Arm Jokes
154 arm jokes and hilarious arm puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arm that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Create laughs with these funny arm jokes! From one arm to a broken arm to no arm at all, these jokes will have you questioning just how long (or short) your arms are. Whether it be a big or small bicep, this collection of arm jokes is sure to hit the funny bone.
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Funniest Arm Short Jokes
Short arm jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arm humour may include short leg jokes also.
- The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife... Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day! - The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife Thanks, Mom! Happy Mothers' Day!
- My husband said our infant son could microwave... And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.) - The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife Happy Mother's Day!
- Studies say most stabbings are committed by someone close to the victim. Within arm's length, to be specific.
- Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally. - A man wakes up in the hospital after a serious accident He shouts "Doctor, Doctor I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, we amputated your arms." - My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.
- Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead.
- A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a............beer." The bartender responds, "what's with the big pause?" The bear holds up his arms and says, "always had 'em."
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Arm One Liners
Which arm one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arm? I can suggest the ones about humerus and no arms and legs.
- If We're Going to Arm the Teachers All I ask is that the librarians get silencers
- Why did eminem kneel at the half time show? His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.
- I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex He's a small arms dealer.
- I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms leg.
- What did the boy with no arms get for his birthday ? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet
- EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WEB MD: Cancer.
- I have a T-Rex who sells me guns. He's a small arms dealer.
- A judge asked a wife why she stabbed her husband 75 times. She said her arm got tired.
- What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull coming from the childrens play ground
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's lost at sea? Bob.
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.
- What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A happy pitbull
- I just flew in from a Ravioli convention. Boyardees arms tired.
- T-Shirt is actually short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt... Because of the short arms
- What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate? a Partial artist
No Arm Jokes
Here is a list of funny no arm jokes and even better no arm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I told my doctor that I recently broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
- You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'. - Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
- Placing three armed veterans in each school will stop school shootings The shooter will see people with three arms and freak out.
- I'd like to thank my legs for supporting me My arms for always being by my side and my fingers... I could always count on them.
- What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.
- What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms? Whatever you want
- "Mom what's dark humor?" "Do you see that guy over there without arms? Ask him to clap his hand"
"But mom I'm blind..."
"Exactly!" - A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and asks for a beer The bartender nods,
"and how about one for the road?" - What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player? A tattoo.
No Arm No Leg Jokes
Here is a list of funny no arm no leg jokes and even better no arm no leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Awwww If you watch Jaws backwards it is a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms & legs to disabled people.
- Vader has a pretty sweet suit. It must have cost at least an arm and a leg.
- Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A. Anything you want, there's nothing he can do about it.
- I would like to thank my arms For always being by my side
I would like to thank my legs for always supporting me
And I would like to thank my fingers because I can always count on them - What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children's playground.
- I have 3 eyes, 5 legs and 6 arms, what am I ? A liar
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? Bill.
- Shout out to my arms for always being by my side... & my legs for being there every step of the way
- A guy wakes up in hospital after surgery and complains he can't feel his legs "I know" said the doctor.
"We had to amputate your arms" - How much does a red lightsaber cost? An arm and a leg
^^
One Arm Jokes
Here is a list of funny one arm jokes and even better one arm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He asks for one beer, and one for the road.
- What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.
- Have you heard about the one-armed super hero? He single handedly stops crime.
- I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store I was like "You're not going to find what you're looking for"
- I have a job helping a one armed man type capitals. It's shift work.
- Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving? Because you only need one arm to drum along..
- I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work
- New job I recently got a new job assisting a one-armed typist with capital letters. It was shift work
- What has four legs and one arm? A pitbull terrier in a childrens' playground
- How do you pick up an elephant with one hand? You can't, there are no elephants with one arm
One Arm Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny one arm man jokes and even better one arm man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How did the one armed man save the world? Single handedly!
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under one arm and says, A beer please, and one for the road,
- A man walks into a bar with a big slab of tarmac/asphalt under his arm... The barman asks him, "So what can I get you?"
"I'll have a pint and eh, one for the road." - Did you hear about the one-armed man that robbed the bank? He did it single-handedly.
