Aquarium Jokes
71 aquarium jokes and hilarious aquarium puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aquarium that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your next aquarium visit more fun with these hilarious jokes about fish, tanks, and more. Whether you have a betta, a tank full of fish, or a marine aquarium, this collection of aquarium jokes will keep you laughing.
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Funniest Aquarium Short Jokes
Short aquarium jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aquarium humour may include short fish tank jokes also.
- Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds? Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
- I took my kids to the aquarium. "If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!" I suggested to my son.
"Grow up," said the woman behind the ticket booth. - Today I learnt a school of piranhas will rip every inch of flesh of a child's body in under a minute.
Today I also lost my job at the aquarium. - You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium
- Today I found out that it takes a school of piranha 1 minute to devour a child. However, I have now lost my job in the aquarium.
- I recently read that it's beneficial to your mental well being to share your bed with your pets... ... but in hindsight, I probably should have left them in the aquarium.
- I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
- My Japanese carp recently got a new aquarium, but they're hiding in rocks and not coming out so much. They're acting a bit koi.
- Have you ever had the feeling to push someone into a shark tank at an aquarium? Anyways, I lost my job as a shark trainer today.
- Did you know piranhas can eat up the body entirely upto the bones in 45 seconds ? Me neither. Anyway, I lost the job at the aquarium.
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Aquarium One Liners
Which aquarium one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aquarium? I can suggest the ones about aquatic and ocean.
- I kept asking the aquarium owner about the walking fish. He said 'you axolotl questions!'
- I'm really glad I finally got a saltwater aquarium It really tide the room together
- How do you make an aquarium sound better? You tuna fish
- What do you get when you mix human DNA with whale DNA? Thrown out of the aquarium
- Aquarium decorations on clearance! Sorry, no reef funds.
- I caught my first fish today! Unfortunately, i got kicked out of the aquarium.
- A sea lion escaped from the Atlanta Aquarium... I heard they had to re-seal the tank...
- How do you get fish for an aquarium? You acquire 'em.
- What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen? Oxygen defishent.
- What is Rick Grimes' favorite exhibit at the aquarium? Coraaaaaaaal
- Me: The place with more tanks? My GF: IDK, a war?
Me: An aquarium - How do you make dolphins happy in aquariums? By giving them Endor-fins!
- My aquarium is missing quite a few parts #nofilter
- "This sushi is terrible." "Sir, this is an aquarium."
- Why did the philosopher go to the aquarium? To find his porpoise...
Aquarium Fish Jokes
Here is a list of funny aquarium fish jokes and even better aquarium fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So if a place to view birds is an Aviary, and a place to view fish is a aquarium, where do you view pigs? Congress
- What do you call an aquarium that has only one kind of fish? The Aquarium of the Specific
- What do you call aquarium with two male betta fish? Betta royale.
- Dad: Don't worry about her, son, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Son: Dad, we're goldfish. We live in an aquarium.
- Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium? He was sleeping with the fishes.
- Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
- What did the new fish say to the old fish as it was added to the aquarium? Take me to your feeder.
- What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium? WATER YOU DOING
- I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST.
- How to determine s**... of aquarium fish? Easy. Give it some food. If he eats it, then it's a male, if she eats it, then it's a female.
Uproarious Aquarium Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about aquarium you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean animal zoo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aquarium pranks.
TIL that a school of piranhas can s**... all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...
On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...
What's the difference...
What's the difference between a chef and a perverted aquarium owner?
One fixes dishes and the other d**... his fishes.
Sure, Aphrodite poses n**... in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess.
But when I do it, I'm ''drunk' and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium'.
I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today...
The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him "I don't care what starsign it is."
I went in to a pet shop.
I said, Can I buy a goldfish?
The guy said, Do you want an aquarium?
I said, "I don't care what astrological sign it is."
Society is full of double standards
For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half n**..., singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"
But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".
Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)
An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."
TIL that a school of piranhas are able to s**... all the flesh off of a child in under two minutes.
Sadly, I was also fired from the aquarium.
I clean my kids' aquariums but they don't appreciate it...
It's a case of tanks but no thanks.
It only costs 1 penny to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping or dressed as a dolphin...
So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!
I went to the pet shop the other day.
I'd like to buy a goldfish, I said.
Do you want an aquarium? they asked.
I said, I don't care what star sign he is.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the endangered Mollusk exhibit?
An aquarium employee ran up to the railing and shouted "I'll go get help, don't move a mussel!
Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for indecent exposure at the aquarium?
The sicko likes to cuttlefish.
Did you know that a school of piranha can devour a whole 3-year old child in under 30 seconds?
On another subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Did you know a piranha can devour a small child down to the bone is less than 30 seconds?
So anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today...
Fun fact: Did you know that a shoal of piranhas can devour a small child in 30 seconds?
Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today. :/
Did you know that a piranha can eat a child in 40 seconds?
Anyway, changing the subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today
I was arrested for i**... fishing even though there was clearly no "fishing prohibited" sign...
...apparently that's "very clear" if you're in a hotel lobby with an aquarium.
I got arrested for i**... fishing, even though there weren't any 'no fishing' signs.
Apparently if it's an aquarium in a hotel lobby, you don't need a sign.
At the entrance to the aquarium there was a sign that said "No dogs".
I thought, "What sort of aquarium *does* have dogs?"
A man once came across an armoured aquarium.
He said to himself, "This thing's built like a tank."
My wife said you're a pisces, you live outside of the box
I told her no, I live outside of the aquarium. She didn't laugh :(
So when Aphrodite sprawls out bare-a**... n**... in a giant clam shell, she's a "goddess."
But when I do it, supposedly I'm "a drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium."
Did you know that a school of hungry piranhas can eat a man's flesh in a minute?
Sadly, I also lost my job at the aquarium.
An endangered penguin escapes from its habitat, and manages to get into a swordfish tank.
The aquarium staff begin to freak out as the swordfish begins to attack the penguin, but their fears are dispersed as the penguin manages to get the upper hand, and beat back its assaulter.
As the staff look on in stunned silence, one turns to the other. "I guess it's true, the penguin is mightier than the swordfish." he says.
Yeah, the setup is lame, but the punchline is pretty good.
Besides, I have faith you'll like it.
After all, a good pun is its own re-word.
