The Best 32 Apples Pears Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Apples Pears jokes. There are some apples pears jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these apples pears puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Apples Pears Jokes and Puns

Gave my daughter an apple for breakfast this morning 🍎

She said she only likes pears!


So I gave her another apple. 🍎🍎

I told my neighbor I was too scared to grow an apple tree.

He said grow a pear.

Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify

should just grow a pear.

A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore...

I told him to grow a pear.

I gave my friend an apple, and he told me he preferred pears.

So I gave him another apple.


I used to weep over my poor apple harvest.

Then I grew a pear.

I tried to put two apples together

But then I got a pear

When is an Iphone not an Apple?

When there's two of them. Then it's a pear.

My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree.

I told him, "Grow a pear"!

What do you say to someone too scared to plant apples ?

Grow a pear.

I know you can't compare apples to oranges...

...but two apples do make a pear.

You can explore apples pears reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apples pears dad jokes. There are also apples pears puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My buddy told me he was too afraid to grow apples.

I was like, bro, grow a pear.

What do you call two apples next to each other?

A pear.

My mate quit the rat race to become an apple farmer, and now he's whining about how much work it is.

So I told him to just grow a pear.

A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago.

They're trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pears.

I don't get toilet roll there anymore.

My doctor told me I had to add more apples, pears, and berries to my diet

It was a fruitful checkup.

Steve jobs goes to Heaven..

.. As he steps up to the pearly gates, St. Peter looks at him with a frown on his face, points downwards and says: You know how we feel about Apples up here.

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

Why couldn't the apples go to the homecoming dance?

Because only PEARS were allowed! get it? pears! ok bye..


Apple literally named their company after an Apple 🍎

But then expect you to PEAR your Airpods? 🍐

Why can't you connect 2 speakers at the same time to an apple device?

They work in pears.

Why can't fruit be compared?

Apples and oranges cannot be peared.

I went to buy some fruit yesterday...

I walked into the store intending to buy an apple. So I asked the cashier "How much do apples cost?"

He said that they were 50p each, but bananas and pears were only 30p each.

So I said "Oh ok then, I'll take a pear".

He gave me two apples and charged me £1.

My mum is allergic to apples and pears

That's why we live in a bungalow

What did the apple say to the pear?

No idea. I figured if anyone knew what fruits talked about it would be you.

Aaaannnd here come the downvotes...

Watermelon cantaloupe

But apple pears

Why don't boobies make apple juice?

BECAUSE GIRLS ONLY HAVE A "PEAR" AHAHEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

What is the difference between an apple and a pear?

Anyone can grow an apple. It takes courage to grow a pear.

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear.


Why can't you have two Apple watches?

Because then it would be a pair (pear)!

what did the sad apple do when it became a rapper?

Diss pear

Why did the apple get bruised by the orange

Pear pressure

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the apples pears jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working apples pears piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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