Applications Jokes

Following is our collection of grad humor and divide one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Applications puns for adults, dirty abilities jokes or clean ides gags for kids.

There is an abundance of admissions jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes on applications. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any app witze you can hear about applications.

The Best jokes about Applications

Whenever I have to hire people I throw half of the applications in the trash can

I don't want to hire any unlucky people

If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly

You don't want to hire anyone unlucky

Fill out job applications in crayon...

...and if you don't get hired, just blame it on your color.

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."

The circus was in town and was taking applications from the local townspeople for wildly unique acts.

The interviewer was at the end of a long fruitless day of these local no-talents, when the last applicant, Jack, stepped up to the table.

Ok , said the interviewer, what's your special talent?

I do bird imitations! , replied Jack.

The interviewer sighed and shook his head. I guess that about wraps it up! , he said. Listen, son, bird imitations are a dime a dozen!! No thanks.

And with that, Jack gave a defiant Fine !! , and turned and flew out the window.

Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet?

Because he can't bring himself to click the "submit" button.

The Ferguson riots were really unsettling guys.

I heard today that the only way they could disperse the crowd is by handing out job applications.

Police hunting a man for indecent assault.

Applications close next week.

How about a joke translated from Chinese? Haven't seen one of those on here yet.

The boss asked his secretary to bring in all the job applications for the open position. She walked into his office and put a big stack of papers in front of him on his desk.

He picked up the stack, turned it face down and started randomly flipping through them, pulling out the ones he stopped on. After he had a small stack of randomly selected applications he threw them into the trash without even looking at them.

His secretary saw him throw them away and asked "What are you doing? Why are you throwing those away without looking at them?" He replied, "They are unlucky...I don't want to hire anyone unlucky."

If I am ever put in charge of hiring at my company ...

... I will randomly divide the stack of applications into two piles and then throw one of them away.

I just don't want to work with unlucky people.

It takes up to 5 minutes for Chloroform to work

And it takes additional applications for the desired outcome. about an awkward evening

My math teacher

Staples Burger King applications on failed tests.

I asked my Dad for help with course selection...

My last block was either Psychology or Computer Applications. So I asked, "Which do you think I should take?"

"Whichever you'll excel in, son."

In the Human Resources Department

The Manager has a big pile of applications on his desk.

He picks up the first 20 of them and throws them into the bin, saying
"Those guys have bad luck and we have no use for people with bad luck"

Job application

Boss at company was looking at job applications and took half of them and threw them at bin. Assistant looked at him and asked why would he do such thing and the boss said, we don't need employees with bad luck here.

*Not Clickbait* Who wants to make a quick buck?

I'm taking applications for my drive thru deer-cloning business.

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist.

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are all asked the same question: If a piece of metal is 2 ft away from a car and is moved halfway there once a second (it moves 1 ft, then .5 ft, then .25 ft...), how long will it take for the metal to touch the car? The physicist says never. The mathematician says never. The engineer says in about a minute, it'll be close enough for all practical applications.

Job Application

I was going through a stack of job applications on my desk when one caught my attention. While the applicant's employment history was stellar, and her education history was certainly above average, apparently she had a few personal problems. Under Marital Status she'd written, Not good and under Spouse's name, she'd written Plaintiff".

A movie about the maximum function in coding and signal transformation applications in road planning:

"Math.Max Fourier Road"

Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage

I don't want unlucky people working for me

I am going to state my gender as 0รท0 on my job applications.

Because it will depend on how they approach me.

Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I always choose half at random to throw away.

After all, I can't have unlucky people working for me.

Filling out job applications can be confusing; one question asked Have you ever had sex with a minor?

I answered No, of course not. But I done it with a lumberjack once.

When hiring, I take half the applications and throw them in the garbage...

I don't hire unlucky people.

When filling out applications, "Are you a Felon?"

I want to say, "Not that I know of Mate. You heard anything?"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes