Appeal Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Appeal puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Appeal

Nobody wanted to see the naked banana . . .

it just lacked appeal

45 year old charming guy

Having recently turned 45, I thought I had lost all the appeal and charm I used to have with the ladies, until today that is. At my local gas station, the pretty young girl who has served me every other day or so for several weeks asked for my number. I was taken aback. I explained how I was flattered but was perhaps a bit too old for her and that if I were 20 or so years younger I would happily take her up on her offer, I explained how love and sexual attraction, when intertwined, can be exciting and that I hadn't felt this way in years and asked that she save her love for someone who will truly care for her and respect her not only as a woman, but as a person.

. . . . "No," she said. "Your pump number, sir."

A man goes up to heaven and is being shown around.

A man goes up to heaven and is being shown around. He is surprised to be living with his wife and an ex from college. An angel explains "In heaven, you spend your time with the people you had sex with the most times".

The man thinks this could cause trouble and asks if there is any way to appeal the decision. The angel tells him he could speak to one of the priests. The man asks where to find a priest. The angel replies "They are easy to find, just look for a crowd of choir boys".

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.

The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."

"Fine then, you're in," said God.

The collie said, "I was always faithful to my master and brought the family together when they were down."

"Sounds wonderful," said God. "Welcome."

Then it was the cat's turn. "Why should we let you in?" asked God.

"Well actually, I think you're in my chair."

I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs...

All you do is throw money at women who refuse to have sex with you. If I wanted that I would be married.


You know you teach in a rough neighborhood when...

You ask the class what comes after a sentence and they say, "you make an appeal."

I wrote a dieting book.

I think it will appeal to a wide audience.

The Apple store in town got robbed last night

the police have sent out an appeal for iWitnesses

Why was the banana a good prosecutor?

She always made the defense slip up on appeal.

Where does Hillary Clinton eat at to appeal to Asian voters?

Pander Express.

World's Funniest Joke

The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.

The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.


The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan,was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester:


*Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"*


If you are a woman and you like men that wear glasses...

I am full of specs appeal.

The next LG phone needs to appeal to all audiences and be a plus size phone

We'll call it the LGbtq+

When I make math jokes, I try to appeal to the lowest common denominator...

The problem is that with you lot I usually end up dividing by zero.

/mathburn!

Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say.

I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server.

Asexual Reproduction.

I never really understood the appeal of asexual reproduction. But, You do you, I guess.

Why do people like bananas?

Because they have appeal!

Why are bananas so popular?

Because they have appeal

Why didn't Princess Fiona fall in love with Lord Farquaad?

He lacks Shrek's appeal


Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.

First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.

More movie news, the trailer for the new "X-Men" flick shows that Wolverine will potentially face grave injury. The harrowing injury comes about when our hero forgets to retract his claws before wiping.

This is a cool story, a US Airways flight safely made a belly landing at Newark Airport. The plane was evidently taken down by heavy turbulence originating from Governor Christie's farts at a nearby Long John Silver's.

TV news, ESPN has been forced to take major layoffs and budget cuts. You can tell things are getting cheap as now the only athletic event they now can afford to cover is Tiger Woods dodging heels thrown by his exes.

In the political sector, Vice President Biden recently ribbed the president for always using a teleprompter. However, nobody seemed to ridicule Biden when he read his recent speech on healthcare reform off the back of a Hooters napkin.

And finally, the new Xbox will utilize "the cloud" - so no matter where you are in the world, at any time, you can look up the fact that you lost a brave Call of Duty battle to a 13 year-old user named "GeneralFatPenis69".

Thanks for reading again, folks. I really appreciate it!

How do bananas fundraise?

They make an appeal.

Why is Orange County so popular?

Because it has appeal.

...I'll see myself out.

Why was the vampire removed as CEO?

He couldn't appeal to the stakeholders.

When you market TV shows and movies in other countries, it's not uncommon to change the title in order to appeal to the local population.

For example, the Chinese title for "Black Mirror" is "Really Cool Ideas".

My Nookie Days Are Over

My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal, is now my waterspout.

Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring,

But now I've got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.

For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,

to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!

I get the appeal of being an anti-vaxxer...

Choosing to "be an anti-vaxxer for life" is a much shorter-term commitment than many other "for life" decision.

Why do bananas get all the ladies?

Because they have appeal

I really don't understand the appeal of black jokes...

If you've heard one, you've heard Jamal.

Did you hear about the guy who sued a banana?

He won the initial case but lost on the banana's appeal.

A Banana has been sentenced to 20 years in jail

After 10 years, he asks for an appeal

My lawyer was eating a banana when she said I lost the case.

I asked if I could have appeal.

Make sure to dress extra provocative if you ever find yourself in a 5th attempt to overturn a criminal conviction

You'll definitely need that six appeal.

Nintendo Labo plans to appeal to less frequently targeted groups, including Jewish communities and Zelda fans.

Old lawyers never die

They just lose their appeal

What comes after a sentence?

An appeal

An appeals court has upheld a ban on pit bulls

Another victory in the war on terrier

Why was the proton so popular?

It had mass appeal.

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for having sex with the bananas and fruit at the grocery store?

He recently got off on appeal.

Movies appeal to either dog people or cat people.

For example the Hunger Games has more of a feline nature. There's a certain cat-ness to it.

With his campaign struggling, Ben Carson seeks to appeal more to a mainstream and humanize himself with a new campaign slogan...

Once you go black, you never go back.

Carson 2016

Bananas for the blind...

I don't see the appeal

I have no idea how marmalade is made.

I just don't understand its appeal.

I've always had a specific love for bananas...

...they have appeal

Why would a banana go to court?

To get an appeal


Badum tssh

Why did the skinless banana have no friends?

Because he lacked appeal

Who likes bananas?

A fairly good amount do. They have appeal.

Two blokes are out driving in Saudi Arabia.

The driver has a row of stitches around both his wrists. His mate points at them and says, I see you won your appeal then...

Donald trump, in an attempt to appeal to younger voters, is attempting to use the nostalgia card.

Somebody really needs to tell him that we collected Beanie-Babies not beaner babies.

Appeal a day keeps the...

... justice away!!

I had a pretty good joke about a Catholic priest

But it got old and lost it's appeal

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes