Appointed Jokes

27 appointed jokes and hilarious appointed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about appointed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Appointed Short Jokes

Short appointed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The appointed humour may include short assigned jokes also.

  1. The ceo of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
  2. My friend and I had arranged a meeting to insult each other but he didn't show up It was a diss appointment
  3. Amazing joke i came up with Sadness walked into the doctors office.
    the doctor asked: Whats your appointment?
    Sadness anwsered: Dis apoointment.
  4. I told my therapist that I've been having suicidal tendencies. He made me start paying in advanced after that appointment...
  5. I was so excited about how well my psychiatry appointment went But when I got home, I couldn't find any of my roommates to tell them
  6. Holy Cow! I just found out I've been appointed to be communications director at the white house... it's not that I'm qualified or anything, it's just my turn...
  7. If a mentally challenged midget is late to an appointment... ... can you justifiably call them "a little tardy"?
  8. Was always of the opinion that bad posture didn't pose a threat to my physical well-being. But after an appointment with my physiotherapist, I stand corrected.
  9. A few minutes ago while I was lifeguarding, an old lady told me that I looked like a lion pacing back and forth. Now I'm nervous for my dentist appointment on Thursday.
  10. I told my wife I have a dentist appointment. She asked me what time and I said… Tooth hurty

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Appointed One Liners

Which appointed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with appointed? I can suggest the ones about appointment and owed.

  1. My doctor checked my prostate last week It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.
  2. Death Told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for next Tuesday.
  3. I made an appointment but it was cancelled. It was ... disappointing.
  4. What's the most popular time to schedule a dentist appointment? Tooth hurty.
  5. I tried to schedule an appointment at the library. They were overbooked.
  6. What's the best time for a dentist appointment? Tooth hurty
  7. Why did the fetishist come so quickly? He had an appointment and was in a furry.
  8. I cancelled my doctor's appointment recently I was disappointed
  9. You miss 100% of the shots If you forget your doctor's appointment.
  10. I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made an appointment for Tuesday.
  11. Told my husband I want to be cremated. He made me an appointment for Tuesday.
  12. What kind of appointment lowers your self- esteem? Disappointment
  13. Why did the dolphin go to the dentist? He had an appointment.
  14. Had a colonoscopy the other day, Worst dentist appointment I've ever had.
  15. Why did Al Gore have to schedule a dentist appointment? Because of an inconvenient tooth.

Appointed joke, Why did Al Gore have to schedule a dentist appointment?

Cheeky Appointed Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about appointed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chosen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make appointed pranks.

Then Ok!

Dad: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son: "No."
Dad: "The girl is Bill Gate's daughter."
Son: "Then Ok!" \*\*
\*\* Dad goes to Bill Gates. \*\*
Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son."
Bill Gates: "No."
Dad: "My son is the CEO of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Then ok!"
\*\*Dad goes to the President of the World Bank. \*\*
Dad: "Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank."
President: "No!"
Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates."
President: "Then OK."

I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.

1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.

She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

How do you cancel an appointment with a s**... bank?

Tell them you can't come.

Teacher: What do you do after school?

1st Student: I go and buy w**... from Yakobo
2nd Student: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
3rd Student: I go and buy c**... from Yakobo.
4th Student: I always stay at home and do my homework.
Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
4th Student: Yakobo

So my friend had some issue with his hearing....

My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."

Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

A man has an appointment with a urologist.

The man is sitting on the examination table when the Urologist walks in. The urologist glances at the man's medical history, makes a few notes and then says: "Look, I hate to break it to you, but you have to stop m**...."
The man frowns and says, "Why, Doc?"
The urologist responds: "So I can examine you."

The Lawyer

Satan appears before a lawyer and says, "I will make a deal with you. You will become the most successful attorney who has ever lived. You will be rich beyond imagination, and known to everyone on the planet. You will be appointed to the Supreme Court, and your rulings will be read and studied for decades to come. All I ask in return is the souls of your wife and your three children."
The lawyer sits with his head in his hands, thinking for several minutes. Finally he says, "Okay, what's the catch?"

Appointed joke, The Lawyer