Armstrong Jokes

Following is our collection of gibson humor and leroy one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Armstrong puns for adults, dirty chariot jokes or clean arpaio gags for kids.

There is an abundance of adams jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 43 funniest jokes on armstrong. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any walsh witze you can hear about armstrong.

The Best jokes about Armstrong

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon.

When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had sex with kids.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*

What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common?

They only have one good ball.

Lance Armstrong

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike


RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."

Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling?

Of course he does! He has a ball!

I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but...

I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.

Two Guys, The Summer, And The Confessional

A young man goes to confession with his friend on the first day of summer. When he enters the confessional, he says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned... I have been with a woman of poor moral fiber."

Priest: "That's sad to hear young man... I must ask... was it Jenny Armstrong?"
Young Man: "I cannot say father."
Priest: "Was it Sarah Smith?"
Young Man: "I will not say, father."
Priest: "It must have been Michelle Geller."
Young Man: "Father, I will not say."
Priest: "I admire your conviction, but you must atone. Don't return to service for two weeks, or until you have said 4 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Fathers."

The young man leaves and sees his friend on the way out. "What did you get?' his friend asks. He replies, "two weeks of summer vacation and three good leads."

Lance Armstrong flew to NY yesterday to fight the
allegations of doping.

... would have been more convincing if he'd taken a plane, though.


When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...

I see trees of green, and red roses too.

If you want to lose weight, start the Lance Armstrong diet

Just have one nut

Dope, or no dope, Lance Armstrong was still a great athlete.

Winning the tour is no easy feat. Even with the drugs, he worked his ball off to go to where he is today!

Why did Billie Joe Armstrong smell so nice whilst walking down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams?

He wore cologne, he wore cologne.

I met Lance Armstrong after a party

Me: So, Lance, how was the party?
Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball.

Did you hear about Lance Armstrong having a threesome?

He was killing two birds with one stone

Did you hear Lance Armstrong lied

The ball of some people

I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but

Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.


What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?

I guess you had to be there

Neil arms weak

Neil joins gym
Neil does chin ups
Neil Armstrong

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong decided to fly to France to fight against the doping allegations against him.

It would have been more convincing if he had taken a plane.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut...
God that was horrible....

Why did Neil took a small step

Because he was Armstrong not legstrong

Lance Armstrong finally admitted to doping...

...at least he had the ball to admit it.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong walked across the moon. Micheal Jackson touches little boys

I miss having Lance Armstrong at the Olympics

He was dope.

Do you know who had the second step on the moon ? It was

NEIL ARMSTRONG

He had two legs.

What did Neil Armstrong do after getting caught harrassing a woman?

He apollogised

Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix?

There's only one nut in the bag.

What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy up stock in??

Uniball

America cheated going to the moon

Did you know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin cheated going to the moon?

They took a buzz cut.

How does Neil Armstrong say he is sorry?

He Apollogizes.

First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong....

The world is running out of moonwalkers

Funny Lance Armstrong Joke

I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.

October is finally here...

Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

Neil Armstrong would go to parties, tell anecdotes about when he was on the moon, then laugh hysterically at his story, though no one else would understand what was so funny...

So he'd add 'well I guess you had to be there.'

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

New Year's Eve probably sucks for Lance Armstrong...

He can't enjoy watching the ball drop.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes