Armpits Jokes

Following is our collection of ballerina humor and genitals one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Armpits puns for adults, dirty fifi jokes or clean stinky gags for kids.

There is an abundance of deutsch jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes on armpits. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any hairiest witze you can hear about armpits.

The Best jokes about Armpits

A woman with hairy armpits enters a bar..

She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."

This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the bar is a ballerina? "

The drunkard shrugs and says, "Any woman that could lift her leg that high must be a ballerina."

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

This woman walks into a bar.

She has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits.
She sits down raises her arm and says,"Bartender I would like a drink."
Theres an old drunk sitting next to her.
Slurring he says,"Barkeep I would like to buy the ballerina a drink."
She accepts,drinks it,raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another.
The old man says,"Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants"
Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says,"Sir that nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?"
The old man answers ,"Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."

A German Tourist is on holiday and needed to buy some deoderant.

So he walks into a chemist and says "I vould like to buy ze deoderant."

Chemist says: "Ball or aerosol?"

Tourist: "No, I vant it for my armpits!"

Ever heard of an Irish bath?

An Irish bath is when you stand at the sink and just wash your armpits. Some people call it a Gypsy bath, or an Italian shower. A French bath is when you just douse yourself in cologne.

Whatever you call it, it's all just ethnic cleansing.

What's the worst thing about sex as a fat guy?

The fact that my armpits are wetter than the girl.

A woman goes to the vet

A woman goes the the vet to get her dog looked at because it isn't hearing what she says. And he says "He has a lot of hair in his ears, that's why he doesn't respond" So he takes Nair and puts it on a Q-tip and rubs it on the insides of his ears, and the dog is fine. The vet says "If you do this every few weeks, he should be fine."

So she goes to the pharmacy, gets a can of nair, and goes to the check out. The cashier tells her, "If you use this on your legs, don't shave them for at least three days." And she tells him she's not using it on her legs. "If you use it on your armpits, don't shave them for at least three days." And she says "I'm actually going to use it on my schnauzer." "In that case, don't ride your bike for at least a week."

Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?

Because the grass tickles their armpits.

I asked a chemist

"Where's the deoderant?

"Ball or aerosol," he asked.

"No," I said, "it's for my armpits."

Yo momma armpits are so hairy

It looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

How can armpits stop smelling?

If their noses are plugged

A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop.....

... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits.

The French Bride

How do you tell a French bride at her wedding?

She's the one with the braided armpits.

Why did the armpits lose the war against the elbows?

They were under-armed.

I never had a girlfriend because of how I smell..

I sniff their armpits while looking them straight in their eyes.

What is your funniest joke about the French?

Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits.

Swedish Chemist's Shop

(Imagine the Swedish accents)

A man goes into a Swedish chemists shop.
The assistant says, Good morning sir, how may I help you today?"
The customer says, "I'd like to buy a deodorant please."
"Certainly sir. Ball or aerosol?"
The customer replies, "No, I'd like it for my armpits."

A Swedish man goes into a store

I would like a deodorant, please

The store manager replies ball or aerosol?

And the Swedish man replies What? It's for my armpits.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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