Arch Jokes
98 arch jokes and hilarious arch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about arch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make everyone laugh with these hilarious jokes about Arches! These jokes, featuring St. Louis' iconic Gateway Arch, the Royal Arch masonry tradition, Arch Linux, devotion, and yes, even Gesundheit and Bosch, are sure to make any gathering more fun.
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Funniest Arch Short Jokes
Short arch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The arch humour may include short armor jokes also.
- I have a rival, but I can only fight him when we meet up under curved architectural structures. He's my arch enemy.
- You meet a vegan pilot that's running for senate that went to Havard and does crossfit. What's the first thing they tell you? "I use Arch btw"
- I stuck some pins in a Voodoo Doll of my Arch enemy
I managed to cure his backache
And help him quit smoking - My ex-best friend used to be really nice to me, but ever since they found out I have flat feet, they've been mean to me and bullying me over it. They're my arch-enemy now.
- Why did Louis XIV seize possession of an Italian triumph? To absolutely claim it as, "Mon arch"
- The Burger King King hates Ronald McDonald Not only because the represent competing restaurants, but because they both like the same girl.
Ronald is his double arch nemesis. - What did the diabetic superhero say after he lost a fight with his arch nemesis? I've been defeeted.
- Hello, I'm Hydroxide Dad. I stand for Truth and positivity. My arch nemesis is Sodium Man. He can make me Lye.
- Two chemists at a restaurant [restaurant]
Chemist 1: I'll have some H2O
Chemist 2: I'll have some H2O also
Chemist 2's arch nemesis disguised as a waiter: [under breath] so close.... - Did you know the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury practises dentistry in his spare time? The royal family go to him for all their crowns.
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Arch One Liners
Which arch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with arch? I can suggest the ones about bishop and chap.
- What do you call competitors of McDonald's? Arch enemies.
- A bridge killed my family... We're arch enemies now.
- Do you know what the arch enemies of skinheads are? Blackheads.
- Why did the bee fly in a parabolic arch? Just bee-cos.
- Who is the pirates arch-enemy? The ©.
- What is Bill Cosby's arch-nemesis? Smelling salts.
- Why did the two podiatrists hate each other? They were arch enemies.
- I'm writing a TV show about unethical podiatrists. It's called "Fallen Arches".
- Who is the original supermans arch enemy? Christopher walken.
- Who is Vanilla Ice's arch enemy? Chocolate De-Icer
- If s**... were fast food, you'd have an arch over your head.
- Who is comedian j**... Spicefeld's arch enemy? Cumin!
- Why is m**... called the gateway drug? Because you always end up at the St. Louis arch
Cheeky Arch Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about arch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean altar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make arch pranks.
Archaeologists are the ultimate hipsters
They love all that underground stuff.
An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.
The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.
"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."
"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."
The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"
An archaeologist notices his partner appears to be nibbling a fossil...
Curious, he walks over and asks, "What you got there?"
"Not sure", replies the fellow, "But you have got to try-a-lil'-bite!"
Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?
He couldn't decide what font to use.
Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?
Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.
I have an archaeology exam tomorrow
And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...
My future's in ruins.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An archeologist found a t**....
An archeologist found a t**....
He wondered what period it was from.
(Not my joke! Credit to Shane Koyczan's poet friend)
Archimedes Principle floats my boat.
Why did no one like the Archer
Because he was too arrowgant!
Why is the archaeologist sad?
Because his career is in ruins.
Why is the archaeologist depressed?
Some old stuff just got dug up
Archaeologists have found a hidden chamber in Tutankhamun's tomb
Archaeologists have found a second mummy inside Tutankhamun's tomb. The mummy appears to be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. Experts believe it is the remains of Pharaoh Rocher.
Archimedes law of bathing
When your body immersed in water, the phone rings
Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music
When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded "I'm decomposing"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archaeologists discover the remains of a s**...-worker under famous statue in Giza
Reports claim he died of Asphinxiation
why are archaeologists so proud of their study?
their work is always groundbreaking
My wife's an Archaeologist because...
She keeps on digging up the past!
What's Archduke Ferdinads favorite type of samwich?
The POW boy.
Never become an archaeologist...
your life will be in ruins.
Why are archers good at building planes?
Because they're experts in arrow dynamics
I became an architect just west of Japan.
It was a bad Korea choice.
Archaeologists have uncovered the remains of an ancient civilisation of chalk people.
They are now determining when they were wiped out.
What did the architect do at the nightclub?
He raised the roof.
why are archers usually put in charge of things?
because they are string pullers!!!!
Two archers are sipping pints in a pub.
The first archer says, "Did you see the new leathersmith? He's a beast of a man with eyes as black as night."
To which the second archer replies, "Aye, he makes me quiver".
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Why was the archaeologist sad?
Because his career was in ruins!!
Give me your downvotes; I AM FUELED BY YOUR DOWNVOTES!!!!
How do you know archeologists are lonely?
Theyre always coming up with new dating techniques.
Archeologists recently uncovered an ancient garden that was centuries old.
The romains were in great condition.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do architects, engineers and male pornstars gain fame?
Through their erections.
How often did the architect have to put long narrow paths in his blueprints?
Hallways
An architect knows
How to make a long story short.
An archaeologist is a dream job...
Because then it's okay when your life is in ruins.
Archaeologists say that Roman cement was stronger than it is in modern times...
I need to see some concrete evidence
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't archeologists get married?
They are only interested in dating.
Archaeologists recently unearthed a computer dating back to prehistoric times
It had a jurassic pterobyte of storage space
My ex should go into archaeology.
He's excellent at digging up and analyzing the past to put on display.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archaeologists discovered an ancient city in Iraq.
According to the archaeologists, ancient Iraqis looked like skeletons, lived underground, and walked lying down.
Ever since I became an archeologist
My career has been in ruins
Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students?
To the suspension bridge.
An archeologist finds three coffins. The first two have ornate drawing of a person covering each of their front sides. The third one, however, possessed only a primitive sort of stick figure. Who did the archeologist think was buried in the last coffin?
The coffin painter
You know what I like about archeologists?
You can never ruin their day
Archie: "Right guys, so it says 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21 so the next two numbers have to be 34 and 55
Me: "You've gotta be fibbing Archie"
Why do archaeologists collect used tampons?
They like to figure out what period they came from..
Archimedes wasn't just known for inventing his many inventions. He's also considered to have invented the first insult when talking to his brother who was a cheese maker after discovering a early form of lindburger cheese....
He simply stated, You reeka!
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How did the two archaeologists fall in love
Carbon dating.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Why do archaeologists get all the girls?
Because they have the best dating techniques.
An archeologist was doing his job one day...
...when he uncovered an ancient-looking stone carving in the shape of the Arabic letter D . When his site manager saw this, he told the archeologist to put it back where he found it and to never dig up something like that again. The archeologist asked the site manager why.
He replied, I like the way you're working, but no dig a D.
I regret posting this already.
What architecture can't be broken down by an earthquake?
A stable
Archery
When asked what they are aiming for,
A newbie will say precision,
A pro will say grouping,
And dads will say "the target."
Why did Archimedes take a bath?
Because his wife said "You reek-a"
What does an archeologist do in alabama?
Relative dating
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archangel Michael has just created a duck-goose with giant teeth and wants to show his magnificent creation to God.
He comes to God's presence and says: "look what beauty I made, I'm just not sure where to put it"
God thinks for a moment and says: "how about you put it in Australia with all the other nonsense you've created."
My archaeologist friend was looking sad at work, so I asked him if there was something wrong
"Of course there is!" He said.
"My work is in ruins!"
Archibald Strange was an honest lawyer (no, that isn't the joke)
He was getting old, so he went to the undertaker to plan what his grave would be.
"I want it to say 'Here lies Archibald Strange, a lawyer and an honest man,'" he said.
"I can't do that," replied the undertaker, "People would think I was burying multiple people in the same grave. I'll tell you what. It can say 'Here lies an honest lawyer.'"
"But then they won't know it's me."
"Of course they will. People will read it and say 'That's strange.'"
As an archeologist, I organized a party with my friend to help me excavate the lower leg of a T Rex fossil...
...it's going to be quite a shin dig.
Why do archaeologist lead sad lives?
Because their career lies in ruins.
Why are archeologists great husbands?
The older the wife the more they are into them
Why did the archeology student stay after class?
He had a bone to pick with his professor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy f**... in their crypt.
If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.
Why do archeologist stay annoyed?
They always have a bone to pick
What did the architect do after his wife left him?
He went back to the drawing board.
Archaeologists just excavated an ancient bank
It put them in financial ruin
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archaeologists s**... at relationships...
... that's why they are dating dinosaours
Archaeologists found a mummy adorned with ancient nut and wrapped in gold foil.
They believe it may be the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
An archeologist walks into a bar
An archeologist walks into a bar, orders a beer and gives a heavy sigh. "What's wrong?" the bartender asks. "I thought I discovered a fully intact dinosaur skeleton at my dig yesterday," the archeologist laments. "Sadly, upon further excavation today it turns out that it was just a fossil arm."
Archibald Spooner was allegedly an ornithologist.
Well, he was actually more of a word botcher.
I think this sub can do with some more archeology jokes.
But they are hard to uncover
Three archaeologists met in a seminar.
The British said: we dug very deep and found sculpted animal bones. This proves that my ancestors invented art.
The German said: we dug very deep and found a plate-size disk showing the solar system. This proves that my ancestors invented astronomy.
The Italian said: we dug very deep and didn't find any wires. This proves that my ancestors invented wifi communication.
An archaeologist once dated a woman
She was 20,000 BC
Did you know that Archaeopteryx ate worms?
After all, it's an early bird.
