Uproarious April Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
A: Separatists and small pox.
I just ran over my dog.
April fools! I don't know whose dog it was.
Little Billy had been blind since birth...
...and one night his mom tells him "If you pray extra hard tonight God will allow you see in the morning."
So little Billy prayed his heart out before going to sleep that night. The next morning he opened his eyes and to his surprise he screamed out.
"Mommy I still can't see!"
"I know son, April fools."
In April of 1620, it rained. That same year, the Pilgrims arrived.
I suppose the saying is true. April showers bring Mayflowers.
April showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
What do Pilgrims bring?
Smallpox
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Old Native American joke
A young Indian boy was curious about how he got his name. He asked the chief, "Chief, how do we get our names?"
The Chief answers him, "We give names by what is outside of the teepee during ones birth.
"When your mom was born, it was a beautiful April day, so we named her BlueSky.
"After your dad's birth we were greeted by a majestic deer, so we named him WhiteTail."
The chief looked at the boy a little puzzled,
"Why do you ask BearFuckingBear?"
Can Feburary March?
No. But April May
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May Flowers bring?
Genocide
April 1st, officially the worst day of the year to have a cardiac arrest.
What do you call a female clown?
April Fools
You can explore april apr reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean april nov dad jokes. There are also april puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Corny jokes!
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it's two-tired.
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the Ark Hives!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?
A: Homiecide
"Fish tanks are stupid!"
"Why?"
"Fish don't even have any militaries!"
April showers bring May flowers...
...but Mayflowers bring smallpox.
What is Mr. T's favorite month?
April, fools
Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?
Because they have just finished a 31 day March.
Girlfriend said "I think I'm pregnant, I'm two weeks late..
..April fools!"
How many seconds are there in one year?
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
Mum, father hanged himself!
A little boy runs to his mum crying: "Mum, Mum", he screams, "Father hanged himself!"
"Where is he hanging?", his mum asks.
"In the attic!", the boy says.
So the mum and her son go to the attic but nobody's there.
"But he isn't there", says the mum in relief.
Then her son says: "April Fool! He's hanging in the basement!"
'Knock knock'
'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '
TIFU by delivering a punch line in the wrong place at the wrong time
April Fools!
What's the name of Mr. T's girlfriend?
April, fools
Why was the soldier tired on April 1st?
He had just come through a 31-day March.
Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."
His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"
Trump replied, "Prevent it?"
"Sir, I'm gonna' let you off with a warning..."
"THANK YOU SO MUCH OFFIC----"
"April Fools....sign here."
April 1st Operation
(Doctor walks out of operation room. A man quickly reached the doctor.)
"How's my wife? How's my baby?"
"Well your wife is okay, but... Your baby... umm..."
(Man starts crying)
"APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHA! Jokes on you!" (laugh)
(Man starts laughing with the doctor.)
"The fact is your wife died as well."
Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April....
....but that's fine, my life is already a joke.
So it's April 2nd
And my wife's still pregnant...
Billy's mom comes home to see him crying...
Billy, what's wrong son?
Dad hanged himself in the attic! replied Billy, "eyes in tears".
The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.
As she gets up to the attic she notices that nothing is there and little Billy started giggling...
HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!!
He hanged himself in the basement!
I cheated on you
She: "I cheated on you"
He: "Me too"
She: "April, 1"
He: "March, 20"
Easter this year is April Fools Day
Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
Easter is on April 1st this year.
Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.
Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)
What's Mr T's favourite month?
April, Fools.
The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day...
...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.
I'm so happy and I don't want to die
^^April ^^fools
For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.
I have no words to say how angry I am.
What did the first person to get "April Fooled" say?
Jesus! I thought you were dead!
I don't care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,
but April identifying as January is crossing the line.
Why do native Americans hate April?
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
April showers bring Mayflowers.
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.
The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
Where were you on the night of October to April?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can't read so I'm relatively sure she didn't find it here.
April Fools!
girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father
guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!
girl: haha! got me! you're not the father
I hate all of you
April fools I love you all
Why is World Autism Day after April Fools' Day?
Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.
April Fools Day............
The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
Roses are red April is grey joke
Roses are red April is grey, but in a few days it's gonna be May.
Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April
He simply forgot to say 2021.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since
A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"
Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"
After this is all over
was a fun thing to say back in April
Did you know bees become indecisive after April?
They become maybees.
Year 2020 passed like a kid reciting the alphabet.
January — ABCD...
February — EFG...
March — HIJK...
April to December — ELEMENOP.
I played an April Fool's joke on my parkour team this morning.
They all fell for it.
My mom told me she hated me today
She forgot to say April Fools
Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station?
It was an April fuels joke.
Why are soldiers so tired at the beginning of April?
They just had a 31 day March.
Can February march?
I'm not sure, but April may.
Professor: April, you are failing my class.
April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I'm sure we can fix this. I'll do annnything to pass.
Professor: {gulp} anything?
April: YES! Anything you can dream up.
Professor: Will you…… study?
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath,
"Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
If April Showers bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring?
Smallpox.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
I'll be here all week folks, try the veal.
If January threw a parade
Would February March?
No, but April May
i hope it wasnt here already
Putin asks a fairy: Where will I be in april?
The fairy answers: I see you in a limo driving through kiev, the war between Russia and Ukraine has ended, everyone is cheering.
Putin: Am I waving to them?
Fairy: No, the coffin is closed.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Hay fever
Admit it, you thought I was gonna say pilgrims, didn't you?
In a couple weeks, all gas stations are going to cut prices in half for a whole day
April Fuels!
A man from northern Alaska is on trial…
The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, Where were you in the night from October to April?
Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?
January = Greg
February = Ian
March = Greg
April = Ian
May = Ian
June = Greg
July = Ian
August = Greg
September = Greg
October = Ian
November = Greg
December = Ian
How many seconds in a year?
12.
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd….
Can February March?
No, but April May.
I'll see myself out.
How many Seconds are in a year?
12!
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
