Archangel Jokes

Following is our collection of michael humor and lord one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Archangel puns for adults, dirty miguel jokes or clean harps gags for kids.

There is an abundance of peter jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 3 funniest jokes on archangel. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any almighty witze you can hear about archangel.

The Best jokes about Archangel

The 10 Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.

First he goes to the French and says:

"I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?"

"Ah, oui? What do zey say?"

"For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery"

"Oh, non, non, merci, non", and they send the Angel on his way.

The Angel then goes to the Germans:

"I have new Commandments from God."

"Ja? Vat do they say?"

"Well for example: Thou shalt not kill"

The Germans shake their heads, "I think's not, nein, danke!"

The Angel, perturbed, goes to the Jews and says:

"I have new Commandments from God..."

"How much?"

"Well...they're free"

"We'll take ten."

Divorce in heaven?

A young couple, on their way to the church to get married, die in a car crash... At the pearly gates they are greeted by Archangel Michael and they immediately ask:

– Tell us, Michael, is it possible to get married in heaven?

Archangel, responds, puzzled:

– Hang on a minute, nobody asked this before, let me go and find out.

After he leaves the young couple starts to ponder what will happen if they don't get along and eventually want to get divorced? They patiently wait for Archangel's return and finally, after three months, he arrives with a smile on his face:

– Great news you two! I found out that yes, you can get married in heaven!

So the young couple says:

– Listen, Michael, we were wondering, what if we stop loving each other and want to get a divorce in the future, is that possible? Can you find out?

Archangel turns around reluctantly and heads back towards the gates, grumbling to himself:

– Three months, three months it took me to find a priest in heaven... now they want me to go and find a lawyer?!

God wants to take a vacation

But he has no idea where to go. His archangel, Michael, is helping him decide.

"How about Pluto?" He asks

"Nah, it's too cold there."

"Well, what about Saturn?"

"Nah, not a fan of the rings."

"Well then how about Earth?"

"Are you kidding me? I vacationed there 2,000 years ago, accidentally knocked this chick up, and they're still talking about it!"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes