The Best 15 Armpit Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Armpit jokes. There are some armpit bellybutton jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these armpit patties puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Armpit Jokes and Puns
I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit
But that's just my two scents
The Ballerina
This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...
The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.
A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.
They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That's disgusting! One guy says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!
I went in for a job interview today...
The manager, looking for a great salesperson, picked up a laptop and said "sell me this laptop".
I proceeded to stick it under my armpit and walk out.
A few minutes later, the manager called my cellphone upset saying "bring it back!!!"
I said "i'll sell it to you for $200 bucks!"
Two guys go into a diner...
The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."
Deodorant
I think we should all put on two kinds of deodorant. One for each armpit. But thats just my 2 scents.
Guy sits down at a diner
He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.
The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".
I think it's a good idea to use different deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that's just my two scents.
How can armpits stop smelling?
If their noses are plugged
A swede is looking to buy some deodorant
He goes into the store and is asked would you like ball or aerosol?
Taken aback he replies I would like armpit..
You can explore armpit whiff reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean armpit itchy dad jokes. There are also armpit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the armpits lose the war against the elbows?
They were under-armed.
Help me, just realized my new girlfriend doesn't wear deodorant.
She says it just clumps up in her armpit hair.
A man walks into a bar
with a tarmac under his armpit. He says to the bartender:
Bartender, 2 beers please. One for me and one for the road.
Yo mamma smells so bad...
Yo mamma smells so bad, she has to hang flypaper from her armpit hair
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the armpit nose jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working armpit pubic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.