applaud Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious applaud puns

I told a guy talking on the phone in the library to shut the fuck up

As a result, everyone in the library started to applaud me so I turned and told them all to shut the fuck up too.


Dangerous trick

Circus. The most popular and dangerous trick, guy put his penis in crocodile's mouth, croc shuts his mouth, the guy hits croc on the head, croc opens up his mouth and guy takes his penis unharmed, everybody applaud!

Than guy asks the audience:
if you can do it, I'll pay anybody $1000!!!!

Girl stands up and says:
"I'll do it, just don't hit me on the head!!!!"


Fart contest

There was a farting contest in town.

The first contestant came in front of the microphone and played *Twinkle twinkle little star*. Applauses followed as he went down the stage.

Next, the second one played *When the saints come Marching in*. Everybody stood up to applaud this time.

The third one, came up the stage with a serious look in his face. But instead of a song, he said "To be honest, I wasn't expecting this level of expertise and preparation from my adversaries. I don't feel like I'm at the same level than those guys, so I'm going to retire from the contest. Thank you very much."

After those words, he got the microphone out of his ass and left the stage.


When you pass gas loudly in a crowded room, everyone should applaud...

That takes some guts.


I applaud all the women who don't shave down there

That's a level of self confidence I can really get behind.


I'd really like to applaud my doctor. The symptoms of my gonorrhea are finally starting to go away.

::slow clap::


Can we applaud David Spade for not having any allegations of sexual advances?

Consensual ones included.


why can't a squirrel change a lightbulb?

If you can get it i applaud you good person!


I for one applaud Melania Trump for trying to assimilate to American culture.

She plagiarizes like the best of us.


What are the most funny Applaud jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Applaud? Well, here are the best Applaud dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Applaud pick up lines to share with friends.


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