs.

Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin decided to team up with NASA to fake the moon landing together, but to make it look as realistic as possible, they urged NASA to film on location.

Compliments of Neil De Grasse Tyson

I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs....

when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.

Armstrong joke, What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?

jokes about armstrong