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Arkansas Jokes

81 arkansas jokes and hilarious arkansas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arkansas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest Arkansas jokes, including jokes about the Arkansas Razorbacks, Arkansas inbreds, Arkansas Razorback football, Arkansas weather, and the Arkansas traveler. Whether you're from Arkansas, Georgia, Oklahoma, or just huntin' for a good time, you'll enjoy our collection of Arkansan humor.

Funniest Arkansas Short Jokes

Short arkansas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arkansas humour may include short fellers jokes also.

  1. TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
  2. How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas? Because anywhere else it would've been called a teethbrush.
  3. Why did Arkansas raise the legal drinking age to 32? To keep alcohol out of the high schools.
  4. Got this from my dad tonight...You know why they don't have CSI in Arkansas? They don't have enough teeth for dental records, and they all have the same DNA.
  5. Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas? Because everyone there hates integration.
  6. What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.
  7. what is 40 feet long and only has 3 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair.
  8. What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? "Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."
  9. Just learned that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas If it were invented anywhere else it would have been call a teethbrush.
  10. TIL that the toothbrush was made in Arkansas. If it was made anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

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Arkansas One Liners

Which arkansas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arkansas? I can suggest the ones about pacific and backwoods.

  1. What did Tennessee? Same thing Arkansas
  2. What has 10,000 feet and one tooth? An unemployment line in Arkansas.
  3. What do wheat, gluten, and Arkansas have in common? They're all in bread.
  4. If you get a divorce in Arkansas... ... is she still your sister?
  5. Why don't any pirates live in Kansas? Because they all live in *Ar*kansas.
  6. What's the inverse of Kansas? Arkansas
  7. Why is Alberta known as the Texas of Canada? Because Canadians don't know about Arkansas.
  8. What is the state fruit of Arkansas? Pump-kin
  9. Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls? Family reunions.
  10. Arkansas 3 million people, 15 last names
  11. How do people from Arkansas celebrate Halloween? They pumpkin!
  12. Why can't you find pirates in Kansas? They all live in Arkansas
  13. What did Tennesee?? What Arkansas..
  14. What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates? Arkansas
  15. What do you call Kansas with a gun? Arkansas

Arkansas joke, What do you call Kansas with a gun?

Entertaining Arkansas Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about arkansas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean state jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make arkansas pranks.

What's the first thing a 16 yr old, from Arkansas, says after s**...?

Get off me Pa you're crushing my Copenhagen!

Wife's Duties

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties at home.
The first man had married a woman from Georgia and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Arkansas. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was cleaned and the dishes were done, and food was on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Watched Sling Blade the other day and heard this charmer.

Two young men, one from California the other from Arkansas, we're standing on a bridge relieving themselves into the water. The guy from California looks over and says,
"Gee, this water sure is cold",
To which the guy from Arkansas replies,
"And deep too!"

A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.

Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says "watch this"......
"Pilot to control tower......hey there h**..., guess who!!"
Control tower switches off the airport lights.....
"Control tower to pilot....... Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*"

Old Clinton joke

President Clinton is visiting his home state of Arkansas and picks up two razorback pigs from a local breeder.
As he's walking onto Air Force one with a pig under each arm he asks to the marine saluting him, "you ever see such beautiful creatures in your whole life?" ... "No sir, I have not. If I may ask, sir, why did you get the pigs?" Clinton responds, "well I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." ... "Excellent trade sir!!"

Saw It

Of all the saws that I have seen saw, I never saw a saw saw like this saw saws.
If you go thru Arkansas and see a saw that can out-saw the saw that I saw saw,
I'd like to see that saw saw!

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

"Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do pimentos, raisins, and people from Arkansas have in common?

When you find one, it's usually in bread

Where Do Pirates From Kansas Go?

AR-kansas

What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?

Pump kin.

I saw a great job advertisement the other day.

It was written by a carpenter from Little Rock.
He only wrote one line, under 'special skills':
"Arkansas."

