Armour Jokes

52 armour jokes and hilarious armour puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about armour that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out our selection of funny Armour jokes! From knights in shining armour and head-to-toe Under Armour, to tying up a bandana with a shoelace and Tai in armour, get ready to laugh!

Funniest Armour Short Jokes

Short armour jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The armour humour may include short armor jokes also.

  1. Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ? Because Rick Astley is British.
  2. Why is leather armour better for sneaking than steel armour? Leather armour is made of hide.
  3. Why do assassins and thieves always wear leather armour in videogames? Because it's made from hide!
  4. A British man A British man asks and American,
    Why don't you spell colour, armour, or flavour the same way as we do?
    The American replied,
    We got rid of u in 1776.
  5. The evening after they were married, Harry set Meghan to work, polishing his set of Royal plate mail. Well, she did say she always wanted a night in, shining armour.
  6. When Princess Meghan confronted Prince Harry about spending their wedding evening polishing his plate mail... Harry said, "What!? You told me, all you ever wanted was a night in, shining armour!"
  7. A man once came across an armoured aquarium. He said to himself, "This thing's built like a tank."
  8. I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub. She always wanted a night in, shining armour.
  9. What's the difference between a knight in shining armour and a naughty baker A knight in shining armour darts on the foe
  10. What does an Irishman say when you give him two heavily armoured vehicles for Christmas? Tanks

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Armour One Liners

Which armour one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with armour? I can suggest the ones about weapon and arms.

  1. Why does leather armour help the wearer be stealthy? Because it's made of hide.
  2. Why is French body armour so cheap? They only need it for their back
  3. The other day, Iron Man broke his leg in his unbreakable armour. So much ironknee
  4. I really excel at dressing up in armour It's my strongest suit
  5. What's a thief's favorite type of armour? Steel armour
  6. Two men in suits of armour enter a hotel... And ask for a room for two knights.
  7. Why do stealth classes need leather armour? Because it's made of HIDE.
  8. What do you call armour in Australia? Under Armour
  9. Why couldn't women be vikings? Because they only made mail armour.
  10. What do you call a suit of armour that whispers to you? ASMARMOUR
  11. If you're a tree that is sick of being teased for wearing armour... Yewknight!
  12. What does an athlete with hairy underarms wear? Under Armour
  13. What is the weakest armour made out of? Asian People
  14. Why'd Japan beat China? The Chinese had c**... in their armour.

Under Armour Jokes

Here is a list of funny under armour jokes and even better under armour puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Left my wife polishing my chainmail while I went to the pub She said she wanted a night in, shining armour
  • In the end, it isn't about whether or not someone uses colour or armour or favourite it's all about u
  • A wave of crime is sweeping Metropolis. Superman is helpless to stop the instigator, a code-breaking enthusiast dressed in full plate armour. Can no one save us from the Crypto-Knight?
  • Princess Meghan's dream came true, she spent an entire evening polishing Harry's suit of plate mail... She finally got her night in, shining armour.
  • I told my wife to spend the evening polishing my medieval battle uniform, whilst I went out to the pub. She's always going on about wanting a night in, shining armour.
  • I saw my postman dressed as a knight on Halloween but his armour was made of envelopes. I don't think he really understands how to make chain mail
  • The other day I told a joke about an armoured vehicle with a rotating gun turret. It tanked.
  • My wife said she'd polish my helmet this evening. I'm happy and she said it's what she's always wanted... medieval bascinet has a lovely gleam and she gets her night in, shining armour.
  • Why can't you download anything while inside an armoured vehicle? Because your internet speeds tank!
  • Shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give body armour manufacturers a bad name.

Knight In Armour Jokes

Here is a list of funny knight in armour jokes and even better knight in armour puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where do Knights get their armour? The hardware store.
    One I came up with when I was about 10.
  • b**... while being dressed as a Knight b**... while being dressed as a Knight is my absolute weakness.
    You can say that it is a k**... in my Armour.
Armour joke, b**... while being dressed as a Knight

Armour joke, b**... while being dressed as a Knight

Entertaining Armour Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about armour you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean armed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make armour pranks.

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.

Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!

I've always wanted to have s**... while wearing Mandalorian armour...

I guess I have a Boba Fettish

Sean Connery told me he got a tattoo of armour on his mouth, and that I mustn't tell anyone.

"OK," I replied, "And I recently cheated on my wife. So you must keep my secret, if you want me to keep yours."
He said, "My lips are shield."

Armour joke, Why couldn't women be vikings?