Apostles Jokes

Discover the best jokes about the 12 apostles and their role in the Trinity and salvation. Laugh along with these witty and clever disciples!

Rib-Tickling Apostles Jokes that Bring Friends Together

So, Jesus is going over the bill for the Last Supper...

So Jesus is going over the bill for the Last Supper when the apostles notice he has closed his eyes, and is rubbing the bridge of his nose. Exasperated, he asks: "Why... WHY would anyone order wine?"

Jesus and the 12 apostles walk into a restaurant

and Jesus says to the waiter:

-- Table for 26 please.

-- But there's only 13 of you?

-- Yeah, but we wanna sit all on one side.

Jesus walks into a restaurant with his Apostles...

and says to the host, "Table for 26 please". The host, confused said, "but Jesus, it's just you and your 12 Apostles, that only makes 13". To this Jesus replied, "Yeah, but we're only going to sit on one side of the table."

So, Jesus and the Apostles walk into a Bar...

Jesus motions to the bartender, says "13 waters, please," and winks at the apostles.

At the Last Supper...

[At Last Supper]

*Jesus raises bread*
"This is my body!"
*Jesus raises wine*
"And this is my blood!"
*Pulls out 9 of Clubs*
"And this is your card"
*Apostles go nuts*

The new priest

A new priest was nervous before his first sermon, so the monseigneur told him to have a bit of a drink before mass to take off the edge.

The new priest took the advice. After the sermon he returned to the rectory to find a note. It read:

Good sermon today, but a few small points:

- There are 10 commandments, not 12

- There are 12 apostles, not 10

- David was struck with a rock and knocked off his donkey, he was not "Stoned off his ass"

- Next weekend there's a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's

Jesus was able to hold the 12 apostles together...

He acted as a crossmemeber.

Apostles joke, Jesus was able to hold the 12 apostles together...

The apostles are at the last supper...

Jesus is eating like a slob and spilling wine everywhere and Judas says to him "Were you born in a barn?"

Jesus was talking with the 12 apostles..

He said Hey Guys, I can walk on water!
They responded No way
And he said back Yahweh!

I'm painting a still life version of The Last Supper with all the apostles as vegetables

Judas is carrot.

Did you hear the one about the Atheist who played hide and seek with the Apostles?

He found Jesus.

You can explore apostles disciple reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean apostles christ dad jokes. There are also apostles puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Jesus and his apostles go to a restaurant...

"Table for 26, please," Jesus tells the hostess.

"But there are only 13 of you."

"Yeah, but we're all going to sit on one side of the table."

Jesus' apostles were Mexican...

...Because there were twelve of them who traveled in an accord.

What type of car did the apostles drive?

A Honda, because they were all in one Accord.

According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer?

Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord.

Jesus and the Apostles walk into a bar.

"How many?" the hostess asks.

Jesus replies: "Table for 26 please. It's our Last Supper and we all want to sit on the same side."

Apostles joke, Jesus and the Apostles walk into a bar.

Jesus and the apostles run out of weed...

Peter is upset but Simon calmly reminds him, "He has resin."

Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table.

There must have been a show and karaoke.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the apostles judas puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working apostles 12 apostles piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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