Areas Jokes

Following is our collection of rural humor and area one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Areas puns for adults, dirty suburb jokes or clean exponentially gags for kids.

There is an abundance of eastern jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 37 funniest jokes on areas. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any restricted fishing area witze you can hear about areas.

The Best jokes about Areas

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

I'll show myself out

During a marriage preparation class, the teacher asked how many kissable areas there are on a woman's body

One guy said, "18."

A French guy in the back yelled, "119!"

Another guy said, "12."

The French guy piped up again, "119!"

A sweet girl in the front said, "I know only one...the lips!"

The French guy shouted, "120!"

The mountains aren't just funny, they're...

Hill areas.

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."

The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...

Woman in a coma

Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated. The theorize that oral sex will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little aprehensive about it at first, but he agrees to do it. The nurses leave the man with his wife and give him some privacy. They come back about 10 minutes later and the woman is dead! "What happened?" asks one of the nurses. The man replies, "I dont know...I think she choked."

Why did the hikers laugh at the mountains?

Because they were hill areas

The Panhandlers

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers. They panhandle in different areas of town.

Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day.

Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos says to Jose "I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?"

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say"?

Carlos sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and six kids to support'."

Jose says " No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars."

Carlos says... "So what does your sign say"?

Jose shows Carlos his sign. It reads, "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico

What does a man who just raped 300 million people say after?

We are helping consumers and promoting competition, Mr. Pai said. Broadband providers will have more incentive to build networks, especially to underserved areas.

Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.

So Toys-R-Us has begun to expand into inner city areas.

But they've had to change the name to We-B-Toys.

Two electrician friends meet at the hardware store after work

and chat about LED fixtures and other areas of illuminating rooms for a few hours. When the one electrician returns home to his wife that asks what took so long, he replies

"Me and my friend were just having a light conversation at the store."

Why are modern cities all so prejudiced against ancient Sumerian cities?

They all have Ur-ban areas.

Most avid climbers agree that small mountains are jokes.

They think they're just hill areas.

I heard Anheuser Busch is sending 9 truckloads of canned water to the areas affected by Hurricane Matthew.

Who knew there was such a demand for Bud Light after a disaster?

I've heard people say mountains are funny.

Personally, I just think they are hill areas.

Where's the door again, got I'll see myself out.

The Thane Of Cawdor's (Scottish equiv. Of Earl) castle is protected by high stone walls. The weak point is the old wooden drawbridge, which is showing the first small signs of rot in some areas.

The smartest men in the castle assemble to advise the king, but all of their solutions involve paying for a brand new drawbridge, which the Scottish Thane is not a fan of.

Oh, the cost! He cried, isn't there anyone in the kingdom who has a better, cheaper idea for protecting the wood of this fine old drawbridge?

The court fool thinks hard for a minute, then having his eureka moment, steps forward towards his master and exclaims in a loud voice: urethane .

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

Nixon's disease

The First Lady starts having trouble in her lady areas, so she visits the gynecologist.

The gynecologist takes her into the exam room and asks her what she's having trouble with, and she notes an itching sensation.

So the doctor looks under a magnifying loupe and sees that she has a case of the crabs.

Now he just has to break the news to her.

"Oh, God. How on earth am I gonna tell the First Lady she has crabs?"

He thinks.

So, after a minute or so of awkward silence, the doctor sighs and says

"I'm very sorry ma'am, but you appear to be suffering from nixon's disease"

"What's that?" She asks

"Well, you have bugs in your Oval Office".

Mountains aren't just funny

They're hill areas.

Rednecks can't describe large areas as expansive...

Listeners will just wonder why they paid so much for it.

There's a protocol when it comes to bears [Long]

If you go camping, you should carry bells so not to startle a bear and be attacked, and pepper spray in case it does.

It would help to learn the scat of the bear, so you can avoid areas with dangerous species.

Brown and black bear's is small and dark.

Grizzly's is large, light in color, has bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

What marker is only sold in shady areas?

Mr. Sketch.

If we really live in a simulation, then the creator must hate tropical areas a lot.

Because there is too much bugs

Why is that psychiatrists don't want to visit Arctic areas?

They can't handle bipolar bears.

my old man had a joke from his days in the Air Force

Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.

One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing strip?'

the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'

Where does the Joker keep a record of his favourite shrubland areas?

Heath Ledger.

I was trying to promote heavy policing in urban areas with a hip new logo you can post around your neighborhood...

"S.W.A.T. Stickas" didn't go over too well...

Ever hear about the South African SWAT team?

They operate in areas with malaria outbreaks.

New trick thief racket

Im just here to warn you, about this gang.
They appear on parking areas in front of supermarkets.

Seems like at the moment often at walmart.
2 very cute 18 - 20 year old girls will start to wash your car while you put your groceries in. They have barely clothes on, so you could see their underwear and even more.

If you offer money, they will say no and ask you if you instead can give them a ride to another supermarket. If you agree they get on your backseat and will start having sex with each other while you drive. After a while they try to involve you. While one kisses you, the 2nd will steal your wallet.

Just wanted to tell you: Take care!
I got robbed this way on monday, tuesday, wednesday, twice on thursday and on saturday.

During the lockdown, they changed the names of the flight areas in airports to waystations

They thought 'terminal' was a bit off putting

An autopsy is performed on a potential murder victim

They suspect murder however an autopsy reveals that all of the inside organs are in completely wrong areas, they conclude with he is very disorganised

A guy once told me few jokes on mountains

Had to say they were hill areas.

How do you solve the problem of Euthanasia?

Open up more schools in poor areas

Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

Call a man comrade and make fishing areas public, and he will starve to death in no time.

The world is full of grey areas.

I don't know how you can get any more black and white than that.

My friend laughs at regions with small mountains

He thinks theyre hill areas

Feminists and social justice warriors are great.

I was born a male but I identify as female and lesbian. I can now walk into female changing areas freely.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes