Cheeky Armstrong Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
RIP Neil Armstrong
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "o**... s**...? o**... s**... you want? You'll get o**... s**... when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?
The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.
First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong....
The world is running out of moonwalkers
Lance Armstrong flew to NY yesterday to fight the
allegations of doping.
... would have been more convincing if he'd taken a plane, though.
Lance Armstrong finally admitted to doping...
...at least he had the ball to admit it.
Did you hear Lance Armstrong lied
The ball of some people
I met Lance Armstrong after a party
Me: So, Lance, how was the party?
Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball.
Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling?
Of course he does! He has a ball!
Funny Lance Armstrong Joke
I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.
What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?
An unfortu-naut...
God that was horrible....
Did you hear about Lance Armstrong having a t**...?
He was killing two birds with one stone
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How does Neil Armstrong say he is sorry?
He Apollogizes.
I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but
Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.
What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common?
They only have one good ball.
Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix?
There's only one nut in the bag.
What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?
Uni-ball
Neil Armstrong
Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."
I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but...
I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.
Neil Armstrong would go to parties, tell anecdotes about when he was on the moon, then laugh hysterically at his story, though no one else would understand what was so funny...
So he'd add 'well I guess you had to be there.'
Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike
I miss having Lance Armstrong at the Olympics
He was dope.
Why did Billie Joe Armstrong smell so nice whilst walking down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams?
He wore cologne, he wore cologne.
If you want to lose weight, start the Lance Armstrong diet
Just have one nut
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked across the moon. Micheal Jackson touches little boys
Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?
Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had s**... with kids.
Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon.
When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy up stock in??
Uniball
When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...
I see trees of green, and red roses too.
What did Neil Armstrong do after getting caught harrassing a woman?
He apollogised
Lance Armstrong decided to fly to France to fight against the doping allegations against him.
It would have been more convincing if he had taken a plane.
Neil arms weak
Neil joins gym
Neil does chin ups
Neil Armstrong
October is finally here...
Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.
What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?
Ambu-Lance Armstrong
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
I guess you had to be there
America cheated going to the moon
Did you know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin cheated going to the moon?
They took a buzz cut.
Do you know who had the second step on the moon ? It was
NEIL ARMSTRONG
He had two legs.
Why did Neil took a small step
Because he was Armstrong not legstrong
Dope, or no dope, Lance Armstrong was still a great athlete.
Winning the tour is no easy feat. Even with the drugs, he worked his ball off to go to where he is today!
Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin decided to team up with NASA to fake the moon landing together, but to make it look as realistic as possible, they urged NASA to film on location.
Compliments of Neil De Grasse Tyson
What did the medieval knight say when he got caught doping?
I was just getting my Lance Armstrong.
Neil Armstrong used to enjoy telling unfunny jokes about the moon.
When nobody laughed he paused and said, "I guess you had to be there."
What do you call An Astronaut that goes to the gym ?
Neil *ArmStrong*
Why was Lance Armstrong in so many commercials?
Because he was good at Peddling things.
What happened after Lance Armstrong was caught doping?
He took his ball and went home.
I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs....
when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.
Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong are telling bad moon jokes at a party, and nobody is laughing.
Buzz sighs, "I guess you had to be there"
