apron Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious apron puns

Waiter and the soup spoon

A man is at a restaurant and gets soup before his entree. He notices right away that he doesn't have a spoon, so he asks the waiter for a spoon. The waiter promptly pulls one out of the pocket of his apron. The man says, "Wow, you carry a spoon around with you in your pocket? That's pretty smart."

The waiter replies, "Yeah, I've worked here for a while so I've learned a lot of tricks to help make my day easier."

The man starts eating his soup. When he sees the waiter again he asks him, "You said you have a lot of smart ideas about work. What else have you come up with working here?"

The waiter says, "Well, before work, I tie a string around my penis so I can pull it out of my pants without touching it. Then I can pee at work and I don't have to wash my hands before I go back to work."

The man says, "I like that idea....but how do you get it back into your pants?"

The waiter says, "Well that's what I use my spoon for."


I was having trouble dating but a girl finally asked me if I wanted to get coffee today.

Sure she was wearing an apron and standing behind a register but still, my pick up game is getting better.


A mother cleaning her adolescent sons room finds a stash of hardcore German S&M porno mags...

Mortified, she puts them back so he won't know, but hides one in her apron to show her husband. Later that night they're in bed and she shows him the magazine... The father chuckles at first, assuming it was a Playboy, or Penthouse, but quickly becomes horrified at the images of whippings, and ball gags, and leather degradation... After an awkward moment the mother asks, "What do you think we should do"? Her husband thinks for a moment, then replies, " I have no idea, but I'm damn sure we shouldn't spank him".


After days of driving, a trucker walks into a empty small-town diner and sees three signs above the counter.

The first reads "Hamburger: $5," the second reads "Cheeseburger: $6," and the third reads "Handjob: $10." As the man approached, a beautiful young woman dressed in an apron came out from the kitchen and asked coyly, "What can I do for you, hon?"

"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" asked the trucker.

"Why yes," answered the woman with a knowing smile. "Yes I am."

"Well then go wash your fucking hands, because I want a cheeseburger."


A YouTuber becomes a doctor...

This surgery is sponsored by Blue Apron!


I got banned from Home Depot today

A man in an orange apron walked up to me and asked me if I wanted decking. Luckily I got the first punch in!


Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!

Lucky I got the first punch in.


Some chump in an orange apron in B&Q just asked me if I wanted decking...

Fortunately I got the first punch in.


My Boss: You're fired.

Me: *turns in apron and menu*

My Boss: You're a cop where did you get those


I got banned from B&Q in Glasgow today

Some cunt came up to me in an orange apron and asked me if I wanted decking. Luckily I got the first punch in.


My friend is upset because her boyfriend won't eat out anymore since they got a meal delivery service.

She says she's going to try putting a blue apron sticker on her box and see what happens.


What's under the Pillsbury Doughboy's apron?



Whats so free about the Freemasons?

You have to lift the apron to find out


Does Snoop Dog wear and apron when he cooks?

Yes, for sizzles.


What does the Pillsbury Dough boy hide under his apron?

Dough nuts!


What are the most funny Apron jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Apron? Well, here are the best Apron dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Apron pick up lines to share with friends.


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