arch Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious arch puns

Why is the archaeologist sad?

Because his career is in ruins.


Ever since I became an archeologist

My career has been in ruins


Why don't archeologists get married?

They are only interested in dating.


I have an archaeology exam tomorrow

And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...

My future's in ruins.


Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.


Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?

Because he only dated mummies.


How do you know archeologists are lonely?

Theyre always coming up with new dating techniques.


Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts.

They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.


I'm an archaeologist...

My life is in ruins.


Two archers are sipping pints in a pub.

The first archer says, "Did you see the new leathersmith? He's a beast of a man with eyes as black as night."

To which the second archer replies, "Aye, he makes me quiver".


Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest tampon ever found

They are trying to find out what period it came from


An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.

"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."

"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."

The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"


An archeologist is riding through the desert

[Another great joke from German comedian Otto Waalkes]

An archeologist is riding through the desert on his loyal horse Wallah, when he hears a voice.

*get off*


*get off*

He gets off his horse and looks around. He doesn't see anyone.

Then he hears it again.




He grabs his shovel and starts digging. After a few minutes of shoveling sand and dirt, he hits something hard.

Half an hour of digging and he is finally able to lift the heavy object from where it was buried. It's an old chest, full of gold.

He is overwhelmed by happiness.


"To Las Vegas?!"


He fills his bags with the gold and packs his horse, then rides to Las Vegas.

He doesn't hear the voice until he arrives there.


"To a casino?!"


He enters a casino and approaches a roulette table. The air is full of cigarette smoke. He's nervous. The voice says:


He places a bet on the 14 with everything he owns:

His horse, all his money and his new treasure. The 12 wins. The voice says: *fuck*


Archaeologists digging in Egypt discovered a Mummy covered in Chocolate and Nuts

Experts believe it to be a Pharaoh Roche


Why are archaeologists the most polite kind of necrophiliac?

They'll date you before they fuck you.


Why was the archeologist depressed?

because his career was in ruins


Why are archers good at building planes?

Because they're experts in arrow dynamics


Archaeologists have recently found a mummy while excavating a tomb in Egypt

Oddly enough, the mummy was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rosher.


Archaeologists excavating a pyramid in Egypt has found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts

they believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher


Archaeologists are the ultimate hipsters

They love all that underground stuff.


What do you call competitors of McDonald's?

Arch enemies.


An archery contest

Once upon a time there was an archery competition.

The first contestant, wearing a long cape covering his face, put a watermelon on a volunteer, took 100 paces away then turned and fired. The watermelon exploded. The archer took off his cape and claimed: I AM ROBINHOOD!

The second one with a hood put an apple above the volunteer head, took 200 paces and fired right through the apple. He then removed the hood and shouted: I AM BAYEK OF SIWA!

Finally, a third man with a mask lined up in position. He put a grape on the volunteer's head and went away for 500 paces. He shot, then grinned and said: ^^^^^I ^^^^^am ^^^^^sorry .


Archaeologists say that Roman cement was stronger than it is in modern times...

I need to see some concrete evidence


The Seven Dwarfs visit the Vatican to have an audience with the Pope.

The audience is going really well but Dopey keeps pulling on Doc's sleeve. Doc says, "Okay, okay I'll ask him!" He turns to the Pope and says,
"Your eminence, Dopey would like to know if there are any nuns who are dwarfs?"
Well the Pope thinks about it, and he consults with his arch bishop, and after a couple quick phone calls and whispered conversations, the Pope turns and says, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there are no nuns who are dwarfs anywhere in Rome."
At this Grumpy smacks Dopey upside the head and says, "See? I told you that you fucked a penguin!"
This joke is in honor of World Penguin Day and my girlfriend's dad who told me this joke and died later that week. I swear to God these were the last words he ever spoke to me. A fantastic, funny amazing human being.


Archaeologists digging on a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche.


A bridge killed my family...

We're arch enemies now.


When my wife was putting on her makeup, I told her that she had put too much arch in her eyebrows.

She looked surprised.


Archaeologists discover the remains of a slave-worker under famous statue in Giza

Reports claim he died of Asphinxiation


An archeologist finds three coffins. The first two have ornate drawing of a person covering each of their front sides. The third one, however, possessed only a primitive sort of stick figure. Who did the archeologist think was buried in the last coffin?

The coffin painter


Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students?

To the suspension bridge.


Why was the archaeologist sad?

Because his career was in ruins!!

Give me your downvotes; I AM FUELED BY YOUR DOWNVOTES!!!!


Archaeologists have found a tampon in the desert

They're trying to work out what period it came from.


What did one bridge say to another?

"Fuck you"

(They were arch enemies)


Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music

When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded "I'm decomposing"


Why do archeologists believe the Neanderthal mated with Homo erectus?

They've found no evidence for the theory they mated with Homo flaccidus.


What are the most funny Arch jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Arch? Well, here are the best Arch dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Arch pick up lines to share with friends.

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