Arctic Jokes

75 arctic jokes and hilarious arctic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arctic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Head to the far north and discover the funniest Arctic jokes on everything from arctic foxes to arctic hares. Read on for jokes about polaroids, Siberian tigers, arctic monkeys, and even Arctic Cat snowmobiles. Bundle up and get ready to laugh - it's going to be a cold one!

Funniest Arctic Short Jokes

Short arctic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arctic humour may include short polar bear jokes also.

  1. Some people think the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same... ...but in reality, they are polar opposites.
  2. What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect? "Where were you on the night of September to March?"
  3. What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids.
    ^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful.
  4. I told my parents that I'm planning to move to the Arctic circle for work, and they seemed really upset. My dad said, I don't like your latitude.
  5. Two explorers are exploring the Arctic After some walking, they come across an igloo.
    The first explorer turns to his colleague and says, An ice house!
    The second replies, A nice house, indeed!
  6. Have you heard about the place way up North where birds stop flying North and start flying south? It's where they make Arctic Terns.
  7. Why do scientists knew that the frozen prehistoric man they found in the Arctic was friendly ? Because he's a n iceman
  8. Why did the bear beat his wife, eat their children and leave for the arctic? Because he was bipolar.
  9. I've had some pain in my stomach ever since I ate those Radiohead and Arctic Monkeys CDs. I think I've got indiegestion.
  10. Why do celebrities want to be Arctic sea-ice? Because it's getting younger, thinner and more media attention year after year.

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Arctic One Liners

Which arctic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arctic? I can suggest the ones about polar and icicle.

  1. Who split the arctic sea? Eskimoses
  2. Have you ever been to an arctic graveyard? It's chilling...
  3. what do you cal 50 penguins in the arctic Lost
  4. Where do Arctic Monkeys store their food to keep it cool. Indie fridge.
  5. What do you call fifty penguins in the Arctic? LOST!
  6. What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic? Knot cool
  7. You know I've always liked the arctic There has always been something cool about it
  8. I met a guy with a girlfriend in the arctic and a boyfriend in Antarctica... Bipolar
  9. What do you call a gender-fluid arctic mammal with anger issues? A bi-polar bear!
  10. What do you call a bear in the Arctic? Starving.
  11. Which alligator lives in the arctic? The refridgegator.
  12. What do you call an arctic bear that goes both ways? Bipolar.
  13. What do you call a group of penguins in the arctic? LOST! SUPER LOST!
  14. Just listen to Arctic Monkey's latest album I'll give it a 4 out of 5
  15. What is an arctic animal's favorite drink? A polar beer

Arctic Monkeys Jokes

Here is a list of funny arctic monkeys jokes and even better arctic monkeys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Can't decide which song is better at the minute... Arctic Monkeys "Four Out Of Five", or Drake "8 out of 10"...
  • A man goes to the Doctor and says "I can't stop listening to the Arctic Monkeys" The doctor replies- "Snap out of it".
  • I have a compilation album of the best Arctic Monkeys songs... It's their first album.

Arctic Ocean Jokes

Here is a list of funny arctic ocean jokes and even better arctic ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a town in the middle of the Arctic Ocean? An Iceburgh.
  • What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean? H to O
  • Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
  • What's the most important thing for having s**... in the Arctic Ocean? Make sure you have a tight seal.
Arctic joke, What's the most important thing for having s**... in the Arctic Ocean?

Arctic Circle Jokes

Here is a list of funny arctic circle jokes and even better arctic circle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a s**...-confused Arctic Circle? Bi-polar
Arctic joke, What do you call a s**...-confused Arctic Circle?

Rib-Tickling Arctic Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about arctic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean north pole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make arctic pranks.

Whats the best profession to have for dating?

Arctic sailing, since its always handy for icebreakers.

How do you bid farewell to a s**... open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.

"Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"

How To Catch a Polar Bear

First, go to the grocery store, and buy some peas. Doesn't matter if they're frozen, or canned, or whatever, just get some peas. Bring those peas to the Arctic, where the polar bears live. Then find a large-ish hole in the ice. It should be big enough to fit a couple people in. Put some peas in front of the hole, and hide. Now when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!

Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.
Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG person for the past 30 years.
The wife sighs, looks at the doctor and exclaims "It's like I've been trying to tell him doctor, I'm just not that Inuit."

I hate to admit it but my views on life in the arctic

are very polarised.

How an Illuminati living in the arctic is called?

An Igloominati

A polar bear and a black bear are taking a stroll in the arctic...

When suddenly, the polar bear falls in some water he starts to panic and says, "Help, I'm dissolving!" the black bear replies with, "No you aren't bears are insoluble!" the polar bear says, "That's easy for you to say, you're non-polar!".

What do you call an arctic gypsy?

A Snomad!

Have you heard about the hippie ornithologist who went to the arctic?

He left no tern unstoned.

The k**... is a great supporter of environmentalism.

They are all about keeping the arctic white.

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Go to the arctic, take a can of peas.
When you get there, cut a hole in the ice and place peas all around the edge of it.
When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Scientists are studying the effects of m**... on the arctic tern, a species of bird.

The studies are so intense they have stated "We are leaving no tern unstoned."

While on location for weeks in arctic Siberia, writing a piece for National Geographic, my brother randomly showed up to keep me company.

It really helped having a cool story bro.

A special group of polar bears that live in the Arctic and Antarctic have been seen with dual personalities and s**... attraction to both sexes..

I guess you could say they're Bi-polar bipolar bi polar bears.

Why is that psychiatrists don't want to visit Arctic areas?

They can't handle bipolar bears.

Friend: I'm going to spend the whole fall and winter up on the Arctic Tundra.

Me: Wow, that's dark, dude.

Job Opportunity for Flat Earthers

Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.

Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great!

When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.

Where did Noah put the penguins on the ark?

In the arctic section.
Note: my 7 yr old grand daughter made this up on the spot, after I told her this joke:
Where did Noah put the bees on the ark?
In the archives.
I think she's pretty clever.

Vera Lynn used to work at an Arctic research station. She wrote a protest song about the lack of variety in the staff canteen.

Whale meat again?

How to catch a polar bear

First, go to the Arctic and dig a large hole in the ice.
Next, open a can of peas and place the peas around the edge of the hole.
When the bear steps up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
Sorry. I'll see myself out

Arctic joke, Why do scientists knew that the frozen prehistoric man they found in the Arctic was friendly ?

jokes about arctic