Approve Jokes

43 approve jokes and hilarious approve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about approve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Approve Short Jokes

Short approve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The approve humour may include short approval jokes also.

  1. When my cab driver found out I was gay, he told me this joke. I approve. Q: What do you call a gay man with a vasectomy?
    A: Seedless fruit.
  2. BREAKING: The US Senate has unanimously approved a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent! If you ask me, it's about time!
  3. I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
  4. What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
    I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval.
  5. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
    She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
  6. Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve. Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
  7. People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get.
  8. How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride bikes!
    (This was approved by a fellow kid with ADD, AKA me)
  9. Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague. The Czech's in the Male
  10. I asked a lawyer what I should do after being injured by cold medicine approved by the FDA. His advice? Sudafed.

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Approve One Liners

Which approve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with approve? I can suggest the ones about accept and permission.

  1. Vladimir Putin's approval rate is 80%... The other 20% are missing.
  2. What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job? The seal of approval.
  3. Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders? They don't approve of shots.
  4. My visa to visit Afraica got approved. Now I Congo
  5. What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US? Popeyes
  6. I don't approve of the homosexual lifestyle... but $50 is $50.
  7. I don't approve of political jokes They keep on getting elected.
  8. Putin has an 87% approval in Canada! Whoops, I meant to say Poutine.
  9. When it comes to Russian Roulette .. .. 5/6 approve
  10. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
  11. How do Marine Animals pass new Legislation? They ask the Seal of Approval.
  12. Who authorizes all U.S. naval special operations? The SEAL of approval.
  13. Why the pope does not approve of continuous functions? Because it is not holy.
  14. Mexico has approved the wall they want to keep the americans out of their country...
  15. The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.

Approve joke

Amusing & Witty Approve Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about approve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make approve pranks.

I lost my watch at a party.

After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.

A man comes home to his wife with two black eyes

The wife freaks out but calms down enough to ask what happened. The man says well i was in the mall today on the escalator and there was this cute girl in front of me and she had her skirt tucked into her but. I pulled it out for her and she turned around and punched me in the eye. The wife says yeah i approve of that but how did you get the second one? The man says well i figured she liked it that way and pushed it back in.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

**Germans are very efficient and not very funny.**
*Source: My co-worker.*
*I'm German and I approve this message.*

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

At least fifteen: One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and to decide who is bringing the potato salad.
>!Dearest Moderators, the title may be a repost but the joke is not, I checked!!<

I have a friend in prison who is very kind.

Someone asked him to donate his eye, he gave it for free. Someone asked for his kidney, he also gave it for free. Another asked for his hands, he gave them both, free of charge.
My good friend was still willing to donate his legs as well but the Warden didn't approve it.
The Warden said, "That's enough! You think I didn't notice that you are trying to escape piece by piece?!"

TIL Steve Irwin was trying to market his own sunblock.

The FDA wouldn't approve it because it didn't protect you against all rays.

It is said that the Sheiks in Dubai do not approve of the Flintstones.

But those in Abu Dhabi do.

I try so hard not to upset my vegan girlfriend.

I'm constantly treading on eggshells.
Which she also doesn't approve of.


Sorry - that was very inappropriate.

My wife does not approve of my collection of bobbleheads that look just like me.

She says I have a tendency to get ahead of myself.

So I'm trying to open a chain of outdoor, overnight facilities to help children overcome symptoms of ADHD.

Unfortunately I'm having trouble getting the bank to approve a loan for concentration camps.

My girlfriend of two years just left me.

Turns out the police didn't exactly approve of our relationship.

John and Jane go to see a marriage counsellor.

The counsellor says, "So, you two are married, correct?"
"Correct," they reply.
"And you are having regular s**...?" asks the counsellor.
"Absolutely," they reply,
"So," laughs the counsellor, "What is the problem?"
They say, "Well, our partners don't really approve."

Gimme a White Russian, Hold The Russian.

At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited to find a chocolate milk machine. But her aunt did not approve. Chocolate milk for dinner? she asked.
It's delicious! said my daughter.
Her aunt shrugged. Well, its 8 a.m. somewhere.

Why don't Baptists approve of premarital s**...?

Because it might lead to dancing.

My grandmother didn't approve of me working at the nudist tennis club.

But you should have seen her face when I told her I'd been promoted from ball boy to head of staff.

I finally met my pen pal who had recently got out of prison.

My parents didn't approve of him, but that was because they had no context.

Why did h**... approve of his mathematicians?

They were all ~z-s.

Approve joke, Why did h**... approve of his mathematicians?