The Best 61 Arkansas Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arkansas jokes. There are some arkansas california jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arkansas missouri puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Arkansas Jokes and Puns

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?

Because anywhere else it would've been called a teethbrush.

What's the first thing a 16 yr old, from Arkansas, says after sex?

Get off me Pa you're crushing my Copenhagen!

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in *Ar*kansas.

Arkansas joke, Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Wife's Duties

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties at home.

The first man had married a woman from Georgia and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day, he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Arkansas. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was cleaned and the dishes were done, and food was on the table.

The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Arkansas

3 million people, 15 last names


Got this from my dad tonight...You know why they don't have CSI in Arkansas?

They don't have enough teeth for dental records, and they all have the same DNA.

Watched Sling Blade the other day and heard this charmer.

Two young men, one from California the other from Arkansas, we're standing on a bridge relieving themselves into the water. The guy from California looks over and says,

"Gee, this water sure is cold",

To which the guy from Arkansas replies,

"And deep too!"

Arkansas joke, Watched Sling Blade the other day and heard this charmer.

A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.

Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says "watch this"......
"Pilot to control tower......hey there Hillbilly, guess who!!"
Control tower switches off the airport lights.....
"Control tower to pilot....... Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*"

Old Clinton joke

President Clinton is visiting his home state of Arkansas and picks up two razorback pigs from a local breeder.

As he's walking onto Air Force one with a pig under each arm he asks to the marine saluting him, "you ever see such beautiful creatures in your whole life?" ... "No sir, I have not. If I may ask, sir, why did you get the pigs?" Clinton responds, "well I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." ... "Excellent trade sir!!"

What has 10,000 feet and one tooth?

An unemployment line in Arkansas.

Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas?

Because everyone there hates integration.

You can explore arkansas oklahoma reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arkansas kentucky dad jokes. There are also arkansas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Saw It

Of all the saws that I have seen saw, I never saw a saw saw like this saw saws.

If you go thru Arkansas and see a saw that can out-saw the saw that I saw saw,
I'd like to see that saw saw!

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

"Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

[NSFW] What do people in Arkansas say after having sex?

Get off me pa you're crushing my smokes

What do pimentos, raisins, and people from Arkansas have in common?

When you find one, it's usually in bread

What's the inverse of Kansas?

Arkansas

Arkansas joke, What's the inverse of Kansas?

What do kids in Arkansas call pedophiles?

Dad

Where Do Pirates From Kansas Go?

AR-kansas

Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas


If you get a divorce in Arkansas...

... is she still your sister?

What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates?

Arkansas

what is 40 feet long and only has 3 teeth?

The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair.

TIL that the toothbrush was made in Arkansas.

If it was made anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

What did Tennesee??

What Arkansas..

What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?

Pump kin.

What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

"Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."

I saw a great job advertisement the other day.

It was written by a carpenter from Little Rock.

He only wrote one line, under 'special skills':

"Arkansas."

What do wheat, gluten, and Arkansas have in common?

They're all in bread.

TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32.

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

How do people from Arkansas celebrate Halloween?

They pumpkin!

Nice pigs sir

A Secret Service agent is standing at the bottom of the stairs as President Clinton is leaving Air Force One, and can't help but notice that the President has a pig under each arm.

The Agent salutes and says, "Welcome back, Mr. President. Nice pigs, sir."

Clinton smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."

The Agent says, "Good trade, sir."

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

A new law recently passed in Arkansas.

When a man and woman are divorced, they can still be brother and sister.

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

Sooner or later they find a potent cousin.

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

An F5 tornado went through Arkansas last week...

It did $150 million worth of improvements.

So I was reading licence plates...

The first car was from Minnesota, had 6 numbers, and at the bottom said "10,000 Lakes". I thought to myself "They must put the State Slogan there." The next car was from Arkansas, had 6 numbers, and at the bottom, it read "Disabled"

The power went out at a mall in Arkansas once.

People were stuck on the escalator for hours.

TIL: The toothbrush was invented in Arkansas.

Had it been invented anywhere else, they would have called it the teethbrush.

What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?

The impossible dream

The girls in Arkansas have a lot in common with bears...

They both lick their paws.

What did Tennessee?

Same thing Arkansas

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.

The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"

Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"

The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Whichever one happens, somebody's going to lose a trailer.

Arkansas ranks highly among other states in terms of depression and adultery

It's a sad state of affairs.

Have you heard of the Arkansas shuffle?

That's where you have to sneak out of your sisters bed in the middle of the night and crawl back into mom's bed before she knows you where gone.

A man was diagnosed with cancer.

Man: "Wow, Doc, how bad is it?"

Doctor: "Well, you're at the extreme end of stage 4 pancreatic cancer. You've only got about 3 months to live."

Man: "Oh no! Is there anything I can do?"

Doctor: "Well, I'd suggest moving to Arkansas and becoming a pig farmer."

Man: "Really? That would cure my cancer?"

Doctor: "Oh no, of course not. But it will be the longest three months of your life."

Whats the difference between an Arkansas devorice and a tornado?

I'm not sure but someone is losing a double-wide.

An Arkansas man takes his 12 year-old daughter to the doctor to get her on birth control

The doctor then asks the man, Your 12 year-old daughter is sexually active!?

The man replies, No, she's like her mother. She just lays there.

What do you call Kansas with a gun?

Arkansas

What does an Arkansas guy tell his girlfriend when he finds out she is cheating on him?

I'm gonna tell mom.

Where did the Pirate from Kansas move to?

Ar-Kansas

Why is Halloween the #1 holiday in Arkansas?

Because they love pumpin' kin.

Everybody in Arkansas is about to hate life.

Oh wait, I meant "pro life".

Did you hear that they're raising the drinking age in Arkansas to 25?

They want to keep it out of the schools.

You should move to Arkansas. It's absolutely lovely

But what about all the mosquitoes?

They all died from ODs thanks to biting the meth heads

You should consider moving to Arkansas, the don't have any mosquitoes...

They all died off after biting so many methheads

How can you tell you're at a traditional Arkansas wedding?

No one has to tell the bride welcome to the family .

Did you know that the toothpick was invented in Arkansas?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethpick.

What is the state fruit of Arkansas?

Pump-kin

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arkansas tennessee jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arkansas arkansas razorbacks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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