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Approval Jokes

35 approval jokes and hilarious approval puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about approval that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Approval Short Jokes

Short approval jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The approval humour may include short approve jokes also.

  1. When my cab driver found out I was gay, he told me this joke. I approve. Q: What do you call a gay man with a vasectomy?
    A: Seedless fruit.
  2. BREAKING: The US Senate has unanimously approved a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent! If you ask me, it's about time!
  3. I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
  4. What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
    I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval.
  5. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
    She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
  6. Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve. Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
  7. People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get.
  8. How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride bikes!
    (This was approved by a fellow kid with ADD, AKA me)
  9. Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague. The Czech's in the Male
  10. I asked a lawyer what I should do after being injured by cold medicine approved by the FDA. His advice? Sudafed.

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Approval One Liners

Which approval one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with approval? I can suggest the ones about confirmation and permission.

  1. Vladimir Putin's approval rate is 80%... The other 20% are missing.
  2. What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job? The seal of approval.
  3. Why would antivaxxers make terrible bartenders? They don't approve of shots.
  4. My visa to visit Afraica got approved. Now I Congo
  5. What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US? Popeyes
  6. I don't approve of the homosexual lifestyle... but $50 is $50.
  7. I don't approve of political jokes They keep on getting elected.
  8. Putin has an 87% approval in Canada! Whoops, I meant to say Poutine.
  9. When it comes to Russian Roulette .. .. 5/6 approve
  10. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
  11. How do Marine Animals pass new Legislation? They ask the Seal of Approval.
  12. Who authorizes all U.S. naval special operations? The SEAL of approval.
  13. Why the pope does not approve of continuous functions? Because it is not holy.
  14. Mexico has approved the wall they want to keep the americans out of their country...
  15. The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.

Approval joke

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Approval Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about approval you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acceptable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make approval pranks.

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked - Where did you get such a great bike?

The second one replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike".
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".

Two engineer students were biking across campus.

One said to the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay s**... scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene

Weinstein said that the s**... scene usually takes place before he approves a movie

Understanding Engineers

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first
engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit you anyway."

I lost my watch at a party.

After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.

A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.

The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.
The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.
The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.
"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "
The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"
The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning.
At the end of the day, the little boy shows the cheesemaker his fine work. The cheesemaker, approving of the poor boy's efforts, hands him a pound of Swiss cheese.
"But I said I would clean your shop for a pound of cheddar!" protested the boy.
And the cheesemaker replies, "And I thaid for thwith."

Charlie the Street Car Conductor

Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."

A man comes home to his wife with two black eyes

The wife freaks out but calms down enough to ask what happened. The man says well i was in the mall today on the escalator and there was this cute girl in front of me and she had her skirt tucked into her but. I pulled it out for her and she turned around and punched me in the eye. The wife says yeah i approve of that but how did you get the second one? The man says well i figured she liked it that way and pushed it back in.

A man and his boss are playing golf...

one weekend when a f**... procession goes past. The man takes off his hat and stands silently with eyes downcast. He doesn't move until the procession is out of sight. The man's boss, an elderly gentleman, approves. "You don't often see respect like that much among you young folk these days" he says as they resume their game.
"Well, I thought it was only right." Replies the man. "After all, we'd been married for ten years."

How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

**One.**
**Germans are very efficient and not very funny.**
*Source: My co-worker.*
*I'm German and I approve this message.*

Approval joke, How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?