The Best 53 Aquarium Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Aquarium jokes. There are some aquarium dolphin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these aquarium porpoise puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Aquarium Jokes and Puns

TIL that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...

On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds?

Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Me: The place with more tanks?

My GF: IDK, a war?

Me: An aquarium

Aquarium joke, Me: The place with more tanks?

What's the difference...

What's the difference between a chef and a perverted aquarium owner?
One fixes dishes and the other dicks his fishes.

"This sushi is terrible."

"Sir, this is an aquarium."

What happens when an aquarium leaks into a zoo?

It becomes OTTER PANDA-monium


Dude I: How do know if a fish is male or female?

Dude II: I don't know. How?

Dude I: Well, you take some bread and feed the fishes a little bit... and if she ate it, then it's a female, and if he ate it, then it's a male.

Aquarium joke, Aquarium

My aquarium is missing quite a few parts


I took my kids to the aquarium.

"If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!" I suggested to my son.

"Grow up," said the woman behind the ticket booth.

Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium?

He was sleeping with the fishes.

I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today...

The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him "I don't care what starsign it is."

You can explore aquarium aquatic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aquarium carp dad jokes. There are also aquarium puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

I went in to a pet shop.

I said, Can I buy a goldfish?

The guy said, Do you want an aquarium?

I said, "I don't care what astrological sign it is."

Today I learnt a school of piranhas will rip

every inch of flesh of a child's body in under a minute.
Today I also lost my job at the aquarium.

I never get bored at my aquarium job...

It keeps me octopi-ed

Philip Glass spent the night at the aquarium, but his bed was a little fishy.

There was a koi on his cot, see.

Aquarium joke, Philip Glass spent the night at the aquarium, but his bed was a little fishy.

Society is full of double standards

For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"

But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".

I used to work at an aquarium...

It was destroyed in a flood, and I feel like I've lost my porpoise

Your mom is so ugly...

she was walking through the Aquarium and a Walrus unlocked her iPhone X.

"I can see the glass ceiling! DOWN WITH THE GLASS CEILING!"

"Megan, we're in an aquarium! NO!"

What is Rick Grimes' favorite exhibit at the aquarium?


Why did the philosopher go to the aquarium?

To find his porpoise...

I'm really glad I finally got a saltwater aquarium

It really tide the room together

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

My son kept begging me to take him to an aquarium...

So I brought him to a McDonald's. There's tons of big whales and it's much cheaper!

So if a place to view birds is an Aviary, and a place to view fish is a aquarium, where do you view pigs?


TIL that a school of piranhas are able to strip all the flesh off of a child in under two minutes.

Sadly, I was also fired from the aquarium.

Have you ever had the feeling to push someone into a shark tank at an aquarium?

Anyways, I lost my job as a shark trainer today.

My girlfriend's unique selling point...

Is the back of the local aquarium, if anyone's interested.

It only costs 1 penny to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping or dressed as a dolphin...

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

I went to the pet shop the other day.

I'd like to buy a goldfish, I said.

Do you want an aquarium? they asked.

I said, I don't care what star sign he is.

What do you call aquarium with two male betta fish?

Betta royale.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince

But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium

Did you hear about the guy who fell into the endangered Mollusk exhibit?

An aquarium employee ran up to the railing and shouted "I'll go get help, don't move a mussel!

I got arrested for shooting up a school.

Apparently, I failed to notice signs prohibiting photography in the aquarium.

Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for indecent exposure at the aquarium?

The sicko likes to cuttlefish.

A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!

My boss looked so surprised and asked

Fur-eel man?

I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?"

The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

I went in to a pet shop. I said, Can I buy a goldfish?

The guy said, Do you want an aquarium?

I don't care what star sign it is!

What do you call an aquarium filled with liquid nitrogen?

Oxygen defishent.

Did you know that a school of piranha can devour a whole 3-year old child in under 30 seconds?

On another subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

I bought some plastic plants for my aquarium. I was going to get the real ones...

but I knew I would forget to water them.

Did you know a piranha can devour a small child down to the bone is less than 30 seconds?

So anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today...

Fun fact: Did you know that a shoal of piranhas can devour a small child in 30 seconds?

Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today. :/

Did you know that a piranha can eat a child in 40 seconds?

Anyway, changing the subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today

I was arrested for illegal fishing even though there was clearly no "fishing prohibited" sign...

...apparently that's "very clear" if you're in a hotel lobby with an aquarium.

I caught my first fish today!

Unfortunately, i got kicked out of the aquarium.

Today I found out that it takes a school of piranha 1 minute to devour a child.

However, I have now lost my job in the aquarium.

I got arrested for illegal fishing, even though there weren't any 'no fishing' signs.

Apparently if it's an aquarium in a hotel lobby, you don't need a sign.

I recently read that it's beneficial to your mental well being to share your bed with your pets...

... but in hindsight, I probably should have left them in the aquarium.

I kept asking the aquarium owner about the walking fish.

He said 'you axolotl questions!'

At the entrance to the aquarium there was a sign that said "No dogs".

I thought, "What sort of aquarium *does* have dogs?"

How do you make an aquarium sound better?

You tuna fish

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the aquarium krill jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working aquarium piranha piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes