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Applying For Jobs Jokes

126 applying for jobs jokes and hilarious applying for jobs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about applying for jobs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Applying For Jobs Short Jokes

Short applying for jobs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The applying for jobs humour may include short job application jokes also.

  1. I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory. The hours are terrible, but apparently the celery is good.
  2. So I asked my friend, "I hear your husband applied for a position in the government" Me:"What is he doing now?"
    Friend: "Nothing"
    Me: "But I thought he got the job!?"
    Friend: "Yes he did."
  3. I applied for a job at Google and when I got the job, I said Yahoo and I was immediately fired
  4. If I apply for a job at a railroad... Will they expect me to know the job or will they train me?
  5. I applied for work at a furniture factory and they said they had an opening for someone to inspect the mirrors. I told them, "That's a job I could really see myself doing"
  6. Why did the snowman apply for a job on the winter solstice? It wanted to work during its peak season.
  7. I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told them I really bring a lot to the table.
  8. If you want a job in the moisturiser industry The best advice I can give you is to apply daily.
  9. What do you call 3 mentally handicapped people applying for the same job? American politics
  10. I have just applied for a job as a litter collector. They asked if I had any relevant experience but I said I will just pick it up as I go along.

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Applying For Jobs One Liners

Which applying for jobs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with applying for jobs? I can suggest the ones about job searching and job interview.

  1. A black guy applied for a job at the LAPD He got shot down
  2. A frog applies for a construction job. The engineer asks, "What can you do?"
    "Rivet."
  3. I was going to apply for a job in the army, But I just couldn't see myself in camouflage.
  4. Why did Buffy apply for the job at the bank? Because she's a stakeholder
  5. I wanted to apply for a job at the NSA They asked me to email myself the resume
  6. I should apply for a job as a window washer It's something I can really see myself doing
  7. Applied for a job designing paralax layers... ...Failed the background test.
  8. When applying for a job in the hair industry... Do you have to hand in your Tresemmé?
  9. Landing a job in the moisturizer industry is tough. My advice? Apply daily.
  10. A koala applied for a job at my office He had amazing koalifications.
  11. Store: help wanted Me: *applies for job*
    Store: "no, not you"
  12. Why did college graduates stop applying to work at Apple? No more jobs
  13. If you want a job in a moisturizer factory... ...you should apply daily.
  14. I applied to get a job as a video editor. Didn't make the final cut.
  15. When people apply for a job in prostitution... Do they try to really sell themselves?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about applying for jobs can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of applying for jobs puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Applying For Jobs Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about applying for jobs you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean hiring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make applying for jobs prank.

A cut above the rest

Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".

A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...

...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."
The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.
"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.
"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.
"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.
"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...

...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."

Joey the marsupial applied for a job to eat eucalyptus leaves all day.

However, he was declined due to his lack of koalafications.

Job opening in a fast paced company

Do you want a corner office with a view?
Do you like being paid to travel in a $400,000 company paid vehicle?
Do you like to be in control of your job and steer it in the direction you want?
Do you want people to respect you, and get out of your way?
Bob did, so he became a bus driver in our company. You can be one too! Apply today!

So I tried to apply for a job at the Department of Redundancy Department...

I got denied because they said all applicants needed to have a PhD in Philosophy.

Clever guy applying for a job, ended up talking about the wages...

Manager: '' So you will start at $15 a hour and later you could earn at least $20 a hour. ''
Applicant: ''Alright then I'll be back later! ''

Charlie the Street Car Conductor

Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."

Job at a Cadbury's factory ..

>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??

There was an International Job opening.

Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.

A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder was applying for a job.

His resume spoke for itself.

A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D.

Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."
Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"

A lumberjack applies for a job...

...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?"
The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest."
The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it now."

My friend and I applied for work at the new submarine factory.

I don't know if we'll get jobs, but we'll see what surfaces.

I just lost my job and was told I should apply for COBRA.

I said okay, but I think the G.I. Joes are going to be very disappointed in me.

Shia Labeouf got rejected for a job he applied for...

During a practice run he caused negative results.
Apparently he wasn't what the s**... hotline was looking for.

Have you guys heard the joke about the koala?

