Armpit Jokes

27 armpit jokes and hilarious armpit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about armpit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover hilarious armpit jokes guaranteed to make you laugh. From smelly armpits to the hairiest armpits, these jokes are sure to make you giggle and give you a whiff of a good time. Ready to tickle your funny bone? Read this hilarious article on armpit jokes and let the laughter out of your bellybutton!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Armpit Short Jokes

Short armpit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The armpit humour may include short broken arm jokes also.

  1. I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit But that's just my two scents
  2. My ex was perfect in all aspects except that her armpits smelled Hands down the best girl I have known.
  3. Deodorant I think we should all put on two kinds of deodorant. One for each armpit. But thats just my 2 scents.
  4. I think it's a good idea to use different deodorants, one under each armpit. But that's just my two scents.
  5. I asked a chemist "Where's the deoderant?
    "Ball or aerosol," he asked.
    "No," I said, "it's for my armpits."
  6. A swede is looking to buy some deodorant He goes into the store and is asked would you like ball or aerosol?
    Taken aback he replies I would like armpit..
  7. The French Bride How do you tell a French bride at her wedding?
    She's the one with the braided armpits.
  8. A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop..... ... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits.
  9. I never had a girlfriend because of how I smell.. I sniff their armpits while looking them straight in their eyes.
  10. Help me, just realized my new girlfriend doesn't wear deodorant. She says it just clumps up in her armpit hair.

Share These Armpit Jokes With Friends

Armpit One Liners

Which armpit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with armpit? I can suggest the ones about missing arm and one arm.

  1. How can you identify a French Infantryman? Sunburned armpits.
  2. Yo momma armpits are so hairy It looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
  3. Why do gnomes laugh when they play football? Because the grass tickles their armpits.
  4. Yo mamma so hairy when she lifted her armpit she said, "Welcome to the jungle."
  5. How can armpits stop smelling? If their noses are plugged
  6. Yo mama's armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.
  7. Why did the armpits lose the war against the elbows? They were under-armed.
  8. What's hairy and has five fingers? A thalidomide's armpit
  9. My chest hair connected with connected with my armpit My hair is really going places
  10. My uncle was stabbed in his left armpit He almost died in side.
  11. What do Obama and armpit hair removal have in common? The bush is gone.

Armpit Hair Jokes

Here is a list of funny armpit hair jokes and even better armpit hair puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo mamma smells so bad... Yo mamma smells so bad, she has to hang flypaper from her armpit hair
Armpit joke, Yo mamma smells so bad...

Heartwarming Armpit Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about armpit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean elbow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make armpit pranks.

The Ballerina

This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...

The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.

A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.

They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That's disgusting! o**... says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!

I went in for a job interview today...

The manager, looking for a great salesperson, picked up a laptop and said "sell me this laptop".
I proceeded to stick it under my armpit and walk out.
A few minutes later, the manager called my cellphone upset saying "bring it back!!!"
I said "i'll sell it to you for $200 bucks!"

Two guys go into a diner...

The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."

Guy sits down at a diner

He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.
The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".

A man walks into a bar

with a tarmac under his armpit. He says to the bartender:
Bartender, 2 beers please. One for me and one for the road.

Armpit joke, Yo mamma smells so bad...