Arithmetic Jokes

Following is our collection of homework humor and sophomore one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Arithmetic puns for adults, dirty class jokes or clean multiplication gags for kids.

There is an abundance of tutor jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes on arithmetic. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any school witze you can hear about arithmetic.

The Best jokes about Arithmetic

Make the little things count...

teach midgets arithmetic.

Teacher to student If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Student: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Student: You don't know my father.

Teacher: If I gave you a dollar and your father gave you a dollar how much money would you have?

Me: 1 dollar
Teacher: You clearly don't know your arithmetic
Me: You clearly don't know my father

Never underestimate a hoe's ability to do arithmetic.

Because its the thot that counts.

If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"

One quarter." answered little Johnny.

You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"

The problem with math jokes

Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.

The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.

Funny Johnny and his father

Β Johnny, if you had $5 and you asked your father for $3 more, how many dollars would you have?

– I would have five dollars…

– You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny…

– You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch…

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.

Now, what does each get?

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.

With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, A lawyer!

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent: You don't know my father.

Scientists have discovered a new species of moss that can perform arithmetic calculations.

They do this using algae-rhythms.


Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

I bought some inflatable numbers to help my son with arithmetic, but this guy called Desmond came along and stole one of them.

I guess four is Tutu's.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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