So this Koala had applied for a job at his local supermarket but was very disappointed when he found out he didn't have the correct Koalifications.
I'm so sorry.

So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church

I really hope I get the m**...

When i apply to the job...

Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: Well, I've always been really passionate about not starving to death.

I applied for a job as a Marsupial...

Safe to say I didn't get it because I lacked the right Koalafications.

Two men take a test to see if they can apply to the same job.

Afterwards, the boss walks to the second person.
"We know you cheated off of [the first person]"
"How so?"
"On number 6, he said 'I don't know,' and you said 'I don't know either.'"

Thank god the "S" on my keyboard doesn't work...

It means I can apply for jobs and they think I'm just an ex-offender.

I applied for a job as a s**... bomber.

I said I have no previous experience, they didn't seem to mind.

A man was applying for a job in the navy

So, the interviewer said.
"Can you swim."
The man looked puzzled and asked.
"Why, did you run out of ships?"

Donald Trump, for the first time in his life, he goes and applies for a job

And gets the position of President of the US

I applied for a job at Wal-Mart

I didn't get it. They told me I was over qualified. I have all my teeth and my pants fit.

A man applies for a job with the local police.

The officer says, "This is the best résumé I've ever seen! There's just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot eight black guys and a cat."
Guy replies "Why the cat?"
Officer says "Great attitude, you're hired!"

I applied for a job recently because it offered something that would appease my vegetable f**....

Apparently an 'attractive celery' means something different.

(warning machinist humor). Did you hear about the guy that applied for a job running a lathe?

They turned him down.

I applied for an accountancy job, told them I would give it 110%......

havent heard back :(

ET the extraterrestrial applied for a job in a donkey breeding center

He became the Asset Manager.

I applied for a job at h**......

They handed me a bra and asked me to fill it.

What's the process of applying for a job at h**...?

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

A guy applies for a job at the L.A.P.D.

The inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen! Just one more thing: take this gun and shoot 6 black men and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" the man replies.
"Good attitude, you've got the job!"

A man applies for a job as a police officer.

The officer says: Alright, one more thing. Take this gun and go shoot 7 black men and a squirrel.
The man replies: Why the squirrel?
The officer says: I love your attitude, you got the job!

I went to go apply for a job at h**... today

They just handed me a bra and said Here fill this out

I'm not the tallest guy, so when I left university and applied for the job I wanted, I put down that I was a dwarf on my resume, hoping that being some type of minority would help me...

I didn't get the job though.
The interviewer just said that I was selling myself short.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I guess I should stop applying for jobs then.

So I was applying for a job and one requirement was to be flexible

I have spinal fusion, guess not.

A lizard tatoo artist applies for a job at an architectural firm...

The hiring manager is perplexed. "How" he asks, "does inking reptiles amount to 'relevant experience' designing buildings for our firm?"
"Well for starters" the lizard tatoo artist begins, "all of my drawings are to scale."
*This is OC fam. Just put my 2 weeks notice in at my day job.*

Two Irish fellas, p**... and Murphy are looking for a job

They are walking down the road when they see a sign saying "Tree fellers wanted - apply within"
p**... says "Hey Murphy, if we find another person we can apply for that".

I didn't get the job at the abortion clinic

I guess they didn't like that I applied to be the w**... raider.

Job Listing: Crustacean Salespeople

Please apply at the front desk.
Must be willing to give customers the hard shell.

I'm going to apply for the job as Australia's next cricket captain.

I've been ball tampering for years and never got caught.

Best Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump is so privileged that the first job he ever had to apply for was president of the United States." –Stephen Colbert

A talking duck walks into a bar

He walks up and orders a shot of whiskey because he's depressed. The bartender looks at him gobsmacked because he's a talking duck and then asks why he's sad.
The duck says I just lost my job
The bartender replies well don't be sad I know just the perfect place you can apply. The circus has just pulled into town
The duck replies what would a circus want with a plasterer?

Got rejected from the daycare centre when I applied for a job last week

"Former priest" is apparently not a sufficient qualification

What do you get when you have a contortionist applying for a job as a timekeeper?

Someone who can be flexible with their hours.

