The Best 35 Applicant Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Applicant jokes. There are some applicant qualifications jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these applicant recruiter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Applicant Jokes and Puns
So the interviewer asked the applicant if he had any experience as a conductor.
He responded, "Yeah, I've done a bit of training"
A monastery's bell ringer died and the monks put an ad in the paper for a new one.
The next day a man comes to the door to apply and he has no arms. The head monk says:
"Sir, how can you ring our bell if you have no arms?"
The applicant replied, "Just give me a chance, take me to the bell tower and I'll show you."
The all get to the bell tower and ask him to show them how he plans to do it. The applicant gets a running start and slams his face into the bell "RINNNNNNGGGGGGGG"
Before anyone could stop him, he backs up and runs smack into the bell again and falls to the ground dead.
The head monk spoke up, "Did anyone catch his name?"
Another monk said, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."
Interview
Employer: This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want!
At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.
Clever guy applying for a job, ended up talking about the wages...
Manager: '' So you will start at $15 a hour and later you could earn at least $20 a hour. ''
Applicant: ''Alright then I'll be back later! ''
APPLICANTS for a clerical post in a paint company were given a simple written test. They were asked to write a short note using the words GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK one candidate wrote:
Phone went 'GREEN, GREEN'. I PINKed up the phone and said, " YELLOW, YELLOW! BLUE's Speaking? WHITE did you say? Wrong number! Don't PURPLEly disturb people! And don't call BLACK!!!
I know it's old but still..
Interviewer: Describe yourself in three words.
Applicant : Very bad at maths.
What did the insurance company say to the applicant?
THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
A CEO, his American employee, and an immigrant applicant are sitting at a table with a box of 20 cookies...
A CEO, his American employee, and an immigrant applicant are sitting at a table with a box of 20 cookies.
The CEO takes 19 cookies, then whispers to the American employee, "Watch out, I think that Mexican is going to try and take your cookie!"
At a job interview:
Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses?
Applicant: I'm lazy
I: that's it?
A: I'm lazy to list them all...
How do you think bus driver interviews go?
Applicant: Sorry I'm late!
Interviewer: You're hired!
Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
You can explore applicant accountant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean applicant strengths dad jokes. There are also applicant puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
a guy got an Interview for a job with EA
Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
Boss: welcome on board
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Applicant: I fall in love easily
Interviewer: Um.. ok what are your weaknesses?
Applicant: Those blue eyes of yours.
I was 30min late for an interview today
Thank god the applicant is still there
Another interview joke
During a job interview, the interviewer asks, I noticed a 6 year gap in your resume. How do you account for this period of time?
The applicant responds, I went to Yale.
Excited, the interviewer says, Yale?!? You're hired!
The applicant replies, Yay! I got a yob!
The Interview
Interviewer : we need people with lots of patience.
Applicant : Sir, I use internet explorer, with a 2g connection.
I am Responsible
Employer : We need someone for this Job, who is Responsible.
Applicant : Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I am Responsible..
At a job interview:
The HR manager: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Applicant: I never know when to quit.
Manager: That seems ok, you're hired.
Applicant: I quit!
Interviewer: do you have any special skills?
Interviewer: Do you have any special skills?
Applicant: Yes, I can shapeshift.
Interviewer: Is that so?
Interviewer: Yeap.
Store Applicant
One day a manager at a grocery store was interviewing applicants to take up a position in his store.
He asks one applicant, "Do you have any experience with stocking?"
The applicant replies, "Yes, actually, I have four convictions for that."
Urology joke I made up today
What does the the urologist say to the accepted internship applicant?
Ur-ine dadum tss
Why did the dyslexic police academy applicant get shot when he showed up for an interview?
He let the Captain know he was an aspiring POC on his cover letter.
Interviewer: "Under skills, you listed "great dad" ."
Job applicant: "The best !"
Interviewer: "i haven't seen you in years. i'm not hiring you."
Job applicant: "Please, i need the money, son."
Employer: For this job, we need someone responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want! In my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, my boss always said I was responsible.
The Job Interview
Three equally qualified applicants apply for a job. The interviewer decides to test their powers of observation.
He asks all three of them the same question. Look at me closely and tell me what you notice.
Applicant 1: If you don't mind me saying, one of your ears is higher than the other.
Well done!
Applicant 2: Are your ears uneven?
Yes, well done!
Applicant 3: Are you wearing contact lenses?
How'd you know that?
Well, you'd never wear glasses with ears like that.
A man is having a job interview
Interviewer: What is this 3 year gap in your resume?
Applicant: Oh, that's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: Wow, Yale! That's impressive, your hired!
Applicant: Thanks, I really needed this yob.
What is the reason for divorce?
Judge: "What is the reason for divorce?"
Applicant: "I found out that he was the owner of the apartment we used to rent for 2 years?"
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want.
On my last job,
every time anything went wrong,
they said I was responsible."
Interviewer: Do you have any question about the job that you are applying for?
Applicant: How much is the salary?
Interviewer: Initially $40,000. Later it could go up to $80,000
Applicant: I will start later then.
A manager examined a job application, then turned to the applicant and said, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."
*"Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you are doing."*
Greatest Strength
Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength?
Applicant: Yes.
Interviewer: What?
Applicant: Sorry, I thought you asked if I was listening.
An applicant is being interviewed for an engineering position
Interviewer: Your resume says that you can solve math problems quickly.
Applicant: Yes
Interviewer: Okay, what is 35 x 8?
Applicant: 250!
Interviewer: That's way off.
Applicant: Well, it is, but as my resume said, I'm a quick solver.
Interviewer: Can you explain these 4 jobless years in your resume? Applicant: That's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: Impressive! You are hired!
Applicant: Thanks, I really need this yob.
Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full?
Applicant: It's completely full.
Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory.
Interviewer: What are three words that describe you?
Applicant: Hardworking, intelligent and dishonest.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the applicant resume jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working applicant petition piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.