The Best 40 Apprentice Jokes

Following is our collection of Apprentice jokes which are very funny. There are some apprentice mentor jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these apprentice anvil puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

A cook's apprentice is throwing copious amounts of herbs into the dish

When the cook walks in and says "STOP WASTING MY THYME"

Why did Darth Sidious choose Vader for Anakin's Sith name?

So when he got an apprentice he would be called MasterVader.

Three apprentice vampire bats

Three apprentice vampire bats are taken out to a farm and told to get as much blood as they can find by their teacher. 15 minutes go by and the first vampire bay returns with a little bit of blood on his teeth.
'Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? That's where I got it.' the bat replied.

Shortly after the second vampire bat returns with blood dripping from his snout.
Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? That's where I got it.' the second bat replied.

Some time later the third bat returns with his whole face caked in blood.
Where did you get that blood!' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? Do you see that wall beyond the cow? I didn't.'

A man goes to a barbershop...

Asks the barber, what time do you close today? Barber says 4:30 and the man walks off. Man comes in the next day asks what time the barber closes shop, barber says 5 o'clock and the man walks off. This goes on for some time and one day the barber sends an apprentice to follow the man. The apprentice gets back. Barber asks "well who is this guy where does he walk off to every time" apprentice says "your place"

what did the Mexican dog groomer tell his apprentice on the first day of training?

You no do strays.


What did the Seattle-based baker say to her apprentice?

Someday you will bake like I bake.

What did the cancerous contractor say to his apprentice?

Avoid the insulation asbestos you can.

What did the alphabet master say when his apprentice dropped his vowels?

I've got my I on U.

A gardener looks at his petunias & says to his foxy French apprentice...

WATER THOSE!!!!!!!

Based on Trump's History, if elected, he is likely to get divorced and remarried while in the White House

It will be "Marriage Apprentice" White House Edition

I'm excited about the next season of The Apprentice ...

... it proves that Donald Trump can be replace with immigrant labor.

Top Apprentice Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore apprentice cadet reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apprentice apprenticeship dad jokes. There are also apprentice puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the dumb Electrical Apprentice say to the journeyman?

I conduit

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.
^^^^^sorry

I want Trump to win the presidential election

We would be able to see a celebrity apprentice with only congressmen and women. It would be nice to see them work for a change.

Psychic Apprentice is ready!

Psychic Apprentice: I'm ready to open my own shop. I quit.

Psychic: I knew this day would come.

I sent the apprentice out to get some tea bags..

The kid asked, "What type?"

To which I said, "Get some C. U. N. Tea."

He was gone for quite a while and came back with a black eye but no tea.

If trump gets elected

If trump gets elected can we make a show similar to the apprentice but when Trump says "your fired" he sends a nuclear missile at a country.

How will Trump select his cabinet?

The Apprentice: the White House

Contestants will compete in a series of challenges aspiring to positions in Trump's cabinet all televised for your viewing pleasure on NBC.

The Apprentice

I wish that "The Apprentice" version of Donald Trump still existed;
he'd be like:

"America,

you're fired."


Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, "the Apprentice." But, did you know about Hillary's show?

"the Biggest Loser."

What to watch on TV tonight

A few days ago, I was watching George Michael videos. A couple of days ago, it was a Star Wars marathon. Tonight? The Apprentice.

I went to see Rogue One the day Carrie Fisher died

I think I'm going to go watch The Apprentice

An old blacksmith ...

... realised that soon he would not be able to work so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

The blacksmith hires an apprentice

He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith

WhatΒ΄s the difference between 2007 and 2017?

The Apprentice opened a franchise at the White House.

A guitarist traveled back in time to the Medieval Ages and became an apprentice to a noble knight

He was a squier.

What do you call a cold apprentice?

A Wintern

I couldn't figure out why the season of The Apprentice I was watching was going on for so long. Each week someone gets fired, but we never seem to get down to the final winner!

Then I realized, I was just watching CNN.

A Blacksmith in Ancient Palestine asks his Apprentice, "where are the nails?"

Once in Ancient Palestine a Blacksmith walks into his shop one morning to find his apprentice sharpening blades and kindling the forge. As the Blacksmith searched the shelves he couldn't find the nails. He asked his apprentice, "I've been searching for them all morning. Where are the nails?"

The Apprentice looked up solemnly and replied, "They're in God's hands now."

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice

His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.

One day he instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith.

Instruction

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad: When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he's the village blacksmith.

What did the giant prostitution say to their apprentice?

You will always live in my shadow, literally and metawhorically

A man walks into a barber shop every day and asks the barber what time he closes shop.

He never gets a cut. Only asks. The barber grows frustrated and asks his apprentice to follow the man after he asks to see who he is and why he might be asking. The apprentice returns shortly after. The barber asks "well, where did he go?" The apprentice replies "your house."

Do you smell gas?

A plumber and his apprentice are working on a house when the plumber turns and says

"do you smell gas?"

The apprentice replies - "no, I can't even smell my own name"

A blacksmith is stressed

So he goes into his shop and starts holding a sword straight against the grindstone. His apprentice comes in and asks
"What are you doing?"

"Oh just taking the edge off"

What did the electrician say to reassure his apprentice?

You conduit!

Hit it on the head

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he's the village blacksmith.

What did the chef say to her apprentice after he cut the apples perfectly?

Knife Job! :D

At my first job as an apprentice baker...

...my boss was constantly rushing me, and I thought it negatively affected the quality of the bread we were putting on the shelves. I always suspected that if we just had a little bit of time between shaping the dough and putting it into the oven, the resulting loaf would be so much better.

But I could never prove it.

A witch was going through her recent order of newts...

... when her apprentice walked in. Noticing the witches frowning face, she asks What's wrong, Master?

The witch replied, Well, I've got some good newts and some bad newts...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the apprentice internship jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working apprentice goldman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes