Approval Jokes
35 approval jokes and hilarious approval puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about approval that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Approval Short Jokes
Short approval jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The approval humour may include short approve jokes also.
- BREAKING: The US Senate has unanimously approved a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent! If you ask me, it's about time!
- I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
- What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval. - People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get.
- Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague. The Czech's in the Male
- I asked a lawyer what I should do after being injured by cold medicine approved by the FDA. His advice? Sudafed.
- TIL you need an Act of Congress to move some pieces of furniture in the White House. Approving new Cabinet positions is such a drag.
- Elon Musk's tunnel-digging venture just got approved for expansion... Even more boring than before!
- Biden has a higher approval rating among female voters than Trump However it was the Mail voters that won Biden the Election.
- I'm pretty excited. My loan got approved. I'll be closing on a full tank of gas this week.
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Approval One Liners
Which approval one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with approval? I can suggest the ones about confirmation and permission.
- Vladimir Putin's approval rate is 80%... The other 20% are missing.
- What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job? The seal of approval.
- Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders? They don't approve of shots.
- My visa to visit Afraica got approved. Now I Congo
- What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US? Popeyes
- Putin has an 87% approval in Canada! Whoops, I meant to say Poutine.
- When it comes to Russian Roulette .. .. 5/6 approve
- How do Marine Animals pass new Legislation? They ask the Seal of Approval.
- Who authorizes all U.S. naval special operations? The SEAL of approval.
- The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
- When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
- James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
- What do you call a piano that approves. A piayes.
- I approve of free range parenting the meat just tastes better.
- What is mother-approved and child-tested? Coat-Hanger Abortions
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Approval Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about approval you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acceptable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make approval pranks.
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked - Where did you get such a great bike?
The second one replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike".
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay s**... scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene
Weinstein said that the s**... scene usually takes place before he approves a movie
I lost my watch at a party.
After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.
A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.
The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.
The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.
The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve.
Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...
A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.
"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "
The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"
The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning.
At the end of the day, the little boy shows the cheesemaker his fine work. The cheesemaker, approving of the poor boy's efforts, hands him a pound of Swiss cheese.
"But I said I would clean your shop for a pound of cheddar!" protested the boy.
And the cheesemaker replies, "And I thaid for thwith."
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
A man comes home to his wife with two black eyes
The wife freaks out but calms down enough to ask what happened. The man says well i was in the mall today on the escalator and there was this cute girl in front of me and she had her skirt tucked into her but. I pulled it out for her and she turned around and punched me in the eye. The wife says yeah i approve of that but how did you get the second one? The man says well i figured she liked it that way and pushed it back in.
A private asks his commanding officer for a few days leave.
The private explains that his wife is going to have a baby. The commanding officer is very supportive, and approves the request.
The next week when the private returns the commanding officer asks, "So private, was it a boy or a girl."
"Don't be silly, sir," says the private. "It takes *months*!"
A snail decides he wants to be a racer...
So he employs a pit crew, a coach, and a designer. The designer paints a big 'S' on the side of his vehicle which the snail highly approves of.
He tries out at a local track, and starts overtaking all the other amateurs much faster than anyone else.
The coach stares and says 'Look at that S-Car-Go!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amazon just got approved for drone delivery
We now have s**... shooting with prizes.
