Hilarious Applications Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
Whenever I have to hire people I throw half of the applications in the trash can
I don't want to hire any unlucky people
If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly
You don't want to hire anyone unlucky
Fill out job applications in crayon...
...and if you don't get hired, just blame it on your color.
Math in the real world
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."
Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet?
Because he can't bring himself to click the "submit" button.
The Ferguson riots were really unsettling guys.
I heard today that the only way they could disperse the crowd is by handing out job applications.
What do you call a software wizard that installs applications?
The Wizard of OS
Police hunting a man for indecent assault.
Applications close next week.
When you're hiring for your business, take the stack of applications, and throw half of them out without reading them.
You don't want to be surrounded by unlucky people, do you?
If I am ever put in charge of hiring at my company ...
... I will randomly divide the stack of applications into two piles and then throw one of them away.
I just don't want to work with unlucky people.
It takes up to 5 minutes for Chloroform to work
And it takes additional applications for the desired outcome.
......talk about an awkward evening
You can explore applications grad reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean applications abilities dad jokes. There are also applications puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I am finally ready to accept applications for my deer cloning business...
It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.
My math teacher
Staples Burger King applications on failed tests.
I asked my Dad for help with course selection...
My last block was either Psychology or Computer Applications. So I asked, "Which do you think I should take?"
"Whichever you'll excel in, son."
In the Human Resources Department
The Manager has a big pile of applications on his desk.
He picks up the first 20 of them and throws them into the bin, saying
"Those guys have bad luck and we have no use for people with bad luck"
A movie about the maximum function in coding and signal transformation applications in road planning:
"Math.Max Fourier Road"
Job application
Boss at company was looking at job applications and took half of them and threw them at bin. Assistant looked at him and asked why would he do such thing and the boss said, we don't need employees with bad luck here.
*Not Clickbait* Who wants to make a quick buck?
I'm taking applications for my drive thru deer-cloning business.
Job Application
I was going through a stack of job applications on my desk when one caught my attention. While the applicant's employment history was stellar, and her education history was certainly above average, apparently she had a few personal problems. Under Marital Status she'd written, Not good and under Spouse's name, she'd written Plaintiff".
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist.
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are all asked the same question: If a piece of metal is 2 ft away from a car and is moved halfway there once a second (it moves 1 ft, then .5 ft, then .25 ft...), how long will it take for the metal to touch the car? The physicist says never. The mathematician says never. The engineer says in about a minute, it'll be close enough for all practical applications.
Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage
I don't want unlucky people working for me
Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I always choose half at random to throw away.
After all, I can't have unlucky people working for me.
Filling out job applications can be confusing; one question asked Have you ever had s**... with a minor?
I answered No, of course not. But I done it with a lumberjack once.
When hiring, I take half the applications and throw them in the garbage...
I don't hire unlucky people.
I am going to state my gender as 0÷0 on my job applications.
Because it will depend on how they approach me.
When filling out applications, "Are you a Felon?"
I want to say, "Not that I know of Mate. You heard anything?"
