Architect Jokes

Following is our collection of document humor and bosnian one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Architect puns for adults, dirty chaos jokes or clean truss gags for kids.

There is an abundance of project jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 37 funniest jokes on architect. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any builder witze you can hear about architect.

The Best jokes about Architect

Women are discussing their sex life.

- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it's going to be when it's ready.

Three engineers were discussing who could have been the architect of the human body.

The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."

The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."

The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."

An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.

"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."

"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."

The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"

So, there are two men.

They know each other for years now. Frank, a brain surgeon from new york and Ahmad a former refugee from syria.

Both men want to build an house and decide to build their houses in the very same street, next to each other. They even ask the architect to just copy the first house!

And when the houses are built Ahmad says to Frank: "My house is worth more than yours."

"How can that be? We both live next to each other!"

"Yes"

"Our houses were built identically, with the same materials."

"True."

"So how can it be, Ahmad?"

"Very simple: I live next to a brain surgeon and you live next to a refugee!"

An artist, architect, and engineer are at a bar...

...talking about having a wife vs. a mistress.
The artist declares that he prefers a mistress because he finds them more spontaneous and exciting.
The architect says, "no, I much prefer a wife because I enjoy building that foundation with one woman and love the security that comes with marriage."
The engineer says, "I prefer to have both and to spend equal time between the two of them... eventually, they both get used to you not being around and you can sneak off and get some work done."


Conversation that just happened between a friend (lawyer) and I (Architect).

Friend: Everybody hates lawyers, until they need one.
Me: Everybody loves architects, until they need one.

An Artist, an Architect, and an Engineer...

...are discussing whether it is better to have a wife or a mistress.

The architect says, "A wife, of course. A good marriage is the foundation of a happy life."

The artist says, "No, a mistress. She will add intrigue and excitement to your life."

They turn to the engineer to ask his opinion. The engineer says, "I have both. The wife thinks I'm with the mistress. The mistress thinks I'm with the wife. And I can go down to the plant and get some work done."

An American, a Japanese and a Bosnian architect are looking at a mountain.

American: If we Americans started drilling on the one end of the mountain and on the other end of the mountain, we would build a tunnel in about two months.
Japanese: That's nothing, if we Japanese started drilling on the one end of the mountain and on the other end of the mountain, we would build a far better tunnel in only one month.
Bosnian: If we Bosnians started drilling on the one end of the mountain and on the other and of the mountain, in one month our employer would get two tunnels for the price of one.

A teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living...

Jack answers, "my daddy's a scientist, and my mom is a nurse."
Suzie answers, "my mommy's an architect."

"And how about you, Johnny?" the teacher asks one student. Johnny looks up at her and says, "my dad works at a gay strip club. Every night, he dances in a g-string for a bunch of men, and once in a while one of the men will pay him and he'll go to the man's house for the night." The teacher, shocked, hurriedly moves the class along to the next activity.

A little while later, she pulls Johnny aside while the rest of the students are working, and asks, "did you really mean that when you said your dad's a gay stripper?" Johnny looks up and says, "no, he's one of Mitt Romney's campaign managers, but that was too embarrassing to tell the whole class."

What's the difference between an Architect and an Engineer?

If architects built all the buildings, they would fall down on their own. If engineers built all the buildings, they'd be so ugly, we'd tear them all down.

What's the difference between a doctor and an architect?

An architect's mistakes are there for the world to see, but a doctor buries their mistakes.


Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students?

To the suspension bridge.

I work with an amateur architect.

It puts a roof over my head, sort of.

I lost my job as an architect after my first day

Apparently a revolving mosque makes it difficult to pray towards Mecca.

Cr

An engineer, an architect and a mathematician are trapped in a cave with nothing but a can of food each and they want to get the cans open so that they can eat.

The engineer finds a rock and taps it against the weak spot of the can. The architect throws the can against the wall in a way that doesn't collapse the cave. The mathematician then announces loudly to the other two, Let my can be open, how do we close it?

How often did the architect have to put long narrow paths in his blueprints?

Hallways

A cowboy and architect walk into a bar

The architect challenges anyone who can design the best building in 5 minutes

The cowboy accepts the challenge

The architect and cowboy are handed a pen and paper

The bartender counts them down and says "3..2..1.. draw!"

And the cowboy shoots the architect

An American and a German architect...

... bet who can build a skyscraper in the least amount of time. After a month the American mails the German: "Only 10 days and I'll be finished."
The German writes back: "Hah, that's nothing. Only 10 forms left and I am allowed to start."

A medic, an architect and a programmer are talking about who's job is the oldest.

A medic, an architect and a programmer are talking about who's job is the oldest.

The medic says: "My job is the oldest because when God made Eve from Adams rib, that was a medical procedure."

The architect says: "Hold up! Before Adam and Eve, God created the universe. That's an architects job - to make something out of chaos."

The programmer then says: "Now wait a minute, who do you think was responsible for all the chaos?"


What did the architect do at the nightclub?

He raised the roof.

Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

He tries to cast all the data to float.

I became an architect just west of Japan.

It was a bad Korea choice.

My friend was the head architect for a Cocaine heist. He code named it

The Big Blow Job

What's the best way to get a Roman architect started on building your house?

Column

I invited an architect to my party last night

He made the best entrance I've ever seen.

An architect knows

How to make a long story short.

A computer architect walks up to an elevator and sees a sign that says "Out of Order"..

.. and says "Even better!" and gets into it.

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

How do architects, engineers and male pornstars gain fame?

Through their erections.

One I made on my own. I've been told it is worthy of submission.

My friend, the architect.

So the other day I was talking to my architect friend who was working on one of his houses. I asked him how it was going, and he said pretty well. He said the first two walls had been raised, and that they were working on the third. I looked around, but didn't see any more building materials, so I asked what about the fourth wall? He looked up and said, what? You must be joking!

What do you call a building that falls in love with its architect?

Edifice Rex

My chubby friend has been an engineer, an artist, an architect...

I guess you could say he's an all rounder

It was just discovered that islams prophet mohamed was a huge help.

A nomad happened upon mohamed and asked him what he was doing.

The architect of the Islamic faith turned red and said: *"I was just helping this goat through the fence!"*

The Oldest Profession

A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.
In the course of their arguments, they went all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was an incredible surgical feat."
The architect did not agree. He said, "But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So God must have been an architect."
The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"

Did you hear about the architect who only had aluminum sheets for stationary?

His plans were foiled.

Last week I met Mr. T's brother who, though dyslexic, worked many years as a backyard landscape architect.

Right when I asked what he did he said,


"I fitty the pool."

How do Architects handle a problem?

They Soffit!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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