Argh Jokes

26 argh jokes and hilarious argh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about argh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make the high seas roar with laughter with this collection of pirate-inspired argh jokes. Featuring a range of classic gags, puns and witty one-liners, this article has something for everyone. Put on your best pirate hat and crack a yay or two from the helm - yarrrr!

Funniest Argh Short Jokes

Short argh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The argh humour may include short ouch jokes also.

  1. A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says "hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" the pirate responds "ARGH! it drives me nuts!"
  2. Two eggs in a frying pan One says to the other; wow! It's warm in here!
    The other replies Argh!!! A talking egg!
  3. People are always mistaken thinking there is only 1 letter in the pirate dictionary, in actual fact there is 10 Eye eye, argh and the 7 seas
  4. The creator of Arby's was a pirate. He was walking one day thinking of a name for his new restaurant, until he got stung by a bee and shouted "Argh-bees!"
  5. "Does your dog bite?"
    (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
    "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
    "That is not my dog."
  6. A pirate walks into a bar. He has driving wheel sticking out his nether regions.
    The bartender asks him "Doesn't that make you go crazy?"
    The pirate replies "Argh. It's driving me nuts!"
  7. What did the pirate say when he got a steering wheel stuck in his pants Argh! Yer driven me nuts.
  8. What's a pirates favourite letter You think it be The argh but a pirate first love really be the sea
  9. What did the pirate CEO say to his crew? Argh you have to work harder! Our **sail** are down!

Share These Argh Jokes With Friends

Argh One Liners

Which argh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with argh? I can suggest the ones about pirate argh and whee.

  1. Why did the pirate go on vacation? He felt like he needed some argh and argh
  2. What tax filing service does a pirate use? H&ARGH Block
  3. How do you save a pirate's life? Sea pee ARGH!
  4. What did the cannibal say when he met a fully armored knight? Argh... Canned food again?
  5. What did the Indian pirate say to the boat Captain? "Argh, gimmie me alla yer Buddha!"
  6. What would Chewbacca say on his deathbed? Argh argh argh...
  7. What does an emo pirate say? Argh XD
  8. What's a pirate's favourite amino acid? Argh-ginine!
  9. What did the Jewish pirate say when he heard his wife died? Argh, shiva me timbers
  10. What did the pirate say to the hot blonde? Argh, I come to plunder your b**...!

Argh joke, What did the pirate say to the hot blonde?

Cheerful Fun Argh Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about argh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean oops jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make argh pranks.

If a tree falls.....

A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!"

Two friends are arguing...

"Look, I have a colony of ants!"
"Well, I have taller ants than you"
"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"
"Hah, I have an entire tin"
"I got bread!"
"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"

There were two sisters

There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.
One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"
His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."
Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of the front of his pants.

The bartender looks up and says "Hey Pirate, you've a got a steering wheel coming out of the front of your pants!"
The pirate says "Argh, it's driving me nuts."

Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

Person 1:Do you want to hear my Batman impression ?

Person 2: Sure!
Person 1: AARGH NO! Not the Kryptonite!
Person 2: That's Super Man!
Person 1: Thanks, I've been practicing it

A pirate walks into a bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender looks at him for a moment, before asking, "Hey, what's up with the steering wheel?"
The pirate goes "Arghhh, it be driving me nuts."

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"

Three Daughters

One day a girl comes up to her mom and asks her, "Mother, why did you name me Rose?"
"Because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head."
Her second daughter comes up to her and asks, "Mother, why did you name me Daisy?"
"Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head."
The third daughter comes up to her and asks, "GHLSARGHLARGHLARG."
"What did you say Brick?"

Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life

What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?


A drunk lurches out of a pub at lunchtime.
After getting his alcohol-induced double vision together, he notices a car parked by the kerb with its bonnet up and a man leaning against the car with his arms folded and looking very grumpy.
He staggers over and manages to slur, "What's the matter, mate?"
The grumpy guy scowls at the drunk and says, "Argh - piston broke!"
"Yeah - so am I!" replies the drunk and lurches off...

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Not, not "Argh." Too obvious.
Not the "C" either. Everyone has heard that one.
"Without a P he's irate hahahahaha!" Blah blah blah. Nope.
Give up?
A letter of marque. It makes his profession semi legitimate, provides for a legal way to store his wealth in his homeland, and allows him to attain social prestige far above his station if successful enough.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Argh joke, What's a pirate's favorite letter?