Approve Jokes
41 approve jokes and hilarious approve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about approve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Approve Short Jokes
Short approve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The approve humour may include short approval jokes also.
- BREAKING: The US Senate has unanimously approved a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent! If you ask me, it's about time!
- I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
- What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval. - People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get.
- Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague. The Czech's in the Male
- I asked a lawyer what I should do after being injured by cold medicine approved by the FDA. His advice? Sudafed.
- TIL you need an Act of Congress to move some pieces of furniture in the White House. Approving new Cabinet positions is such a drag.
- Elon Musk's tunnel-digging venture just got approved for expansion... Even more boring than before!
- Biden has a higher approval rating among female voters than Trump However it was the Mail voters that won Biden the Election.
- I'm pretty excited. My loan got approved. I'll be closing on a full tank of gas this week.
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Approve One Liners
Which approve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with approve? I can suggest the ones about accept and permission.
- Vladimir Putin's approval rate is 80%... The other 20% are missing.
- What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job? The seal of approval.
- Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders? They don't approve of shots.
- My visa to visit Afraica got approved. Now I Congo
- What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US? Popeyes
- Putin has an 87% approval in Canada! Whoops, I meant to say Poutine.
- When it comes to Russian Roulette .. .. 5/6 approve
- How do Marine Animals pass new Legislation? They ask the Seal of Approval.
- Who authorizes all U.S. naval special operations? The SEAL of approval.
- The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
- When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
- James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
- What do you call a piano that approves. A piayes.
- I approve of free range parenting the meat just tastes better.
- What is mother-approved and child-tested? Coat-Hanger Abortions
Amusing & Witty Approve Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about approve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean permit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make approve pranks.
I lost my watch at a party.
After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve.
Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
A man comes home to his wife with two black eyes
The wife freaks out but calms down enough to ask what happened. The man says well i was in the mall today on the escalator and there was this cute girl in front of me and she had her skirt tucked into her but. I pulled it out for her and she turned around and punched me in the eye. The wife says yeah i approve of that but how did you get the second one? The man says well i figured she liked it that way and pushed it back in.
How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
At least fifteen: One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and to decide who is bringing the potato salad.
>!Dearest Moderators, the title may be a repost but the joke is not, I checked!!<
I have a friend in prison who is very kind.
Someone asked him to donate his eye, he gave it for free. Someone asked for his kidney, he also gave it for free. Another asked for his hands, he gave them both, free of charge.
My good friend was still willing to donate his legs as well but the Warden didn't approve it.
The Warden said, "That's enough! You think I didn't notice that you are trying to escape piece by piece?!"
I try so hard not to upset my vegan girlfriend.
I'm constantly treading on eggshells.
Which she also doesn't approve of.
Approverypriate.
Sorry - that was very inappropriate.
My wife does not approve of my collection of bobbleheads that look just like me.
She says I have a tendency to get ahead of myself.
So I'm trying to open a chain of outdoor, overnight facilities to help children overcome symptoms of ADHD.
Unfortunately I'm having trouble getting the bank to approve a loan for concentration camps.
My girlfriend of two years just left me.
Turns out the police didn't exactly approve of our relationship.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
John and Jane go to see a marriage counsellor.
The counsellor says, "So, you two are married, correct?"
"Correct," they reply.
"And you are having regular s**...?" asks the counsellor.
"Absolutely," they reply,
"So," laughs the counsellor, "What is the problem?"
They say, "Well, our partners don't really approve."
Gimme a White Russian, Hold The Russian.
At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited to find a chocolate milk machine. But her aunt did not approve. Chocolate milk for dinner? she asked.
It's delicious! said my daughter.
Her aunt shrugged. Well, its 8 a.m. somewhere.
My grandmother didn't approve of me working at the nudist tennis club.
But you should have seen her face when I told her I'd been promoted from ball boy to head of staff.
I finally met my pen pal who had recently got out of prison.
My parents didn't approve of him, but that was because they had no context.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did h**... approve of his mathematicians?
They were all ~z-s.
I provoked my therapist but she didn't seem to approve.
I can't help it though, she just makes me feel a tease.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dudes were m**... in my living room.
I told them to beat it but they didn't leave! They even thanked me for my approval! I don't approve and I'm appalled and offended.
Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?
He doesn't approve of same sect marriage
Delicious goat.
Mom and Dad invited Aunt Edna over for dinner. Mom was cooking while Dad set the table, and Aunt Edna asked Timmy what they were having for dinner.
"Fish," said Timmy.
"Hmf," said Aunt Edna. "I don't approve of foods that have spent their previous lives immersed in salt. Are you quite sure?"
"Yep." Timmy shrugged. "Dad said to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old trout for dinner.'"
The Church Gossip
Mildred, the church gossip, self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Tom, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Tom and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
Tom, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Tom quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...walked home...and left it there all night.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest and a nun are golfing...
The priest misses a putt and yells " d**... I missed!" The nun tells him not to swear because God won't approve of it. On the next hole the priest hits a bad shot and yells once again " d**... I missed" and the nun tells him," don't swear anymore or the sky will open up and God will strike you down" . On the next hole the priest once again messes up and once again yells "d**... I missed!" At that point the sky opened up and the nun gets struck by lighting. The priest looks up with astonishment and from the sky he hears " d**... I missed!"
