Appliance Jokes

Following is our collection of hardware humor and warranty one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Appliance puns for adults, dirty kitchen jokes or clean swatter gags for kids.

There is an abundance of televisions jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 27 funniest jokes on appliance. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any salesperson witze you can hear about appliance.

The Best jokes about Appliance

Al Sharpton goes to Best Buy

Al Sharpton heads into best buy and is browsing the appliance section. He calls over a young white male employee.

Al: Hey young man, I'd like to register a complaint.
Best Buy Guy: What seems to be the issue sir?
Al: Well you see son, all of these washers are white! This is outrageous!
Best Buy Guy: (opens the lid and points inside the machine) Well if you look inside sir, you'll see that all the agitators are black.

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave."

Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most?

The micro wave.

Studies show that more Americans watch television...

than any other household appliance.

Three wives

Three women are chatting, a French, an American and a Russian.

The French says: "After we got married, I told my husband right away that I was not going to cook, do dishes and laundry or clean the house. He disappeared, I didn't see him for a day, two, three, then he came back with a housemaid. Now she does all that, and I just sit and relax all day long."

The American says: "Well, after we got married, I told my husband the same. Didn't see him for a day, two, three, then he came back with some big appliance. Now it does all that automatically, and I just sit and relax all day long."

The Russian says: "After we got married, I told my husband that I wouldn't do all that either. I didn't see him for a day, two, three. On the fourth day I was finally able to see something with my right eye."


A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner

How much for that TV set in the window?
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, I don't sell stuff to potheads. So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit smoking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?
And the owner says, I told you I don't sell to potheads! So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, How much for that TV?
The owner says, I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, How can you tell I'm a pothead?
The owner looks back and says, Because that's a microwave

HAPPY 4-20

What kitchen appliance is most likely to start a fire?

A wife

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: haircut and new color, new outfit and big sunglasses, and then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

It has been proven that more Americans watch television

than any other appliance.

Appliances

My wife has made me buy an electric bread maker, electric stove, electric blender, electric toaster and other appliances. Now she's complaining that we have too many appliances and nowhere to sit down. So I bought her an electric chair.

What did the wall outlet say to the appliance?

"You're grounded."


A man and his corroded dental appliance..

A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental appliance replaced due to corrosion.

The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.

The man replied that his wife made an excellent holllandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just about everything, and of course it has a lot of lemon juice in it.

"OK" the dentist said, "I have just the thing. I'll order a new one made with chromium"

"That will fix it?" the man asked.

"Absolutely", the dentist replied

"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise".

What is de most enjoyable household appliance?

De light.

What is Chris Brown's favorite cooking appliance?

A Black and Decker

What do you get when you cross Australia with a kitchen appliance?

A frigeridoo

What do you call a rogue toaster?

A rebel appliance.

After dinner I started to pack the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, when it suddenly started talking!

In a really dejected, pitiful voice it told me, "Don't bother pal, I'm useless. I'll never get that crusty lasagne off that pan. I'm terrible. The glassware will all have water spots by the time I'm done. I'm the worst appliance in this house!!"

I said, "What's wrong with you?!"

"Nothing, I'm a self loathing dishwasher."

Co-Written by: IveyRoney

What kitchen appliance does Goku have to become Super Saiyan to use?

The Frieza!

What's the difference between a duck and a curling iron?

A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance


The new dishwasher I bought was made with water-soluble parts.

That's the last time I buy something from a store called "Appliance Solutions".

What do you call it when a kitchen appliance salesman gets into a minor vehicular accident?

A blender vendor in a fender bender

What's a surfers least favourite household appliance?

A Microwave.

Last week I went to this dodgy experiment to see what type of home appliance I would be and what size

You can debate about the morality of these experiments but either way I'm not a big fan.

Classic Music Joke for the ages

A chef was cooking some fresh beets on a REALLY dilapidated, old stove. The stove was hardly putting out any heat at all and he got so frustrated, he kicked the sorry appliance all the way
across the kitchen, shouting as he went.......... ROLL OVER BEET OVEN!!!

My kids just got a puppy that is scared of every appliance in the house, but one in particular. I suggested they name it Nature.

Because nature abhors a vacuum.

What did the house say to the misbehaving appliance?

"You're grounded."

Blonde

A blonde goes to an appliance store. After looking around for a while she goes to the clerk and says "I would like to buy that TV". In response the clerk informs her that the store does not serve to blonde, so the blonde goes home and puts on a wig. When she asks to buy the TV again, she is met with the same response. She tries two more times. On her last attempt when the clerk tells her "I am sorry we do not sell to blondes" she asks he how he knows she is a blonde. He says "Because, miss, that is a microwave..."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes