Following is our collection of Applicant jokes which are very funny. There are some applicant qualifications jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these applicant recruiter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He responded, "Yeah, I've done a bit of training"
The next day a man comes to the door to apply and he has no arms. The head monk says:
"Sir, how can you ring our bell if you have no arms?"
The applicant replied, "Just give me a chance, take me to the bell tower and I'll show you."
The all get to the bell tower and ask him to show them how he plans to do it. The applicant gets a running start and slams his face into the bell "RINNNNNNGGGGGGGG"
Before anyone could stop him, he backs up and runs smack into the bell again and falls to the ground dead.
The head monk spoke up, "Did anyone catch his name?"
Another monk said, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."
Employer: This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want!
At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.
Manager: '' So you will start at $15 a hour and later you could earn at least $20 a hour. ''
Applicant: ''Alright then I'll be back later! ''
Phone went 'GREEN, GREEN'. I PINKed up the phone and said, " YELLOW, YELLOW! BLUE's Speaking? WHITE did you say? Wrong number! Don't PURPLEly disturb people! And don't call BLACK!!!
Interviewer: Describe yourself in three words.
Applicant : Very bad at maths.
THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
A CEO, his American employee, and an immigrant applicant are sitting at a table with a box of 20 cookies.
The CEO takes 19 cookies, then whispers to the American employee, "Watch out, I think that Mexican is going to try and take your cookie!"
Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses?
Applicant: I'm lazy
I: that's it?
A: I'm lazy to list them all...
Applicant: Sorry I'm late!
Interviewer: You're hired!
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
You can explore applicant accountant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean applicant strengths dad jokes. There are also applicant puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
Boss: welcome on board
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Applicant: I fall in love easily
Interviewer: Um.. ok what are your weaknesses?
Applicant: Those blue eyes of yours.
Thank god the applicant is still there
During a job interview, the interviewer asks, I noticed a 6 year gap in your resume. How do you account for this period of time?
The applicant responds, I went to Yale.
Excited, the interviewer says, Yale?!? You're hired!
The applicant replies, Yay! I got a yob!
Interviewer : we need people with lots of patience.
Applicant : Sir, I use internet explorer, with a 2g connection.
Employer : We need someone for this Job, who is Responsible.
Applicant : Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I am Responsible..
The HR manager: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Applicant: I never know when to quit.
Manager: That seems ok, you're hired.
Applicant: I quit!
Interviewer: Do you have any special skills?
Applicant: Yes, I can shapeshift.
Interviewer: Is that so?
Interviewer: Yeap.
One day a manager at a grocery store was interviewing applicants to take up a position in his store.
He asks one applicant, "Do you have any experience with stocking?"
The applicant replies, "Yes, actually, I have four convictions for that."
What does the the urologist say to the accepted internship applicant?
Ur-ine dadum tss
He let the Captain know he was an aspiring POC on his cover letter.
Job applicant: "The best !"
Interviewer: "i haven't seen you in years. i'm not hiring you."
Job applicant: "Please, i need the money, son."
Applicant: I'm the one you want! In my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, my boss always said I was responsible.
Three equally qualified applicants apply for a job. The interviewer decides to test their powers of observation.
He asks all three of them the same question. Look at me closely and tell me what you notice.
Applicant 1: If you don't mind me saying, one of your ears is higher than the other.
Well done!
Applicant 2: Are your ears uneven?
Yes, well done!
Applicant 3: Are you wearing contact lenses?
How'd you know that?
Well, you'd never wear glasses with ears like that.
Interviewer: What is this 3 year gap in your resume?
Applicant: Oh, that's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: Wow, Yale! That's impressive, your hired!
Applicant: Thanks, I really needed this yob.
Judge: "What is the reason for divorce?"
Applicant: "I found out that he was the owner of the apartment we used to rent for 2 years?"
Applicant: "I'm the one you want.
On my last job,
every time anything went wrong,
they said I was responsible."
Applicant: How much is the salary?
Interviewer: Initially $40,000. Later it could go up to $80,000
Applicant: I will start later then.
*"Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you are doing."*
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the applicant resume jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working applicant petition piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.