Following is our collection of hardware humor and warranty one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Appliance puns for adults, dirty kitchen jokes or clean swatter gags for kids.
There is an abundance of televisions jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 27 funniest jokes on appliance. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any salesperson witze you can hear about appliance.
Al Sharpton heads into best buy and is browsing the appliance section. He calls over a young white male employee.
Al: Hey young man, I'd like to register a complaint.
Best Buy Guy: What seems to be the issue sir?
Al: Well you see son, all of these washers are white! This is outrageous!
Best Buy Guy: (opens the lid and points inside the machine) Well if you look inside sir, you'll see that all the agitators are black.
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave."
The micro wave.
than any other household appliance.
Three women are chatting, a French, an American and a Russian.
The French says: "After we got married, I told my husband right away that I was not going to cook, do dishes and laundry or clean the house. He disappeared, I didn't see him for a day, two, three, then he came back with a housemaid. Now she does all that, and I just sit and relax all day long."
The American says: "Well, after we got married, I told my husband the same. Didn't see him for a day, two, three, then he came back with some big appliance. Now it does all that automatically, and I just sit and relax all day long."
The Russian says: "After we got married, I told my husband that I wouldn't do all that either. I didn't see him for a day, two, three. On the fourth day I was finally able to see something with my right eye."
How much for that TV set in the window?
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, I don't sell stuff to potheads. So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit smoking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?
And the owner says, I told you I don't sell to potheads! So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, How much for that TV?
The owner says, I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, How can you tell I'm a pothead?
The owner looks back and says, Because that's a microwave
HAPPY 4-20
A wife
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: haircut and new color, new outfit and big sunglasses, and then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
than any other appliance.
My wife has made me buy an electric bread maker, electric stove, electric blender, electric toaster and other appliances. Now she's complaining that we have too many appliances and nowhere to sit down. So I bought her an electric chair.
"You're grounded."
A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental appliance replaced due to corrosion.
The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.
The man replied that his wife made an excellent holllandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just about everything, and of course it has a lot of lemon juice in it.
"OK" the dentist said, "I have just the thing. I'll order a new one made with chromium"
"That will fix it?" the man asked.
"Absolutely", the dentist replied
"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise".
De light.
A Black and Decker
A frigeridoo
A rebel appliance.
In a really dejected, pitiful voice it told me, "Don't bother pal, I'm useless. I'll never get that crusty lasagne off that pan. I'm terrible. The glassware will all have water spots by the time I'm done. I'm the worst appliance in this house!!"
I said, "What's wrong with you?!"
"Nothing, I'm a self loathing dishwasher."
Co-Written by: IveyRoney
The Frieza!
A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance
That's the last time I buy something from a store called "Appliance Solutions".
A blender vendor in a fender bender
A Microwave.
You can debate about the morality of these experiments but either way I'm not a big fan.
A chef was cooking some fresh beets on a REALLY dilapidated, old stove. The stove was hardly putting out any heat at all and he got so frustrated, he kicked the sorry appliance all the way
across the kitchen, shouting as he went.......... ROLL OVER BEET OVEN!!!
Because nature abhors a vacuum.
"You're grounded."
A blonde goes to an appliance store. After looking around for a while she goes to the clerk and says "I would like to buy that TV". In response the clerk informs her that the store does not serve to blonde, so the blonde goes home and puts on a wig. When she asks to buy the TV again, she is met with the same response. She tries two more times. On her last attempt when the clerk tells her "I am sorry we do not sell to blondes" she asks he how he knows she is a blonde. He says "Because, miss, that is a microwave..."
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.