Armchair Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Armchair jokes. There are some armchair couch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these armchair cello puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Great Armchair Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends


A woman's husband comes home wasted every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best l**.... She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub. "It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?" "We might as well," slurs the husband.

"I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."

I tried to build myself an armchair, but I s**... up some of the measurements and made it too wide

So near, and yet sofa

What do you call an Irish armchair?

Patty O'Furniture

I'm an armchair psychologist

Yesterday I diagnosed a Lazyboy with schizophrenia

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

As an armchair pundit, I can't help thinking the Thai team would have escaped sooner

If they'd made better use of their subs

For his birthday my son asked me to buy him an armchair.

I've looked around and I can only find ones made from wood or leather.

my son came home with a free sofa and armchair today,

I've told him before never to take suites from a stranger.

I work at a furniture store. My boss asked me to label and price all the new items.

I said, "Hey boss. How do you want me to label this stone armchair?"

He said, "No man, clay chair."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the armchair barstool puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working armchair sectional piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes