Cheeky Arguments Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!
1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2 TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT- USE THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – OIL AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE OIL. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.
Why did the computer split up with the programming language.
Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!
Circular arguments are such a waste of time...
They are just pointless
My wife and I haven't stopped fighting since the furnace broke
Well, at least the arguments are getting heated
Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots...
because they take arguments and return values.
I counted the times I was right in arguments with my girlfriend. I was right 1450 times and she was right 675 times.
She said it was very childish of me to count that. She was right about that, but that still leaves her at 676.
I always get the last word in arguments with my girlfriend.
I just say "Yes ma'am"
What do hurricanes do when they lose arguments?
They storm off.
(I remembered this one when I saw the "from when I was seven" post)
iPhone chargers are like arguments with a woman
some days you have 1, some days you have 5
Why doesn't Mr.Sodium like to spend time with Mr.H20?
Because they always get in to heated arguments.
You can explore arguments equally reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arguments convince dad jokes. There are also arguments puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I can't believe people say people who don't believe in climate change don't care about the environment.
Just look how well they recycle their arguments!
What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?
The Adhomineminal Snowman
Me and my girlfriend broke up because she's been activating my allergies.
I'm sick of her arguments.
When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?
When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.
Internet arguments are a lot like spoons....
there is no point
I really hate arguments about fractions.
They're divisive.
Why do mimes always lose arguments?
They don't have a say in anything!
I made some strong arguments against a pyromaniac.
I was literally on fire.
I am so smart and good at arguments..
I am so smart and good at arguments, that in the end I end up beating myself!
Never argue with paraplegics
They always win with sympathy because their arguments never have a leg to stand on
What do you call a family member who doesn't support their arguments with evidence?
Just cuz.
(I came up with this just now and I'm so proud of it and I haven't slept in 3 days)
"You da bomb." "No, you da bomb"
America: compliments
Syria: arguments
What keeps you from strangling your significant other during arguments? Love? Their good personality? Empathy? Morals?
For me, it's the death penalty.
Why can programmers become good lawyers too?
Because they know how to pass arguments.
My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.
I told her 'I think you mean fewer'.
Why can't programmers maintain good relationships?
They have a lot of arguments.
I tried arguing with the table salesman at the furniture store.
He kept making strong counter arguments, though.
Wanting to understand them better, I just spent an afternoon reviewing the arguments of anti-vaxxers, and you know what...
... they still make me sick.
A flat earther that argues with good arguments
I told my teacher that I know the Earth is round because if I walk in a straight line long enough I'll end up where I started
He told me I shouldn't make circular arguments
My anorexic friends try to convince me they have a very serious disease...
But their arguments don't seem to carry much weight.
Why do swordfish always win arguments?
They always have a good point.
Which Jewish family member finishes all arguments?
...Aunty Semitic
I used to clap at people when I would get into arguments but then my black co worker told me that that's cultural appropriation
So I changed my name to Darnell and started curling my hair
What do you call a guy with a lisp who likes to j**... during math arguments?
A math debater.
I've heard all the environmental activists' arguments for banning plastic products...
and they're really just grasping at straws.
A so-called friend of mine and I were having a heated discussion regarding what to do with all of the plastic waste we are generating. I decided we couldn't be friends when he brought up straws.
I can't be friends with someone who makes straw-ban arguments.
Had a debate with a flat-earther today. Although I wasn't totally convinced
...he put up well-rounded arguments
Why did Steve Jobs hate arguments with Bill Gates?
He could never WinThose
Christmas time is a time of giving, not receiving.
Which causes arguments between gay couples every year.
Sometimes I have imaginary arguments in the shower.
They are all heated arguments.
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Because they had constant arguments.
I like my arguments the way I like my p**...
Long and drawn out
I was scanning radio stations and landed on a religious show where the host made mention of Jesus's will.
I thought wow, someone should read that. It would probably solve a lot of arguments.
I just watched a TV show where a bunch of stoners are sitting around having mild arguments.
It's a mellow drama.
What do you call an animal that eats all the arguments of the question and replies "Yes"?
An InclusiveOr.
I'm undefeated in Facebook arguments
My record is 0-0-1498
Only programmers will get this one:
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Ans: Because they had too many arguments.
Double amputees must be real bad at arguments.
After all, they don't have one leg to stand on
I never get into arguments with ballerinas
they always have a strong point
The arguments between the "pro-mask" and "anti-mask" groups is really intense! People are even PRACTICING their arguments at home first.
Just yesterday I heard a 14 y/o boy tell his friend that at home he mask debates into a sock!
My wife said we would have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic..
I said, 'I think you mean fewer arguments'
My girlfriend has just told me, she thinks we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.
I told her, "I think you mean fewer".
Internet arguments are like connect four
but you only have three pieces
Why did Anakin Skywalker fail as a lawyer?
His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.
I don't like jokes about math….
They always divide people and it adds up to arguments in the comments
My wife and I were debating Indian food
I'm pretty sure I won because all her arguments were naan-sequiturs.
What do you call a huge, angry, green man that cites all his arguments from peer reviewed journals?
The credible hulk
Why was the robot cancelled?
Because it didn't accept non-binary arguments
I hate getting into arguments about Mobius Strips.
They're always one sided
Why does the baker rarely get into arguments?
He's a loafer, not a fighter.
