Following is our collection of macs humor and airpods one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Apple puns for adults, dirty ipad jokes or clean ipatch gags for kids.
There is an abundance of ios jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 62 funniest jokes on apple. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any magical apples witze you can hear about apple.
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Minneapolis
Plastic Explosives.
And those are the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.
"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"
The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
For the watch
It's already run out of battery.
Does that make you an iWitness?
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
Or a pharmacy, or maybe a shoe store.
...bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on...
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "Jack off".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.
He adjusts the volume.
Now we know why the iPhone 6 can't stay straight
The Chargers suck.
$25k worth of merchandise was stolen. The police said that they will get both computers back.
The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.ο»Ώ
Would it release nine eleven next year
Edit : my first 24 hours top 10 thanks all
when they call it an iPhone 6+ and it's only 5.5 inches.
It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash.
Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines.
They claim that the Galaxy S3 has copied concepts used on the iPhone 6.
Another one would have been an XS
He got fired.
The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
Cause OJ will kill you.
Give them options.
I'm going to be an iWitness at the trial
should just grow a pear.
Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.
a bird sitting in the tree asks "Hey, Bear, why are you up in this tree?"
the bear says "I came up here to eat apples."
the bird says "But Bear, this isn't an apple tree. there are no apples up here."
the bear says "That's ok, I brought my own."
Because her client came in cider.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples
A really fast apple.
I guess that makes me an iWitness.
So later the police called me as an iwitness.
Only two were invited, but the third one got in through the backdoor.
An iPatch... I'm sorry...
I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight.
Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name.
Eve: I got an Apple.
Adam: ...
Eve: ...
Adam: ...
Eve: What?
Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android.
Eve: The serpent said this was better.ο»Ώ
'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.
The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
It's not my fault they don't have Windowsο»Ώ
because he didn't know Mandarin
A man asks a Russian: What nationality were Adam and Eve?
The Russian replies: Soviet of course!
The man asks: How do you know?
To which the Russian replies: Well they were both naked, had only an apple to eat, and thought they were in paradise.
I'm the only iWitness
... does that make you an iWitness?
One rich man is asked how he got rich. He answers: I bought one unwashed apple in the market for a dollar, washed it and sold it for 2, then bought 2 unwashed apples, washed it and sold it for 4. -And so gradually you got rich? - No, after 2 years, my grandmother died and left me a legacy of 4 billion dollars, and I stopped doing nonsense
...smell their apple juice before they drink it.
Couldn't they just download it from the App Store for free?
Every day, the doctor brings her a flower, while the programmer brings her an apple.
Eventually, she chooses to go out with the programmer.
Outraged, the doctor asks the programmer why he brought her apples.
The programmer responded An Apple a day keeps the doctor away
A sudden desert storm had made a traveler lost his direction. The only thing he had was an apple. It was so precious, whenever he was thirsty or hungry, he would only look at the apple, then he would walk again full of hope.
Unfortunately, he still died in the desert. It was written on the police report: He would have walked out of the desert if he had had a Samsung or Nokia.
An old man is dying, with his young grandson by his bedside. He asks his grandson to lean over and whispers "Johnny, I smell your grandma's apple pie. Looks like she took it of the oven. Go to the kitchen and bring me a piece. It's my favorite."
Johnny gets up and leaves. 2 minutes later he comes back empty handed and says "Sorry, grandpa, but grandma says its for after the funeral."
An orange a day keeps the plumber away...
Basically if you throw fruit at people they go away.
A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl.
Doctor used to give her a rose daily
and engineer used to give the girl an apple.
Girl got confused and asked engineer : There is a meaning of giving rose in Love,
Why are you giving apple ?
Engineer answered : Because
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away".
R.I.P. Isaac Newton
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."
The best stuff has already been been done better by someone else.
...or maybe a hospital....or possibly a church
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.