Following is our collection of Arab jokes which are very funny. There are some arab consul jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these arab marketplace puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
We would have IX/XI instead
Instead it would be IX / XI
What's wrong with it? Doesn't start?
Interviewing an arab for a visa
Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast
She went to her father and told him, "An eye for an eye. My husband has slapped me, and you must avenge me"
So her father asked, "On which cheek did did he slap you?"
"He slapped my left cheek."
So the father slapper his daughter on the right and said, "Be happy, I have avenged you. You can tell your husband that he has slapped my daughter, but I have slapped his wife"
*Joke borrowed from Les Miserables, written in 1862.*
A man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get back home.
But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.
A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
Because they need a map.
A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
Consul: Your name please?
Arab: Abu Zina.
Consul: Sex?
Arab: Every day.
Consul: Er, I mean, male or female?
Arab: Don't matter, sometimes even Camel.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows and donkey too.
Consul: Isn't that hostile?
Arab: Hosstyle, Dogstyle, any style!.
Consul: Oh dear!
Arab: No deer! run too fast.
The manager of the store walks up to the boy and asks "what does your mother look like?" The boy replies " I don't know".
You can explore arab isreali reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arab arabic dad jokes. There are also arab puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
milk sheikh
Anything that makes people who aren't white Americans embarrassed or angry, is racist.
A Milk Sheikh.
...the bartender yells "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."
I would rate black jokes a 3/5 and arab jokes a 9/11
None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.
Their names are Amil and Abed.
A milk sheikh
ouch, says the other arab
1272AD - Arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.
1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.
An American teen girl gets stoned *before* she has sex.
"Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'
Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Well that's what happens when you don't keep any Jews around to manage your money.
I was kinda shocked when I saw him and looked on him with suspicion. Then he understood what I was thinking and approaching me, he said, "Not all Muslims are terrorists" and we laughed so hard that his grenades fell out of his pocket.
Very satisfying.
Protein Sheikh
What do you call a drunk Arab?
Hammad.
What do you call a really drunk Arab?
Mohammad.
there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football. " I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus.. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see someone else's god? "
One orders a bottle of Champagne and asks the other "do you want some?".
The other replies "No thanks, I'll have to drive soon".
The condom was made of goat intestines. In 1844, a British scientist revolutionized the condom by removing the intestines from the goat first
Bisexual.
the day they're Dubai.
And says "here are your Pringles sir" The Arab guest looks at the box of potato chips for a few minutes appearing confused. Finally he says, "Wallah Habibi, I said bring girls"
It was pretty boring, all they threw were high jabs.
It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century.
- name?
- ahmed al-rhazib.
- sex?
- three to five times a week.
- no, no… i mean male or female?
- male, female, sometimes camel.
- holy cow!
- yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- but isn't that hostile?
- horse style, doggy style, any style!
- oh dear!
- no, no! deer run too fast
Because they are already covered.
One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.
"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"
The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?"
The American says: "I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!"
The English says: "I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football ("soccer") team!"
The Arab guy says: "I have 17 wifes. One more, and I can make a golf course!"
Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."
BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."
In an explosion.
- Yemen!
What does an Arab guy say when something upsets him?
- Oman...
A Protein Sheikh
Someone who drops allahu akbars.
He's known far and wide as the Milk Sheikh
Along with 500 passengers and an entire jet
blows itself up
It would be IX/XI instead.
- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait
1. Israel
It'd be IX/XI
Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate
...at a convention.
''I am happily married,'' said the Englishman, ''and have 10 children. One more and I shall have my own football team."
''I am happily married,'' said the Welshman ''and have 14 children. One more and I shall have my own Rugby team."
''I am also happily married,'' said the Arab ''and have 17 wives. One more and I shall have my own Golf course.''
Because goats can hear zippers.
The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.
The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.
...he was really killing Mahmoud
We'd have CMXI
A Protein Sheikh....
Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.
"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"
The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?
OMAN...
I said, Sure. But I don't think that's how it's pronounced .
Inshalladas
So I yelled out to him, "what's the matter, Omar? Won't it start?"
M'hammad.
Al Gebra
An arab at airport:
\- Name?
\- Abdul Al Razhib.
\- Sex?
\- Three to five times a week.
\- No, no, I mean: male or female?
\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.
\- Holly cow!
\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.
\- But isn't that hostile?
\- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
\- Oh, dear!
\- No, no... deer run to fast!
Hassan Bin Laid
Iran
We would have IX/XI
*An Arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
They were having a Sheik up
But isis
Their husband
a dumb guy fell down and hurt his back badly, he had to go to the hospital
the doctor told him: "just take this cream and apply it to the area of injury"
he went home and rubbed the cream on the staircase.
Isn't called IX/XI
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the arab saudi jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working arab islamic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.