Armpit Jokes

Following is our collection of whiff humor and bellybutton one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Armpit puns for adults, dirty itchy jokes or clean patties gags for kids.

There is an abundance of nose jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes on armpit. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any pubic witze you can hear about armpit.

The Best jokes about Armpit

I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit

But that's just my two scents

The Ballerina

This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"

The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"

The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"

After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"

The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...

The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.

The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.

A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.

They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.

That's disgusting! One guy says to the other.

Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!

Ballerina

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."


I went in for a job interview today...

The manager, looking for a great salesperson, picked up a laptop and said "sell me this laptop".

I proceeded to stick it under my armpit and walk out.

A few minutes later, the manager called my cellphone upset saying "bring it back!!!"

I said "i'll sell it to you for $200 bucks!"

Two guys go into a diner...

The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."

Deodorant

I think we should all put on two kinds of deodorant. One for each armpit. But thats just my 2 scents.

I think it's a good idea to use different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that's just my two scents.

Guy sits down at a diner

He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.

The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".

A swede is looking to buy some deodorant

He goes into the store and is asked would you like ball or aerosol?
Taken aback he replies I would like armpit..


How can armpits stop smelling?

If their noses are plugged

Why did the armpits lose the war against the elbows?

They were under-armed.

Help me, just realized my new girlfriend doesn't wear deodorant.

She says it just clumps up in her armpit hair.

A man walks into a bar

with a tarmac under his armpit. He says to the bartender:

Bartender, 2 beers please. One for me and one for the road.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes