Following is our collection of boyscouts humor and xenophobic one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Arabs puns for adults, dirty allah jokes or clean oman gags for kids.
There is an abundance of pacifism jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 49 funniest jokes on arabs. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any buddhists witze you can hear about arabs.
We would have IX/XI instead
Instead it would be IX / XI
In the 18th century the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.
"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"
The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?
One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.
"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"
The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Because they need a map.
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."
One orders a bottle of Champagne and asks the other "do you want some?".
The other replies "No thanks, I'll have to drive soon".
The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"
—Henny Youngman
and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Obama. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."
President Obama says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
President Obama laughs and leans toward the Saudi. "It's because it takes place in the future..."
The Arab immediately steals 3 pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing." The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's back pocket....."
We'd have CMXI
None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.
The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's back pocket....."
It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century.
And I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I am not a Jew.
Then they came for the blacks, but I did not speak out because I was not black.
Then they came for the Arabs, but I did not speak out because I am not Arab.
Then they came for the transgendered, but I did not speak out because I am not transgender.
Then they came for the feminists, but I did not speak out because I am not a feminist.
Then they stopped coming for anyone because all the problems were pretty much gone at that point.
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
The disappointed salesman of coke returns from middle east assignment. A friend asked," why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained," when I got posted in the middle east, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as cola is unknown there. But I had a problem I didn't know Arabic.
So I planned to convey this message through 3 posters. The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert. Second the man drinker cola and third man is totally refreshed. Then these posters were hanged everywhere there."
"That should have worked."said the friend.
He replied," well I didn't know Arabic neither realized that Arabs read from right to left...."
The federal government is sending most Americans a $1200 rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs.
If we buy a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras
and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it
will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on
prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced
in US.
I've been doing my part, and I thank you for your help,
the day they're Dubai.
It'd be IX/XI
IXXI
We will put gays as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.
Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.
Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.
And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.
Because goats can hear zippers.
Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.
God went to the Arabs and said: "I have Commandments that'll make your lives better."
The Arabs asked: "What are they, can you give us an example?"
God said: "Thou shall not kill."
The Arab were shocked and refused Gods offering
So he went to the Mexicans and said: "I have commandments that'll make your lives better."
When asked for an example God said: "Thou shall not steal."
The Mexicans were insulted and refused.
Lastly, God went to the Jews: "I have Co..."
Before he could finish the Jews blasted out: "HOW MUCH DO THEY COST??"
God replied: "Nothing, they're free."
The Jews answered: "Good, we shall take ten!"
They're always blowing up.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
An arab walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers
Arab: I would like 7 beers please
Because they are moo-slim.
"For my first wish," he says, "I want all the Arabs to disappear." The genie grants his wish, then he disappears.
Because they can sheik it.
They need to give the camel a break
11, you racist...
One says to the others they blow up so fast!!
Hijab
Because they're like Iraq.
Allah-peños
They just think they smell like Shiite.
The 911 porshe GTR.
5
4
3
2
1
*EXPLOSION*
because it provides cavity protection
Because they would get Sikh
They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
Of course I had to remove the Arabs, the Jews, the anchor baby, and the refugees, so all that's left is one jackass and a bunch of sheep.
Well, Ash can see Arabs, but Ashkenazi Jews
Because they don't like Jews
Their chicken has so much oil it's got the Arabs jealous.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.