Apple Cider Jokes
36 apple cider jokes and hilarious apple cider puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about apple cider that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Apple Cider Short Jokes
Short apple cider jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The apple cider humour may include short apple juice jokes also.
- My wife calls me "her apple." I agreed, and I replied that I am her apple indeed, because I would very much like to be in cider
- The estate of Charles Dickens is too make alcoholic beverages from the apples on their land The slogan is "All the girls love a Dickens Cider"
- Brewing company Hart Dickins is catering to its female customer base with a new alcoholic apple cider. After all, what woman wouldn't want a Hart Dickins cider?
- Why do apples avoid being seen with Martha Stewart? to avoid suspicion of in-cider trading
- Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider.
- I'm gonna make apple cider using only apples that fell from the tree. I'll call it Apple Suicider
- I once went out with a girl that was obsessed with apples I didn't realize how crazy she really was until she put me in cider
- I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider.
- What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple? One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.
- Which company makes the best apple cider? Dicken's. Because everyone wants their Dicken's Cider.
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Apple Cider One Liners
Which apple cider one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with apple cider? I can suggest the ones about cider and apple picking.
- Why did the chicken cross the apple orchard? To get to the other cider heheheh
- What do you call a spy that sell apples? An in cider
- Local Apple grower was sent to federal prison this week... In cider trading.
- You can call me Apple. Because I'm always in cider.
- How did the bug fetishist drink her apple juice? She put a spider in cider.
- How did the orange know the peach was cheating on him? He saw Apple cider.
- I had s**... with a girl in an apple orchard, I came in cider.
- Today I slept with a girl in an apple orchard... She let me come in cider
Happy Apple Cider Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about apple cider you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean apple fruit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make apple cider pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the p**... get angry after having s**... in an apple orchard?
Because her client came in cider.
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I'm having s**... with a woman I prefer to do it atop a pile of fermented apples…
I just love the feeling of being in cider.
Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.
It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?
I was trying to impress this girl
I was of course, trying to sleep with this girl.
So in order to impress her, I filled up my bathtub with fermented apples and alcohol.
I was trying to get...in-cider.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a young lady from Ryde
There was a young lady from Ryde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
Inside the lamented,
the apple fermented,
and made cider inside her insides.
These two brothers had been chasing her all summer, so she finally relented and agreed to their odd, but innocent sounding request take a hot apple juice bath with them.
Finally they'll get to be in cider
What do you call someone who actively works towards the extinction of apples?
An apple cider
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Christmas Angel
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful Christmas tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's bad day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had finished the cider and the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the liquor bottle, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa stomped to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
