Humorous Approximately Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
There are approximately 6.02*10^23 guacas in a guacamole.
This is known as avocado's number.
Ferrari
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each
month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20
years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink beer?
Woman:
No
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?
Fun fact Mt.Everest grows by approximately 44 millimeters every year.
when will it everest
Leonid Brezhnev, Soviet General Secretary, calls his head of the KGB, Yuri Andropov, into his office...
Brezhnev: "Comrade, how many Jews do we have in the Soviet Union?"
Andropov: "Approximately five million, Comrade."
Brezhnev: "And how many Jews do you think would leave if we allowed them to?"
Andropov: "Approximately 20 million, Comrade."
Approximately 70 percent of the earth is covered by water. Only 1 percent of this water is drinkable.
Therefore 69 is dirty.
How long does it take for an Irish man to get to a .08 BAC?
Approximately 2 days of sobriety.
Who was the roundest member of Sir Arthurs round table?
Sir Cumference.
He at too much Pi.
He ate approximately 3.142 slices
The FBI made a big marijuana bust recently.
The took the approximately 2 tons of weed to a landfill and had it incinerated. However, the EPA stepped in and showed concern for the multitude of seagulls flying overhead. You know what their study discovered? That there was no tern left unstoned.
What do you call a snake that is approximately 3.14 feet long?
A Οthon
How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit?
Approximately 1 GB.
Scientists have today discovered that dark matter actually does not exist.
The source of the unknown mass in the galaxy was never dark matter, but the result of a calculation mistake.
The scientists admit that they forgot to include your mother in the calculations, and therefor the last (approximately) 80% of the mass in the Milky Way has finally been discovered.
You can explore approximately million reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean approximately forty dad jokes. There are also approximately puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Approximately eighty million Americans are obese.
But those are just round figures.
The Unconditional Love Test
In order to find out whose love is truly unconditional.... lock both your wife & dog in the trunk of your car for approximately 15-30 minutes. When you open the trunk, who is excited to see you? That's your answer.
*DO NOT try this at home. This is a joke and I cannot be held responsible for any idiotic attempts at the aforementioned Unconditional Love Test.
In Colombia, kids have built a snowman.
The police guessed snowman's value at approximately $400 million.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Approximately -0.8959441702
Why was the six afraid of the seven?
Approximately 0.3583.
Or cos(789)
An astronomer is drinking Bud Light with another astronomer and asks How many of these do you think it'll take for me to get drunk?
The other astronomer replies: Approximately 6.5 light beers
A guy was robbed in the park.
He called the police. After 10 minutes, a policeman arrived.
He asked: "Can you describe the person?"
The guy answered: " Yeah. It was a man, he had a beard, was really big, approximately 1.95m."
The policeman looked confused and said: "Wow, that's a pretty long beard. can't be too hard to find him!"
Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?
Cause you can distribute your sample over me
Why the Dinosaurs Died
It has been shown that the moon is moving away from us at a tiny (but measurable) distance each year. Therefore, if you do the maths, you will find that eighty-five million years ago it would've killed many, if not all the dinosaurs, by orbiting at an elevation of approximately thirty-five feet.
One for the classical music fans [OC]
For those who aren't, Herbert von Karajan was an acclaimed symphony conductor in the 20th century. You need to know that his name is pronounced approximately "KAHRY-on."
Not many people know it, but the maestro actually had a second career outside of music, he was a successful luggage designer.
I mean, surely you've heard of...Karajan Luggage?
The sun is 92.96 million miles from earth
Or approximately 8 CVS receipts
What does an approximately normal statistician eat for lunch?
A large CLT
Preparations for parenthood.
Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.
Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
Men: to prepare for paternity, go to your local drug store, dump the contents of your wallet on the counter and give it the pharmacist. Then, go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary direct-deposit to their headquarters. Go home, pick up the paper and read it for the very last time.
Just found out approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered...
Fine then. Keep your sea crits.
Approximately how many cows does it take to stock a grocery store with beef?
Most of them won't even show up to work, but if you can get them there, two should be able to handle the job.
On a scale of 1 to β, the number 10 billion is approximately 12 times larger than the number 382.
The newest studies show that...
approximately 50% of all armless people have no rights, yet none acts.
In 2009, it cost approximately 53,000 dollars to fly a troop to Iraq, and nearly double that to fly them back.
Probably because of all the extra baggage.
