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Apple Picking Jokes

21 apple picking jokes and hilarious apple picking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about apple picking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Apple Picking Short Jokes

Short apple picking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The apple picking humour may include short apple fruit jokes also.

  1. Apple employee pick-up lines. "Are you a play button? Because I'd zero-length swipe that."
  2. What do you get when you mix a Mexican, and a octopus? I don't know either but could you imagine that thing picking apples?!
  3. A man and a woman are on a date.............. Man: What is your job?
    Woman: I'm a doctor
    Man: Guess I won't be needing this \*picks up apple and throws it across room\*
  4. Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
  5. When ever I'm given the chance between apple juice or orange juice, I always pick apple. My friends ask me why and I say Cause oj will kill ya
  6. I tried to pick up a girl at the Apple space bar. To bad she was in between commands at the time.

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Apple Picking One Liners

Which apple picking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with apple picking? I can suggest the ones about apple and pear and apple cider.

  1. What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked
  2. What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked
  3. What is the difference between an apple and an orphan ? Apple gets picked
  4. So a guy went apple-picking in the dead of winter It was a fruitless effort
  5. Today I got my first paycheck from my fruit picking job. It was Apple Pay.
  6. Going apple picking would be cool if you don't know grocery stores exist.

Cheeky Apple Picking Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about apple picking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean apple turnover jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make apple picking pranks.

An old farmer was picking apples. After filling up a bucket and walking back to the farm, he saw a group of beautiful women swimming in his pond

As he got closer, he realized they were skinny dipping. When the group noticed the old farmer approaching them, one girl shouts to him "we are not coming out until you turn away". The farmer, thinking quick, holds up the bucket of apples and says "I'm just here to feed the gator anyway"

A man is sitting in a train

and watches the guy on the other side of the aisle take an apple out of his pocket, cutting it open, picking out the seeds and chewing them.
Why are you chewing the seeds?
They make me smarter
Really? Could I have some?
Sure, dollar a piece
The man agrees and gets three apple seeds for three bucks. He chews them for a while, then says Wait a minute, for three bucks I could've bought two pounds of apples!
See, it's already working

A man calls the National Security Agency...

Man: Hello, I heard you record all our phone conversations, is that correct?
Agent: No sir, we don't do that
Man: Oh shoot. I was just talking to my wife and she gave me a list of things to do and I can't remember! I thought I would check with you rather than call her back and let her know I wasn't listening!
Agent: I'm sorry to hear that sir, but as I said, we don't listen to civilian conversations. However, you should:
1. Pick up a gallon of milk
2. 2 dozen eggs
3. 4 Macintosh apples
4. Help Sofia with her math homework
....

A farmer was picking apples when he heard a noise from his pond. He walks over and sees three young women skinny dipping.

They notice him and crouch in the water up to their shoulders. Go away! Stop spying on us! The farmer says Sorry ladies, but I didn't come out here to see you n**.... Holding up his apple bucket he says I came to feed the alligator.