Nice pigs sir

A Secret Service agent is standing at the bottom of the stairs as President Clinton is leaving Air Force One, and can't help but notice that the President has a pig under each arm.
The Agent salutes and says, "Welcome back, Mr. President. Nice pigs, sir."
Clinton smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."
The Agent says, "Good trade, sir."

A new law recently passed in Arkansas.

When a man and woman are divorced, they can still be brother and sister.

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

Sooner or later they find a potent cousin.

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

An F5 tornado went through Arkansas last week...

It did $150 million worth of improvements.

So I was reading licence plates...

The first car was from Minnesota, had 6 numbers, and at the bottom said "10,000 Lakes". I thought to myself "They must put the State Slogan there." The next car was from Arkansas, had 6 numbers, and at the bottom, it read "Disabled"

The power went out at a mall in Arkansas once.

People were stuck on the escalator for hours.

TIL: The toothbrush was invented in Arkansas.

Had it been invented anywhere else, they would have called it the teethbrush.

The girls in Arkansas have a lot in common with bears...

They both lick their paws.

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.
The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"
Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"
The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Whichever one happens, somebody's going to lose a trailer.

Arkansas ranks highly among other states in terms of depression and adultery

It's a sad state of affairs.

Have you heard of the Arkansas shuffle?

That's where you have to sneak out of your sisters bed in the middle of the night and crawl back into mom's bed before she knows you where gone.

A man was diagnosed with cancer.

Man: "Wow, Doc, how bad is it?"
Doctor: "Well, you're at the extreme end of stage 4 pancreatic cancer. You've only got about 3 months to live."
Man: "Oh no! Is there anything I can do?"
Doctor: "Well, I'd suggest moving to Arkansas and becoming a pig farmer."
Man: "Really? That would cure my cancer?"
Doctor: "Oh no, of course not. But it will be the longest three months of your life."

Whats the difference between an Arkansas devorice and a tornado?

I'm not sure but someone is losing a double-wide.

An Arkansas man takes his 12 year-old daughter to the doctor to get her on birth control

The doctor then asks the man, Your 12 year-old daughter is s**... active!?
The man replies, No, she's like her mother. She just lays there.

Why are there no Pirates in Kansas?

They all moved to ARKansas

What does an Arkansas guy tell his girlfriend when he finds out she is cheating on him?

I'm gonna tell mom.

Arkansa's nickname used to be "The Land of Opportunity"

Then the Mexicans came and starting race mixing. Now it's known as "The Natural State"

Where did the Pirate from Kansas move to?

Ar-Kansas

Everybody in Arkansas is about to hate life.

Oh wait, I meant "pro life".

You should move to Arkansas. It's absolutely lovely

But what about all the mosquitoes?
They all died from ODs thanks to biting the m**... heads

How can you tell you're at a traditional Arkansas wedding?

No one has to tell the bride welcome to the family .

Did you know that the toothpick was invented in Arkansas?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethpick.

We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansas…

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Pole…

A woman from Connecticut goes on a business trip to Arkansas...

...and, her meeting over and business concluded, she goes to the hotel bar to enjoy a quiet drink.
The bartender, hearing her order, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did yew go to school?"
Smiling slightly, the lady says "Yale."
Bartender draws a deep breath and says "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YEW GO TO SCHOOL?"

A man in rural Arkansas is brought before a judge for his prelimnary hearing.

"What is the charge, counsel?" The judge asks.
"Bigotry, your honor," the prosecutor replies. "This man has three wives."
"You idiot," the judge says. "That ain't bigotry, it's trigonometry."

Arkansas is where all the pirates from Kansas moved.

And they originally spelled it Cansas but being so far from the coast they found they missed the C too much.

A highly successful blonde business woman was headed west

She was on her way to a work conference, driving through Arkansas.
As she's cruising along she comes across a farm and out in the middle of the field is a blonde in a rowboat, surrounded by cows, rowing like mad and going nowhere.
She's p**.... She pulls over and jumps out of her car, runs up to the fence, and begins shouting.
"I don't know who the h**... you are, but you're giving all of us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come over there and kick your a**...!"

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV

# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"

Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.

Arkansas joke, 50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV

jokes about arkansas