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Aquarium Jokes

70 aquarium jokes and hilarious aquarium puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aquarium that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next aquarium visit more fun with these hilarious jokes about fish, tanks, and more. Whether you have a betta, a tank full of fish, or a marine aquarium, this collection of aquarium jokes will keep you laughing.

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Funniest Aquarium Short Jokes

Short aquarium jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aquarium humour may include short fish tank jokes also.

  1. I took my kids to the aquarium. "If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!" I suggested to my son.
    "Grow up," said the woman behind the ticket booth.
  2. I recently read that it's beneficial to your mental well being to share your bed with your pets... ... but in hindsight, I probably should have left them in the aquarium.
  3. I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
  4. My Japanese carp recently got a new aquarium, but they're hiding in rocks and not coming out so much. They're acting a bit koi.
  5. Have you ever had the feeling to push someone into a shark tank at an aquarium? Anyways, I lost my job as a shark trainer today.
  6. I went in to a pet shop. I said, Can I buy a goldfish?
    The guy said, Do you want an aquarium?
    I said, "I don't care what astrological sign it is."
  7. At the entrance to the aquarium there was a sign that said "No dogs". I thought, "What sort of aquarium *does* have dogs?"
  8. My wife said you're a pisces, you live outside of the box I told her no, I live outside of the aquarium. She didn't laugh :(
  9. I clean my kids' aquariums but they don't appreciate it... It's a case of tanks but no thanks.
  10. A man once came across an armoured aquarium. He said to himself, "This thing's built like a tank."

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Aquarium One Liners

Which aquarium one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aquarium? I can suggest the ones about aquatic and ocean.

  1. I kept asking the aquarium owner about the walking fish. He said 'you axolotl questions!'
  2. I'm really glad I finally got a saltwater aquarium It really tide the room together
  3. How do you make an aquarium sound better? You tuna fish
  4. Aquarium decorations on clearance! Sorry, no reef funds.
  5. I caught my first fish today! Unfortunately, i got kicked out of the aquarium.
  6. A sea lion escaped from the Atlanta Aquarium... I heard they had to re-seal the tank...
  7. How do you get fish for an aquarium? You acquire 'em.
  8. What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen? Oxygen defishent.
  9. What is Rick Grimes' favorite exhibit at the aquarium? Coraaaaaaaal
  10. Me: The place with more tanks? My GF: IDK, a war?
    Me: An aquarium
  11. How do you make dolphins happy in aquariums? By giving them Endor-fins!
  12. My aquarium is missing quite a few parts #nofilter
  13. "This sushi is terrible." "Sir, this is an aquarium."
  14. Why did the philosopher go to the aquarium? To find his porpoise...
  15. I never get bored at my aquarium job... It keeps me octopi-ed

Aquarium Fish Jokes

Here is a list of funny aquarium fish jokes and even better aquarium fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So if a place to view birds is an Aviary, and a place to view fish is a aquarium, where do you view pigs? Congress
  • What do you call an aquarium that has only one kind of fish? The Aquarium of the Specific
  • What do you call aquarium with two male betta fish? Betta royale.
  • Dad: Don't worry about her, son, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Son: Dad, we're goldfish. We live in an aquarium.
  • Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium? He was sleeping with the fishes.
  • Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
  • What did the new fish say to the old fish as it was added to the aquarium? Take me to your feeder.
  • What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium? WATER YOU DOING
  • I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST.
Aquarium joke, I put coffee in my aquarium filter.

Uproarious Aquarium Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about aquarium you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean animal zoo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aquarium pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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TIL that a school of piranhas can s**... all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...


On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the difference...

What's the difference between a chef and a perverted aquarium owner?
One fixes dishes and the other d**... his fishes.

Aquarium

Dude I: How do know if a fish is male or female?
Dude II: I don't know. How?
Dude I: Well, you take some bread and feed the fishes a little bit... and if she ate it, then it's a female, and if he ate it, then it's a male.

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Society is full of double standards

For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half n**..., singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"
But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".

"I can see the glass ceiling! DOWN WITH THE GLASS CEILING!"

"Megan, we're in an aquarium! NO!"

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

My son kept begging me to take him to an aquarium...

So I brought him to a McDonald's. There's tons of big whales and it's much cheaper!

It only costs 1 penny to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping or dressed as a dolphin...

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince

But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium

Did you hear about the guy who fell into the endangered Mollusk exhibit?

An aquarium employee ran up to the railing and shouted "I'll go get help, don't move a mussel!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for indecent exposure at the aquarium?

The sicko likes to cuttlefish.

A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him
Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!
My boss looked so surprised and asked
Fur-eel man?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you know that a school of piranha can devour a whole 3-year old child in under 30 seconds?

On another subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

I bought some plastic plants for my aquarium. I was going to get the real ones...

but I knew I would forget to water them.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Fun fact: Did you know that a shoal of piranhas can devour a small child in 30 seconds?

Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today. :/

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you know that a piranha can eat a child in 40 seconds?

Anyway, changing the subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Today I found out that it takes a school of piranha 1 minute to devour a child.

However, I have now lost my job in the aquarium.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I got arrested for i**... fishing, even though there weren't any 'no fishing' signs.

Apparently if it's an aquarium in a hotel lobby, you don't need a sign.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

So when Aphrodite sprawls out bare-a**... n**... in a giant clam shell, she's a "goddess."

But when I do it, supposedly I'm "a drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium."

An endangered penguin escapes from its habitat, and manages to get into a swordfish tank.

The aquarium staff begin to freak out as the swordfish begins to attack the penguin, but their fears are dispersed as the penguin manages to get the upper hand, and beat back its assaulter.
As the staff look on in stunned silence, one turns to the other. "I guess it's true, the penguin is mightier than the swordfish." he says.

Yeah, the setup is lame, but the punchline is pretty good.
Besides, I have faith you'll like it.
After all, a good pun is its own re-word.

Aquarium joke, An endangered penguin escapes from its habitat, and manages to get into a swordfish tank.

jokes about aquarium