The Best 23 Approximately Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Approximately jokes. There are some approximately thirty jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these approximately average puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Approximately Jokes and Puns
Ferrari
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each
month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20
years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink beer?
Woman:
No
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?
Leonid Brezhnev, Soviet General Secretary, calls his head of the KGB, Yuri Andropov, into his office...
Brezhnev: "Comrade, how many Jews do we have in the Soviet Union?"
Andropov: "Approximately five million, Comrade."
Brezhnev: "And how many Jews do you think would leave if we allowed them to?"
Andropov: "Approximately 20 million, Comrade."
How long does it take for an Irish man to get to a .08 BAC?
Approximately 2 days of sobriety.
Who was the roundest member of Sir Arthurs round table?
Sir Cumference.
He at too much Pi.
He ate approximately 3.142 slices
The FBI made a big marijuana bust recently.
The took the approximately 2 tons of weed to a landfill and had it incinerated. However, the EPA stepped in and showed concern for the multitude of seagulls flying overhead. You know what their study discovered? That there was no tern left unstoned.
What do you call a snake that is approximately 3.14 feet long?
A Οthon
Approximately eighty million Americans are obese.
But those are just round figures.
The Unconditional Love Test
In order to find out whose love is truly unconditional.... lock both your wife & dog in the trunk of your car for approximately 15-30 minutes. When you open the trunk, who is excited to see you? That's your answer.
*DO NOT try this at home. This is a joke and I cannot be held responsible for any idiotic attempts at the aforementioned Unconditional Love Test.
In Colombia, kids have built a snowman.
The police guessed snowman's value at approximately $400 million.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Approximately -0.8959441702
Why was the six afraid of the seven?
Approximately 0.3583.
Or cos(789)
You can explore approximately million reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean approximately forty dad jokes. There are also approximately puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A guy was robbed in the park.
He called the police. After 10 minutes, a policeman arrived.
He asked: "Can you describe the person?"
The guy answered: " Yeah. It was a man, he had a beard, was really big, approximately 1.95m."
The policeman looked confused and said: "Wow, that's a pretty long beard. can't be too hard to find him!"
Why the Dinosaurs Died
It has been shown that the moon is moving away from us at a tiny (but measurable) distance each year. Therefore, if you do the maths, you will find that eighty-five million years ago it would've killed many, if not all the dinosaurs, by orbiting at an elevation of approximately thirty-five feet.
One for the classical music fans [OC]
For those who aren't, Herbert von Karajan was an acclaimed symphony conductor in the 20th century. You need to know that his name is pronounced approximately "KAHRY-on."
Not many people know it, but the maestro actually had a second career outside of music, he was a successful luggage designer.
I mean, surely you've heard of...Karajan Luggage?
The sun is 92.96 million miles from earth
Or approximately 8 CVS receipts
Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?
Cause you can distribute your sample over me
What does an approximately normal statistician eat for lunch?
A large CLT
Approximately how many cows does it take to stock a grocery store with beef?
Most of them won't even show up to work, but if you can get them there, two should be able to handle the job.
Preparations for parenthood.
Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.
Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
Men: to prepare for paternity, go to your local drug store, dump the contents of your wallet on the counter and give it the pharmacist. Then, go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary direct-deposit to their headquarters. Go home, pick up the paper and read it for the very last time.
On a scale of 1 to β, the number 10 billion is approximately 12 times larger than the number 382.
Just found out approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered...
Fine then. Keep your sea crits.
The newest studies show that...
approximately 50% of all armless people have no rights, yet none acts.
In 2009, it cost approximately 53,000 dollars to fly a troop to Iraq, and nearly double that to fly them back.
Probably because of all the extra baggage.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the approximately per jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working approximately kilometres piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.