- A man walked into a bar with some asphalt on his arm He said: "Two beers please, one for me and one for the road"
- A hitchhiker with 3 eyes, no arms and one leg was standing on the side of the road An Irish man pulls up and says " eye,eye eye you look armless, why don't you hop on in?"
- I've just gotten a part-time job helping a one-armed man type capital letters... It's shift work.
- A man walks into a bar with some tarmac under his arm... And said: "one for me and one for the road"
- Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop. - In a world with no weapons, the one armed man . . . Could still have a better punchline than this.
Broken Arm Jokes
Here is a list of funny broken arm jokes and even better broken arm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've broken my arm in 3 places. I've decided to stop going to those places.
- Patient Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places Doctor Well don't go to those places.
- I told my doctor that I've broken my arm in 2 places. He suggested that I shouldn't visit these 2 places again.
- What do you call an Irishman with two broken arms? sober
- I was involved in a car accident today Got away with a broken arm, no idea who it belonged to but now it's mine.
- What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark. Do not consume if seal is broken
- What has broken arms, broken legs and is on the bottom of a river? People who tell jokes about the Mafia.
- A man went to the doctors office and said "I've broken my arm in several places".... The Doctor tells him "Well, you should stop going to those places".
- Patient asking... Patient asking: "Doctor, it hurts when I press my leg. It hurts, when I press my arm. It hurts, when I press my head. What's that?"Doctor: "You have a broken finger!"
- No matter how hard I try, I always seem to be going round in circles. Having a broken arm while in a wheelchair isn't ideal.
Laughable Arm Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about arm you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean one arm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make arm pranks.
I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said
"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."
I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually, he called me on my phone and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I replied, "£100 and it's yours."
I was s**... active at 12
It's now 12:15 and my arm is killing me
A man was driving on the highway in the US when suddenly he was hit by a drunk driver, breaking his right arm, puncturing his lung, and putting him into a short coma
Despite not having insurance, he left the hospital without any financially crippling debt that would haunt him for the rest of his life and compromise his future savings.
So God creates Adam...
...and soon after he notices that Adam is lonely.
God says "Do not fear, my child. For I will create a partner to accompany you and man from this time forth. She will be known, as a woman."
God continues "She will be obedient, loyal, passionate and nurturing."
Adam hesitates..
"What is this gonna cost me?" Adam asks.
God responds "An arm and a leg."
Adam retorts "What can I get for a rib?"
A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.
"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"
Funniest thing my gf has ever said
We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. No one was in the car with her (probably on bluetooth).
Me: Hey babe look at this woman behind us. What is she doing? She's just flailing her arms around but there isn't any one with her.
GF: Maybe she's deaf and she's singing to herself.
A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
A pirate goes to the dermatologist.
A pirate goes to the dermatologist to check the red bumps on his arm.
The dermatologist looks at them, and says "Don't worry, they're benign."
The pirate says, "Arrr! I counted them meself, and there be eleven of 'em!"
A man walks into a bakery with a 25lb haddock under his arm.
He asks the baker, "do you make fish cakes?".
The slightly confused baker replies that they don't.
"That's a shame", replies the man. "It's his birthday today".
God said to Adam "I'm going to make you a woman"
God: "She's going to clean for you, cook anything you want whenever you want it, always look beautiful, never be bad tempered, give you children, always obedient, and she'll never argue with you."
Adam: "That sounds great, but what'll it cost me?"
God: "Oh, an arm and a leg."
Adam: "That's a bit steep. What can I get for a rib?"
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Proud Dad momemt
My 10 year old daughter just asked me "Dad, what do you do when you break your arm in several places?" I was in the middle of going over some work and said " I'm not sure" her reply was " You stop going to those places."
***Happy tear follows***
I was at a job interview today...
When the manager handed me a laptop and said,
I want you to sell this to me.
So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.
Eventually he called me and said, Bring my laptop back now.
I said, £200 and it's yours.
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a s**..., the second lady had a s**..., but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.
Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.
Son walks in on his dad m**...
Dad tells him "son... you'll be doing this soon".
The son asks "why... because I'm about to hit puberty?"
To which the dad replies "no... because my arm is getting sore"
I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...
The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."
I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"
If you watch 127 Hours backwards
It's the uplifting story of an amputee finding an arm in the desert.
Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter onto the White House lawn
He's carrying a pig under each arm. A marine who's there to greet him says, "Nice pigs, sir!" Clinton responds, "Thank you! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." The marine replies, "Nice trade, sir!"
A guy walked into a prosthetic limbs store.
He picked up a false shoulder, arm and wrist.
The store attendant asked "Would you like a hand with that?"
A woman was pumping her gas on an extremely hot day.
As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately walked over to her.
As she pleaded for help, they approached her and immediately arrested her for unlawfully waving a firearm.
Granddad could tell a tale
He used to say that as a boy he had the strongest arm in the county. He said he could throw a stick so hard that it would take his dog an hour to retrieve it.
To me that always seemed far-fetched.
What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?
A Tattoo.
I told my doctor I broke my arm in 2 places today
He told me not to go back to those places
An alterboy walks in while a priest m**....
The priest said don't look so shocked son ... you will be doing this soon.
Why is that Father?
Because my arm is getting tired.
A man walks into a bakery...
So a man walks into a bakery with a fish under his arm. When he gets in there, the baker greets him and asks him how he could help the man.
"Do you sell fish cakes?", the man asks the baker.
"No, of course we don't!" the baker replies.
"But it's his birthday!"
A guy goes in for a job interview...
A guy goes in for a job interview.
The manager hands the guy his laptop and says, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So the guy puts it under his arm, walks out of the building, and goes home.
Eventually, the manager calls the guy and says, "Bring it back here right now!"
The guy says, "$200 and it's yours."
My friend has hired a Butler without a left arm.
Serves him right.
Adam spoke to God in the Garden of Eden
"I am lonely" said Adam. "I need someone around for company."
"Very well," said God. "I will create a companion for you. One who will obey your every word, do all your chores along with cooking and cleaning for you."
"Wonderful!" said Adam. "What will it take?"
"For you, it will cost an arm and a leg" said God.
"That seems pretty steep" said Adam. "What could I get for just a rib?"
A lawyer was in his BMW...
...when he opened the door to get out, an oncoming truck hit the door, ripping it off, and went on. The lawyer calls the cops.
Lawyer (Whining) : Officer, look what happened to my beamer.
Officer : You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. You are so worried about your car that you did not notice that your arm is missing as well.
Lawyer (in shock) : Oh my God! Where's my Rolex?
A man on fire
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places...
...My doctor told me to stay away from those places.
A man is driving his car when suddenly the door of a parked car is swung open in front of him.
He proceeds to smash into the door of the car, ripping it off. He stops to see another man, in a very expensive suit, jump out of the car and scream at him "you just ripped the door off my lovely Porsche!".
The first man says "You are so materialistic...you didn't even notice that you left arm was ripped off in the accident".
The second man looks down for a second, then screams "my Rolex!"
I saw a woman once
Who was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She starts waving it around and a cop saw it and shot her dead. She was waving an i**... fire arm.
What do you do if you break your arm in two places?
Don't go back to those two places.
A lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm
The bartender says, "Hey! Get that pig out of here!"
The lady scoffs and tells the bartender, "This isn't a pig, it's a duck." To which the bartender replies, "I was talkin' to the duck!"
Adam is in the Garden of Eden and is feeling lonely. So he asks God for someone to share his existence with.
God answers of course, I can create a being that will support you no matter what you do, provide for you, and never argue .
Adam is excited and asks that sounds perfect, what will it cost me
An arm and a leg
….what can I get for a rib?
A woman is reading a book in bed when her husband enters with a sheep under his arm
The husband holds the sheep up to the woman and exclaims: "This is the pig I'm cheating on you with."
The woman, confused by the notion, replies: "But... that's a sheep."
To which the husband shakes his head and says: "I wasn't talking to you."
A man goes to a doctors office, and says Whenever I touch anywhere on my body, it hurts
He touches his arm, and screams in agony. He touches his shoulder, and screams in agony. The doctor observes all this and says, I think you have a broken finger.
An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Amazon...
It was secondhand.
A Salmon under his arm
Man walks into a fish shop with a salmon under his arm and says to the fishmonger "You got any fishcakes mate?". The fishmonger replies "Course we do mate, it's a fish shop!". "GREAT" replies the man pointing to his salmon "It's his BIRTHDAY!"
Both Golf
"Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season. "
"Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a h**.... "
"No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight! "
A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm.
"do you make fish cakes?"
"Yes we do" replies the fishmonger...
"Great" says the man, ït's his birthday"
A man walks into a bar with a fish under his arm...
He asked the barman if they sold any fish cakes. The barman said no and the man pouted. That's a shame, he said, pointing to the fish, it's his birthday!
Why snakes avoid hospitals in US?
Because it "cost an arm and a leg" to enter one !
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Note: this is first dad joke I write and make ... hope it can put some smiles on some of people faces .. have a good evening guys
PS : in a second thought .. I should had made it " **Why snakes can't enter into hospitals in US?** " LOL
A man walks into a bar while carrying a chunk of asphalt under his arm....
he says, "Hey! Bartender! Two beers please." The bartender looks at him with a confused look and asked, "Why two? Are you waiting on someone?" The man responds, "Nah, I need for me and one for the road."
A man walks into a seafood restaurant carrying a fish under his arm
He approaches the owner of the restaurant and says, Does your restaurant serve fish cakes?
The owner responds, Yes, of course!
And the man with the fish says, Good, because it's his birthday.
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks
Cost me an arm and a leg!
A woman is woken up late one night to the sound of her husband coming home.
He crashes into the bedroom reeking of booze, with a duck under his arm.
"What the h**...'s going on, Steve?" asks the woman.
"What do you think of the pig?"
"That's not a pig, it's a duck."
"I wasn't talking to you."
A woman with hairy armpits enters a bar..
She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."
This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the bar is a ballerina? "
The drunkard shrugs and says, "Any woman that could lift her leg that high must be a ballerina."
A psychologist addresses three mothers, telling them that he brought each of them there to reflect their life addictions.
To the first mother he says, "You have an addiction to sweets, as you named your daughter Candy."
To the second mother he says, "You have an addiction to gambling and money, hence your daughter is named Penny."
And before the psychologist could approach the final mother, she grabs her son by the arm and says "Come on, Richard, we're leaving."
A man walks into the bakers...
A man walks into the bakers with a salmon under his arm. He asks the woman behind the counter "Excuse me, do you serve fish cakes?"
The woman replies, "Of course we don't!"
The man points to the fish and shouts - "Well what am I supposed to do?! Its his birthday!"
Bill works in a machine shop. One day he gets into an accident at work...
He leans in too close to a piece of machinery and chops off his arm. Bob rushes over to help. He puts Bill's arm in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. An hour later Bill comes out with his arm reattached. "Ah, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.
A few weeks later, Bill leans in too close again and chops off his leg. Bob puts Bill's leg in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. 2 hours later Bill comes out with his leg reattached. "Ah, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.
A few weeks later, Bill once again leans in too close and lops off his head. Bob puts Bill's head in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. 3 hours go by and finally a doctor emerges from the surgery room. He walks over to Bob and says, "I'm sorry, but your friend didn't make it." Bob is distraught and says, "But the miracles of modern medicine have samed him before. Why couldn't you reattach his head?" The doctor replies, "We would have been able to, but some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
The Ballerina
This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette.
The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
An archeologist walks into a bar
An archeologist walks into a bar, orders a beer and gives a heavy sigh. "What's wrong?" the bartender asks. "I thought I discovered a fully intact dinosaur skeleton at my dig yesterday," the archeologist laments. "Sadly, upon further excavation today it turns out that it was just a fossil arm."
A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris
The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm....
He says: "This is the pig I have to have s**... with when you're away."
His wife says: "Actually I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: "Actually I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
So Adam was lonely.
God asked Adam, "What's wrong?"
Adam replied, "I'm lonely."
So God said, "Adam, I will make you a partner. She will wash and cook and clean for you; she will listen to what you have to say and never interrupt you. She won't nag you about your actions and she will even bear your children. She will stay loyal to you and never be influenced by other men."
So Adam asked, "Well, what's his gonna cost me?"
"An arm and a leg," God replied.
Then Adam asked, "Well what can I get for a rib?"
Jets Fan
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.
The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.
The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."
