The Best 59 Arguments Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Arguments jokes. There are some arguments evidence jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arguments arguement puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Arguments Jokes and Puns


There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.

Why did the computer split up with the programming language.

Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!

My wife and I haven't stopped fighting since the furnace broke

Well, at least the arguments are getting heated

Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots...

because they take arguments and return values.

jokes about arguments

I counted the times I was right in arguments with my girlfriend. I was right 1450 times and she was right 675 times.

She said it was very childish of me to count that. She was right about that, but that still leaves her at 676.

I always get the last word in arguments with my girlfriend.

I just say "Yes ma'am"

What do hurricanes do when they lose arguments?

They storm off.

(I remembered this one when I saw the "from when I was seven" post)

Arguments joke, What do hurricanes do when they lose arguments?

iPhone chargers are like arguments with a woman

some days you have 1, some days you have 5

Why doesn't Mr.Sodium like to spend time with Mr.H20?

Because they always get in to heated arguments.

I can't believe people say people who don't believe in climate change don't care about the environment.

Just look how well they recycle their arguments!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

You can explore arguments equally reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arguments convince dad jokes. There are also arguments puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Me and my girlfriend broke up because she's been activating my allergies.

I'm sick of her arguments.

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

Internet arguments are a lot like spoons....

there is no point

I really hate arguments about fractions.

They're divisive.

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Arguments joke, Why do mimes always lose arguments?

I made some strong arguments against a pyromaniac.

I was literally on fire.

I am so smart and good at arguments..

I am so smart and good at arguments, that in the end I end up beating myself!

Never argue with paraplegics

They always win with sympathy because their arguments never have a leg to stand on

What do you call a family member who doesn't support their arguments with evidence?

Just cuz.

(I came up with this just now and I'm so proud of it and I haven't slept in 3 days)

"You da bomb." "No, you da bomb"

America: compliments

Syria: arguments

What keeps you from strangling your significant other during arguments? Love? Their good personality? Empathy? Morals?

For me, it's the death penalty.

Why can programmers become good lawyers too?

Because they know how to pass arguments.

My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.

I told her 'I think you mean fewer'.

Why can't programmers maintain good relationships?

They have a lot of arguments.

I tried arguing with the table salesman at the furniture store.

He kept making strong counter arguments, though.

Arguments joke, I tried arguing with the table salesman at the furniture store.

Wanting to understand them better, I just spent an afternoon reviewing the arguments of anti-vaxxers, and you know what...

... they still make me sick.

A flat earther that argues with good arguments

I told my teacher that I know the Earth is round because if I walk in a straight line long enough I'll end up where I started

He told me I shouldn't make circular arguments

My anorexic friends try to convince me they have a very serious disease...

But their arguments don't seem to carry much weight.

Why do swordfish always win arguments?

They always have a good point.

Which Jewish family member finishes all arguments?

...Aunty Semitic

I used to clap at people when I would get into arguments but then my black co worker told me that that's cultural appropriation

So I changed my name to Darnell and started curling my hair

What do you call a guy with a lisp who likes to jack off during math arguments?

A math debater.

I've heard all the environmental activists' arguments for banning plastic products...

and they're really just grasping at straws.

A so-called friend of mine and I were having a heated discussion regarding what to do with all of the plastic waste we are generating. I decided we couldn't be friends when he brought up straws.

I can't be friends with someone who makes straw-ban arguments.

Had a debate with a flat-earther today. Although I wasn't totally convinced

...he put up well-rounded arguments

Why did Steve Jobs hate arguments with Bill Gates?

He could never WinThose

Christmas time is a time of giving, not receiving.

Which causes arguments between gay couples every year.

Sometimes I have imaginary arguments in the shower.

They are all heated arguments.

Why did the functions stop calling each other?

Because they had constant arguments.

I like my arguments the way I like my penises

Long and drawn out

I was scanning radio stations and landed on a religious show where the host made mention of Jesus's will.

I thought wow, someone should read that. It would probably solve a lot of arguments.

I just watched a TV show where a bunch of stoners are sitting around having mild arguments.

It's a mellow drama.

What do you call an animal that eats all the arguments of the question and replies "Yes"?

An InclusiveOr.

I'm undefeated in Facebook arguments

My record is 0-0-1498

Only programmers will get this one:

Why did the functions stop calling each other?

Ans: Because they had too many arguments.

Double amputees must be real bad at arguments.

After all, they don't have one leg to stand on

I never get into arguments with ballerinas

they always have a strong point

The arguments between the "pro-mask" and "anti-mask" groups is really intense! People are even PRACTICING their arguments at home first.

Just yesterday I heard a 14 y/o boy tell his friend that at home he mask debates into a sock!

My wife said we would have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic..

I said, 'I think you mean fewer arguments'

My girlfriend has just told me, she thinks we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.

I told her, "I think you mean fewer".

Internet arguments are like connect four

but you only have three pieces

Why did Anakin Skywalker fail as a lawyer?

His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.

I don't like jokes about math….

They always divide people and it adds up to arguments in the comments

My wife and I were debating Indian food

I'm pretty sure I won because all her arguments were naan-sequiturs.

What do you call a huge, angry, green man that cites all his arguments from peer reviewed journals?

The credible hulk

Why was the robot cancelled?

Because it didn't accept non-binary arguments

I hate getting into arguments about Mobius Strips.

They're always one sided

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arguments warriors jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working arguments dispute piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes