Arithmetic Jokes
18 arithmetic jokes and hilarious arithmetic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arithmetic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a good laugh and brush up on your arithmetic knowledge with a collection of modular arithmetic, polynomial, geometry and other arithmetic jokes sure to give you a chuckle. Perfect for a break from the tedium of homework or for a family gathering.
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Funniest Arithmetic Short Jokes
Short arithmetic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arithmetic humour may include short mathematics jokes also.
- Teacher: If I gave you a dollar and your father gave you a dollar how much money would you have? Me: 1 dollar
Teacher: You clearly don't know your arithmetic
Me: You clearly don't know my father - Scientists have discovered a new species of moss that can perform arithmetic calculations. They do this using algae-rhythms.
- People with dysgraphia (inability to spell) also tend to answer arithmetical problems in an unpredictable, seemingly random matter. According to them, you can't spell "calculation" without "luck".
- OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime - Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent: You don't know my father. - I haven't done much in my life, but I did teach basic arithmetics to ants... It's the little things that count.
- I bought some inflatable numbers to help my son with arithmetic, but this guy called Desmond came along and stole one of them. I guess four is Tutu's.
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Arithmetic One Liners
Which arithmetic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arithmetic? I can suggest the ones about algebra and math solving.
- Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic.
- For Xmas I got you mental arithmetic. It's the thought that counts.
- Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? Because if you add 4 + 4 you get ate!
- Never underestimate a h**...'s ability to do arithmetic. Because its the thot that counts.
Quirky and Hilarious Arithmetic Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about arithmetic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math homework jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make arithmetic pranks.
Teacher to student If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Student: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Student: You don't know my father.
If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"
One quarter." answered little Johnny.
You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"
There are many problems with math puns.
Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
The problem with math jokes
Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.
The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.
There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...
...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.
The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.
Funny Johnny and his father
Johnny, if you had $5 and you asked your father for $3 more, how many dollars would you have?
– I would have five dollars…
– You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny…
– You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch…
Math puns are boring
Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.
A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:
A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.
One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.
Now, what does each get?
After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.
With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, A lawyer!