I'm thinking of applying for a job as a mirror cleaner

It's got pretty decent pay, plus it's something I can really see myself doing

A lumberjack applies for a job and gets called for an interview. The interviewer asks him, So, what experience do you have? The lumberjack replies, Well, I used to work in the Sahara Forest.

The interviewer is a little taken aback and asks, The Sahara Forest? Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?
The lumberjack says, Yeah, that's what they call it now.

I have a hard time saying "no" to people...

One time when I was applying for a job, the interviewer asked if I had a criminal history.
I don't, so I said "Maybe"

A man applies for a job as a diesel fitter at a women's underwear factory. He asks his supervisor what the job entails.

The supervisor takes some underwear off the line, puts it on his head and says, "Deez'll fit 'er!"

A guy applies for a job with the Chicago Police Department

He has an impressive resume, gives the best answers to the interview questions, and is very enthusiastic about the job.
"Your qualifications are impressive" says the police chief. "Here's the final test. Take this gun, go out, and shoot ten black guys and a clown?"
The man asks, "why the clown?"
The police chief replies, "Fantastic attitude, you're hired!"

The theoretical physicist had trouble getting a job...

... They could apply their knowledge.

A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?
Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?

Job hunting joke

When you apply to 100 jobs in one day and the next day get only one email asking for an interview. I imagine thanos in the corner saying all that for a drop of blood

I got a call from the local police station this morning, they said they want to interview me...

i don't remember applying for a job there

The Hired Gun

A gun walks into a job interview. It all goes well but the interviewer is confused as to why a gun is applying for a job so he asks why the gun is looking for work. It replies, "oh I was fired recently."

A guy applies for a job at a circus

Manager:"What are your talents?"
Guy:"I can imitate a crow really well!!"
Manager:"Sorry i don't think you can be of use to us"
Guy:"s**..., i was sure i would get the job, well ok then, bye" proceedes to turn around and fly away

I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!!

That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(

After R Kelly gets out of prison, he decides to go apply for a job at McDonald's because it's his favorite. The interviewer asked what separates him apart from others who applied?

He said, I believe I can fryyyyyy

The Job Interview

Three equally qualified applicants apply for a job. The interviewer decides to test their powers of observation.
He asks all three of them the same question. Look at me closely and tell me what you notice.
Applicant 1: If you don't mind me saying, one of your ears is higher than the other.
Well done!
Applicant 2: Are your ears uneven?
Yes, well done!
Applicant 3: Are you wearing contact lenses?
How'd you know that?
Well, you'd never wear glasses with ears like that.

I applied for a job at a m**... dispensary, and was surprised to learn that I would have to take a drug test.

I hope it's multiple choice. I tested m**..., crack, *and* w**....

Why did Johnny Sins get fired from his job as a hiring manager

Because he was putting people in positions they didn't apply for.

Need a software company like my girlfriend..

offers me a job even before applying to the openings.

A vegan applied but was rejected for a job at Burger King...

She didn't meat the requirements.

Interviewer: Do you have any question about the job that you are applying for?

Applicant: How much is the salary?
Interviewer: Initially $40,000. Later it could go up to $80,000
Applicant: I will start later then.

a Jewish man living in Moscow applies to move to Israel.

At 3:00 AM there's b**... on his door. It's the KGB.
You! Jew! You applied to move to Israel?
He nods.
Here in Russia, you have food to eat?
Yeah, I can't complain.
And here in Russia, you have place to live?
Yeah, yeah, I can't complain.
And here in Russia, you have job to work at?
Yeah, I can't complain.
So, Jew, why you apply to move to Israel?
Because *There* I can complain!

A woman rings at neighbour's door. A man opens the door.

Woman: "Hey, I just moved in, and I am just applying wallpaper in the kitchen. I just saw yesterday that you freshly papered you kitchen as well, and I thought you may be able to help me out. How many stacks of paper did you buy to do the job?"
Man:"Well yes, of course! I bought 16 stacks of paper."
The woman thanks the man and goes on to buy 16 stacks of paper. When she was finished with the kitchen she returns to the neighbour.
Woman:" well thanks again for the advice, I am done and the new kitchen looks awesome! I am just wondering, I still have 6 stacks of paper left...?"
Man:"Yeah, me too."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these applying for jobs jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.