Armpit Jokes
22 armpit jokes and hilarious armpit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about armpit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious armpit jokes guaranteed to make you laugh. From smelly armpits to the hairiest armpits, these jokes are sure to make you giggle and give you a whiff of a good time. Ready to tickle your funny bone? Read this hilarious article on armpit jokes and let the laughter out of your bellybutton!
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Funniest Armpit Short Jokes
Short armpit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The armpit humour may include short missing arm jokes also.
- I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit But that's just my two scents
- My ex was perfect in all aspects except that her armpits smelled Hands down the best girl I have known.
- I asked a chemist "Where's the deoderant?
"Ball or aerosol," he asked.
"No," I said, "it's for my armpits." - A swede is looking to buy some deodorant He goes into the store and is asked would you like ball or aerosol?
Taken aback he replies I would like armpit.. - The French Bride How do you tell a French bride at her wedding?
She's the one with the braided armpits. - I never had a girlfriend because of how I smell.. I sniff their armpits while looking them straight in their eyes.
- Help me, just realized my new girlfriend doesn't wear deodorant. She says it just clumps up in her armpit hair.
- So how about this weather we've been having? They say it's a dry heat but tell that to my armpits.
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Armpit One Liners
Which armpit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with armpit? I can suggest the ones about one arm and elbow.
- How can you identify a French Infantryman? Sunburned armpits.
- Why do gnomes laugh when they play football? Because the grass tickles their armpits.
- How can armpits stop smelling? If their noses are plugged
- Why did the armpits lose the war against the elbows? They were under-armed.
- What's hairy and has five fingers? A thalidomide's armpit
- My chest hair connected with connected with my armpit My hair is really going places
- My uncle was stabbed in his left armpit He almost died in side.
*ba-dum-tss* - What do Obama and armpit hair removal have in common? The bush is gone.
Heartwarming Armpit Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about armpit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arms jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make armpit pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Ballerina
This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...
The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.
They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That's disgusting! o**... says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!
Two guys go into a diner...
The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."
Ballerina
A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."
