Arithmetic Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Make the little things count...

teach midgets arithmetic.

Teacher to student If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Student: One dollar.
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic.
Student: You don't know my father.

Teacher: If I gave you a dollar and your father gave you a dollar how much money would you have?

Me: 1 dollar
Teacher: You clearly don't know your arithmetic
Me: You clearly don't know my father

Never underestimate a hoe's ability to do arithmetic.

Because its the thot that counts.

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.

Funny Johnny and his father

ย Johnny, if you had $5 and you asked your father for $3 more, how many dollars would you have?

โ€“ I would have five dollarsโ€ฆ

โ€“ You don't know your arithmetic, Johnnyโ€ฆ

โ€“ You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutchโ€ฆ

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.

Now, what does each get?

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.

With complete sincerity in his voice, answered, A lawyer!

Scientists have discovered a new species of moss that can perform arithmetic calculations.

They do this using algae-rhythms.


Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

What are the funniest arithmetic jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Arithmetic? Well, here are the best Arithmetic puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Arithmetic pick up lines to share with friends.


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