Armies Jokes

Following is our collection of benito funnies and war chistes working better than reddit jokes. They include Armies puns for adults, dirty combatants jokes or clean sleevies gags for kids.

There is an abundance of infantry jokes out there, and you're fortunate because we've a collection of favorite ones. Check out the funniest 29 jokes on the internet, even funnier than any battalion witze you can hear about armies.

The Best jokes about Armies

Where does Obama keep his armies?

In the Baracks.

"Herr General, the Italians have entered the war"

said the Wehrmacht commander's subordinate.

"Really?" his boss sighed. "Send half a division to stop them."

"Nein, herr General." replied his subordinate; "they are entering on our side."

Upon hearing it, the General collapses onto the table, crying; "Send two armies to help them!"

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES!

Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

Before guns were invented

armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit this one out until the next war

Where does the General keep his armies?

In his sleevies!


The general couldn't find his armies...

...So he rolled up his sleevies

Where does the president keep his armies?

in his sleevies!!!

Where does a king keep his armies??

In his sleevies

Where did the General put his armies

In his sleevies...

Where does a king keep his armies?

In his sleeveies

Where does the General keep his armies?

In his sleevies of course!


A Greek and an Italian...

are arguing the virtues of their respective cultures in antiquity.

The Greek says, "Us Greeks had great armies and built a great empire that expanded throughout the Mediterranean and Asia Minor."

The Italian says, "And the Romans had greater armies and a much bigger empire, encompassing most of Europe and parts of Asia and Africa."

The Greek says, "But the Greeks made great advances in art and philosophy!"

And the Italian says, "Yes, and the Romans made even greater advances in architecture and science!"

The Greek is getting frustrated now, and blurts out, "Well, we discovered the pleasures of love and sex!"

The Italian responds, "Yeah, but we introduced the concept to women."

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

My favourite Russian joke.

3 soldiers are all sitting around bragging about their armies. A Russian, an Israeli and an American.

The Russian boasts, "In our army we get 500 calories of field ration per day."

The Israeli says, "We get 1000 calories a day for field ration."

The American says, "Well we get around 2000 calories a day for field ration."

The Russian blurts out, "That is bullshit, you can't possibly carry that much cabbage!"

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies


*best joke my eleven-year-old past self ever heard

Where does a world leader keep their armies?

Around the world in strategic places, were else did you think they would be?

Where does Poland keep its armies?

Up its sleevies.

Where does kim jong un keep his armies?

Up his sleevies


Where did Hitler keep his armies?

Up his sleevies.

How do you know there are no Asians leading the White Walker armies in Game of Thrones?

Because two Wongs don't make a wight.

Where does Kim Jong-un hide his armies?

In his sleevies!

Kid friendly jokes?

I'm a ski instructor. I usually teach kids ages 9-13 years old. What are some good kid friendly jokes to keep them interested?

Example:
Q: Where do kings keep their armies?
A: In their sleevies.

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

Bonus: Where does Hitler keep his armies? Poland...

George Washington

Where does George Washington keep his armies? [spoiler] in his sleavies! [/spoiler]

The Popcorn Army is very similar to most other armies...

the main difference is the ranking system: everyone starts out as a Kernel.

Made up joke from a nine year old.

Where are the king's armies?

Up his sleevies.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies

(My son told me this one. Took WAY too long for the joke to register)

World war 3 almost happened 10 years ago...

but when Chuck Norris showed up, all the armies went screw this and left.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes